* add prisoner quote

[lib.git] / signature_stuff / quote.txt

What I can't stand is the feeling that my brain is leaving me for 
someone more interesting.
%
I leave the show floor, but not before a pack of caffeinated Jolt gum
is thrust at me by a hyperactive girl screaming, "Chew more! Do more!"
The American will to consume more and produce more personified in a
stick of gum. I grab it.
 -- Chad Dickerson
%
I never until now realized that the primary job of any emoticon is to
say "excuse me, that didn't make any sense." ;-P
 -- Cory Doctorow
%
Il semble que la perfection soit atteinte non quand il n'y a plus rien
a ajouter, mais quand il n'y a plus rien a retrancher.
(Perfection is apparently not achieved when nothing more can be added,
but when nothing else can be removed.)
 -- Antoine de Saint-Exupe'ry, Terres des Hommes
%
I'd sign up in a hot second for any cellular company whose motto was:
"We're less horrible than a root canal with a cold chisel."
 -- Cory Doctorow
%
She was alot like starbucks.
IE, generic and expensive.
 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/001376.html
%
Tell me something interesting about yourself.
Lie if you have to.
 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/archives/batch20.php
%
We were at a chinese resturant.
He was yelling at the waitress because there was a typo in his fortune
cookie.
 -- hugh http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000321.html
%
Three little words. (In descending order of importance.)
I
love
you
 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/graphics/batch35.php
%
N: Why should I believe that?"
B: Because it's a fact."
N: Fact?"
B: F, A, C, T... fact"
N: So you're saying that I should believe it because it's true. 
   That's your argument?
B: It IS true.
-- "Ploy" http://www.mediacampaign.org/multimedia/Ploy.MPG
%
UF: What's your favorite coffee blend?
PD: Dark Crude with heavy water. You are understandink? "If geiger
    counter does not click, the coffee, she is just not thick."
%
"There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the    
right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself."
 -- Bach 
%
Quite the contrary; they *love* collateral damage. If they can make
you miserable enough, maybe you'll stop using email entirely. Once
enough people do that, then there'll be no legitimate reason left for
anyone to run an SMTP server, and the spam problem will be solved.
 -- Craig Dickson in <20020909231134.GA18917@linux700.localnet>
%
It seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong
 -- Chris Torek
%
Filing a bug is probably not going to get it fixed any faster.
 -- Anthony Towns
%
Build a fire for a man, an he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on   
fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
 -- Jules Bean
%
Dropping non-free would set us back at least, what, 300 packages? It'd
take MONTHS to make up the difference, and meanwhile Debian users will
be fleeing to SLACKWARE.

And what about SHAREHOLDER VALUE? 
 -- Matt Zimmerman in <gYuD3D.A.ayC.nGB39@murphy>
%
She was alot like starbucks.
IE, generic and expensive.
 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/batch3.htm
%
You could say she lived on the edge... Well, maybe not exactly on the edge,
just close enough to watch other people fall off.
  -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000309.html
%
Guns Don't Kill People.
*I* Kill People.
%
DIE!
 -- Maritza Campos http://www.crfh.net/d/20020601.html
%
"One disk to rule them all, One disk to find them. One disk to bring
them all and in the darkness grind them. In the Land of Redmond
where the shadows lie." -- The Silicon Valley Tarot
%
Miracles had become relative common-places since the advent of
entheogens; it now took very unusual circumstances to attract public
attention to sightings of supernatural entities. The latest miracle
had raised the ante on the supernatural: the Virgin Mary had
manifested herself to two children, a dog, and a Public Telepresence
Point.
 -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p228
%
Junkies were all knitted together in a loose global macrame, the
intercontinental freemasonry of narcotics.
 -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p257
%
America was far better suited to be the World's Movie Star. The
world's tequila-addled pro-league bowler. The world's acerbic bi-polar
stand-up comedian. Anything but a somber and tedious nation of
socially responsible centurions.
 -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p122
%
The attackers hadn't simply robbed the bank. They had carried off
everything portable, including the security cameras, the carpets, the
chairs, and the light and plumbing fixtures. The conspirators had
deliberately punished the bank, for reasons best known to themselves,
or to their unknown controllers. They had superglued doors and
shattered windows, severed power and communications cables, poured
stinking toxins into the wallspaces, and concreted all of the sinks
and drains. In eight minutes, sixty people had ruined the building so
thoroughly that it had to be condemned and later demolished.
 -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p4
%
Of course Pacman didn't influence us as kids. If it did, we'd be
running around in darkened rooms, popping pills and listening to
repetitive music.
%
"It's not Hollywood. War is real, war is primarily not about defeat or
victory, it is about death. I've seen thousands and thousands of dead
bodies. Do you think I want to have an academic debate on this
subject?"
 -- Robert Fisk
%
THERE IS NO GRAVITY THE WORLD SUCKS
 -- Vietnam War Penquin Lighter
http://gallery.donarmstrong.com/clippings/vietnam_there_is_no_gravity.jpg
%
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.     
 -- Robert Heinlein
%
If you have the slightest bit of intellectual integrity you cannot
support the government. -- anonymous
%
Debian's not really about the users or the software at all. It's a
large flame-generating engine that the cabal uses to heat their coffee
 -- Andrew Suffield (#debian-devel Fri, 14 Feb 2003 14:34 -0500)
%
"I was thinking seven figures," he said, "but I would have taken a
hundred grand. I'm not a greedy person." [All for a moldy bottle of
tropicana.]
 -- Sammi Hadzovic [in Andy Newman's 2003/02/14 NYT article.]
 http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/14/nyregion/14EYEB.html
%
[T]he question of whether Machines Can Think, [...] is about as
relevant as the question of whether Submarines Can Swim.
 -- Edsger W. Dijkstra "The threats to computing science"
%
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
 -- Jeremy S. Anderson
%
"A one-question geek test. If you get the joke, you're a geek: Seen on
a California license plate on a VW Beetle: 'FEATURE'..."
 -- Joshua D. Wachs - Natural Intelligence, Inc.
%
"Ban cryptography! Yes. Let's also ban pencils, pens and paper, since
criminals can use them to draw plans of the joint they are casing or
even, god forbid, create one time pads to pass uncrackable codes to
each other. Ban open spaces since criminals could use them to converse
with each other out of earshot of the police. Let's ban flags since
they could be used to pass secret messages in semaphore. In fact let's
just ban all forms of verbal and non-verbal communication -- let's see
those criminals make plans now!"
%
"There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user
off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their
REAL earnings to the IRS."
 -- The B.O.F.H..
%
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I 
realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked
Him to forgive me.
 -- Emo Philips.
%
"People selling drug paraphernalia ... are as much a part of drug
trafficking as silencers are a part of criminal homicide."
 -- John Brown, DEA Chief
%
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society.
 -- Mark Twain 
%
If you wish to strive for peace of soul, then believe; if you wish to
be a devotee of truth, then inquire.
 -- Friedrich Nietzsche
%
My spelling ability, or rather the lack thereof, is one of the wonders
of the modern world.
%
Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars
has to be the HP-48 series of calculators.  They'll run almost
anything.  And if they can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into
the serial port and load up the HP-48 VT-100 emulator.
 -- Jeff Dege, jdege@winternet.com
%
Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
the Ugly).
 -- Matt Welsh
%
CNN/Reuters: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US
forces have swooped on an Iraqi Primary School and detained 6th Grade 
teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested,
Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and
a calculator. US President George W Bush argued that this was clear
and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of math 
instruction.
%
I'd never hurt another living thing.
But if I did...
It would be you.
 -- Chris Bishop  http://www.chrisbishop.com/her/archives/her69.html
%
Our days are precious, but we gladly see them going
If in their place we find a thing more precious growing
A rare, exotic plant, our gardener's heart delighting
A child whom we are teaching, a booklet we are writing
 -- Frederick Rükert _Wisdom of the Brahmans_ 
 [Hermann Hesse _Glass Bead Game_]
%
Of course, there are cases where only a rare individual will have the
vision to perceive a system which governs many people's lives; a
system which had never before even been recognized as a system; then
such people often devote their lives to convincing other people that
the system really is there and that it aught to be exited from. 
 -- Douglas R. Hofstadter _Gödel Escher Bach. Eternal Golden Braid_
%
Fate and Temperament are two words for one and the same concept.
 -- Novalis [Hermann Hesse _Demian_]
%
[Panama, 1989. The U.S. government called it "Operation Just Cause".]
I think they misspelled this. Shouldn't it be "Operation Just 'Cause"?
 -- TekPolitik http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=59669&cid=5664907
%
Grimble left his mother in the food store and went to the launderette
and watched the clothes go round. It was a bit like color television
only with less plot.
 -- Clement Freud _Grimble_
%
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good
sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.  
 -- Woody Allen
%
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are
not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is
not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers,
the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a
way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is
humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
 -- Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
%
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
 -- Bill Vaughan
%
A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very
easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over
expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays without
discussion, it ruins itself, and that is an excellent thing for the
syndicates of financiers and manufacturers for whom patriotic terrors
are an abundant source of gain.
 -- Anatole France
%
All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.
 -- Gaius Julius Caesar in "The Conspiracy of Catiline" by Sallust
%
Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
 -- Aesop
%
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for
the people.
 -- Oscar Wilde
%
I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like
to run their own business.  I know men that would make my wife a
better husband than I am; but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to
'em.
 -- The Best of Will Rogers
%
If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its
freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it
values more, it will lose that, too.
 -- W. Somerset Maugham
%
Sentenced to two years hard labor (for sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood
handcuffed in driving rain waiting for transport to prison.  "If this
is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners," he remarked, "she
doesn't deserve to have any."
%
The sheer ponderousness of the panel's opinion [...] refutes its
thesis far more convincingly than anything I might say. The panel's
labored effort to smother the Second Amendment by sheer body weight
has all the grace of a sumo wrestler trying to kill a rattlesnake by
sitting on it---and is just as likely to succeed.
 -- Alex Kozinski, Dissenting in Silveira v. Lockyer
    (CV-00-00411-WBS p5983-4)
%
                    EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOMEN
Don't be teased or humiliated. See their look of surprise when you
step right up to a urinal and use it with a smile. Get Dr. Mary Evers'
EQUAL-NOW Adapter (pat. appld. for) -- purse size, fool proof,
sanitary -- comes in nine lovely, feminine, psychedelic patterns --
requires no fitting, no prescriptions.
 -- Robert A Heinlein _I Will Fear No Evil_ p470.
%
It has always been Debian's philosophy in the past to stick to what
makes sense, regardless of what crack the rest of the universe is
smoking.
 -- Andrew Suffield in 20030403211305.GD29698@doc.ic.ac.uk
%
If I had a letter, sealed it in a locked vault and hid the vault
somewhere in New York. Then told you to read the letter, thats not
security, thats obscurity. If I made a letter, sealed it in a vault,
gave you the blueprints of the vault, the combinations of 1000 other
vaults, access to the best lock smiths in the world, then told you to
read the letter, and you still can't, thats security.
 -- Bruce Schneier
%
Q: What Can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the
Experience of the Past Million Years?
A: Nothing.
 -- Bokonon _The Fourteenth Book of Bokonon_ (Vonnegut _Cats Cradle_)
%
This can't be happening to me. I've got tenure.
 -- James Hynes _Publish and Perish_
%
I now know how retro SCOs OSes are. Riotous, riotous stuff. How they
had the ya-yas to declare Linux an infant OS in need of their IP is
beyond me. Upcoming features? PAM. files larger than 2 gigs. NFS over
TCP. The 80's called, they want their features back.
 -- Compactable Dave http://www3.sympatico.ca/dcarpeneto/sco.html
%
This message brought to you by weapons of mass destruction related
program activities, and the letter G.
%
Identical parts aren't.
 -- Beach's Law
%
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
 -- Tussman's Law
%
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
 -- Lowery's Law
%
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
 -- Peer's Law
%
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved
by brute strength and ignorance.
 -- William's Law
%
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads.
One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness.
The other, to total extinction.
Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
 -- Woody Allen
%
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing
continued to happen.
 -- Douglas Adams
%
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing
that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot
possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to
get at or repair.
 -- Douglas Adams  _Mostly Harmless_
%
<Clint> why the hell does kernel-source-2.6.3 depend on xfree86-common?
<infinity> It... Doesn't?
<Clint> good point
%
"For those who understand, no explanation is necessary.
 For those who do not, none is possible."
%
Frankly, if ignoring inane opinions and noisy people and not flaming
them to crisp is bad behaviour, I have not yet achieved a state of
nirvana.
 -- Manoj Srivastava in 87n04pzhmh.fsf@glaurung.internal.golden-gryphon.com
%
"Because," Fee-5 explained patiently, "I was born in the fifth row.
Any fool would understand that, but against stupidity the very Gods
themselves contend in vain."
 -- Alfred Bester _The Computer Connection_ p19
%
Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves
exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves
only the unanimity of the graveyard.
 -- Justice Roberts in 319 U.S. 624 (1943)
%
The beauty of the DRUNKENNESS subprogram was that you could move your
intoxication level up and down at will, instead of being caught on a
relentless down escalator to bargain basement philosophy and the
parking garage.
 -- Rudy von Bitter _Software_ p124
%
The game of science is, in principle, without end. He who decides one
day that scientific statements do not call for any further test, and
that they can be regarded as finally verified, retires from the game.
 -- Sir Karl Popper _The Logic of Scientific Discovery_ §11
%
[A] theory is falsifiable [(and therefore scientific) only] if the
class of its potential falsifiers is not empty.
 -- Sir Karl Popper _The Logic of Scientific Discovery_ §21
%
I shall require that [a scientific system's] logical form shall be
such that it can be singled out, by means of emperical tests, in a
negative sense: it must be possible for an emperical scientific system
to be refuted by experience.
 -- Sir Karl Popper _Logic of Scientific Discovery_ §6
%
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was, of course,
completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death
for free.
 -- Terry Pratchet _Pyramids_ p25
%
"The trouble with you, Ibid" he said, "is that you think you're the
biggest bloody authority on everything"
 -- Terry Pratchet _Pyramids_ p146
%
He was wrong. Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them
neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a
lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and
the chuck keys for electric drills.
 -- Terry Pratchet _Pyramids_ p166
%
Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but
that's not why we do it.
 -- Richard Feynman
%
Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you. If you don't
bet, you can't win.
 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p240
%
Cheop's Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p242
%
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p244
%
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p250
%
There is no such thing as "social gambling." Either you are there to
cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it--or you're a sucker. If you
don't like this choice--don't gamble.
 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p250
%
Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p251
%
In all matters of government, the correct answer is usually: "Do
nothing"
 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p428
%
Where I sleep at night, is this important compared to what I read
during the day? What do you think defines me? Where I slept or what I
did all day?
 -- Thomas Van Orden of Van Orden v. Perry
%
No amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free
[...] You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.
 -- Robert Heinlein _Revolt in 2010_ p54
%
"Facts" are the refuge of people unwilling to reassess what they hold
to be "True".
%
LEADERSHIP -- A form of self-preservation exhibited by people with
autodestructive imaginations in order to ensure that when it comes to
the crunch it'll be someone else's bones which go crack and not their
own. 
 -- The HipCrime Vocab by Chad C. Mulligan 
    (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p256-7)
%
"I'm a rational being--of a sort--rational enough, at least, to see the
symptoms of insanity around me. And I'm human, the same as the people
I think of as victims when my guard drops. It's at least possible I'm
even crazier than my fellows, whom I'm tempted to pity.
"There seems only one thing to do, and that's get drunk"
 -- Chad C. Mulligan (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p390)
%
"You have many years to live--do things you will be proud to remember
when you are old."
 -- Shinka proverb. (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p413)
%
If you find it impossible to believe that the universe didn't have a
creator, why don't you find it impossible that your creator didn't
have one either?
 -- Anonymous Coward http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=167556&cid=13970629
%
Information wants to be free to kill again.
 -- Red Robot http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1372
%
NASCAR is a Yankee conspiracy to keep you all placated so the South
won't rise again.
 -- http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=327
%
Leukocyte... I am your father.
 -- R. Stevens http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1546
%
Your village called.
They want their idiot back.
 -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/c23.html
%
S: Make me a sandwich
B: What? Make it yourself.
S: sudo make me a sandwich
B: Okay.
 -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/c149.html
%
We cast this message into the cosmos. [...] We are trying to survive
our time so we may live into yours. We hope some day, having solved
the problems we face, to join a community of Galactic Civilizations.
This record represents our hope and our determination and our goodwill
in a vast and awesome universe.
 -- Jimmy Carter on the Voyager Golden Record
%
Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing, after they
have exhausted all other possibilities.
 -- W. Churchill
%
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both
instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly
unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware
of change in the air -- however slight -- lest we become unwitting
victims of the darkness.
 -- William O. Douglas
%
One day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back
in time.
 -- Steven Wright
%
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.
 -- Steven Wright
%
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
 -- Steven Wright
%
I'm wrong to criticize the valor of your brave men. It's important to
die for one's country when it means being the subject of a king who
wears a ruffled collar or a pleated one.
 -- Cyrano de Bergerac
%
Democracy is more dangerous than fire. Fire can't vote itself immune
to water.
 -- Michael Z. Williamson
%
A Democracy lead by politicians and political parties, fails.
%
We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die
together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to
live together we have to talk. 
 -- Eleanor Roosevelt
%
A Bill of Rights that means what the majority wants it to mean is worthless. 
 -- U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia
%
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you really want to test his
character, give him power.
 -- Abraham Lincoln
%
When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one
by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
 -- Edmund Burke "Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents"
%
Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the
rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct
these defects".
 -- Mark Twain _A Horse's Tail_
%
No matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this
does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.
 -- Sir Karl Popper _Logic of Scientific Discovery_
%
The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of
the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the
benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any
curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation.
 -- Adolf Hitler _Mein Kampf_ p403
%
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended
up where I needed to be.
 -- Douglas Adams _The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul_
%
Mozart tells us what it's like to be human, Beethoven tells us what
it's like to be Beethoven, and Bach tells us what it's like to be the
universe.
 -- Douglas Adams
%
PowerPoint is symptomatic of a certain type of bureaucratic
environment: one typified by interminable presentations with lots of
fussy little bullet-points and flashy dissolves and soundtracks masked
into the background, to try to convince the audience that the goon
behind the computer has something significant to say.
 -- Charles Stross _The Jennifer Morgue_ p33
%
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic
 -- Terry Pratchett
%
Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or
derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But
the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer
to achieve immortality by not dying.
 -- Terry Pratchet _The Color of Magic_
%
Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their
faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord
Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a
12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges.
 -- Terry Pratchet _Mort_
%
He no longer wished to be dead. At the same time, it cannot be said
that he was glad to be alive. But at least he did not resent it. He
was alive, and the stubbornness of this fact had little by little
begun to fascinate him -- as if he had managed to outlive himself, as
if he were somehow living a posthumous life.
 -- Paul Auster _City of Glass_
%
I really wanted to talk to her.
I just couldn't find an algorithm that fit.
 -- Peter Watts _Blindsight_ p294
%
Everyone has to die. And in a hundred years nobody's going to inquire
just how most people died. The best thing is to do it in the way that
strikes your fancy most.
 -- Kenzaburō Ōe _Silent Cry_ p5
%
I learned really early the difference between knowing the name of
something and knowing something
 -- Richard Feynman "What is Science" Phys. Teach. 7(6) 1969
%
Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. The first principle
is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to
fool.
 -- Richard Feynman "What is and What Should be the Role of Scientific
    Culture in Modern Society"; 1964
%
To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an
authority myself
 -- Albert Einstein
%
The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other
invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila
 -- Mitch Ratcliffe
%
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that
you do it.
 -- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
%
You could say to the Universe this is not /fair/. And the Universe
would say: Oh it isn't? Sorry.
 -- Terry Pratchett _Soul Music_ p357
%
G: If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?
EB: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and
scatter oneself over a wide area.
 -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4
%
Love is... a complex sequence of neurochemical reactions that makes
people behave like idiots. It's similar to intoxication, but the
hangover's even worse.
 -- J. Jacques _Questionable Content_ #1039
    http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1039
%
Who is thinking this?
I am.
 -- Greg Egan _Diaspora_ p38
%
I have no use for "before and after" pictures.
I can't remember starting, and I'm never done.
 -- a softer world #221
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=221
%
Show me your flowcharts and conceal your tables, and I shall continue
to be mystified. Show me your tables, and I won't usually need your
flowcharts; they'll be obvious.
 -- Fredrick P. Brooks Jr., The Mythical Man Month
%
Religion is religion, however you wrap it, and like Quell says, a
preoccupation with the next world clearly signals an inability to cope
credibly with this one.
 -- Richard K. Morgan "Broken Angels" p65
%
After the first battle of Sto Lat, I formulated a policy which has
stood me in good stead in other battles. It is this: if an enemy has
an impregnable stronghold, see he stays there.
 -- Terry Pratchett _Jingo_ p265
%
Vimes hated and despised the privileges of rank, but they had this to
be said for them: At least they meant that you could hate and despise
them in comfort.
 -- Terry Pratchett _The Fifth Elephant_ p111
%
J.W. Grant: "Bastard!"
Rico: "Yes, Sir. In my case, an accident of birth. But you, Sir,
you're a self-made man."
 -- Henry "Rico" Fardan in "The Professionals"
%
"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in
a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from
asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my
mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
 –- Douglas Adams _The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy_
%
a friend will help you move
a best friend will help you move bodies
but if you have to move your best friend's body
you're on your own
 -- a softer world #242
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=242
%
It was a very familiar voice. [...] It was a voice you could have used
to open a bottle of whine.
 -- Terry Pratchett _The Last Continent_ p270
%
The carbon footprint of a single human being is enormous.
If you think about it, your honour,
I'm an environmentalist.
 -- a softer world #283
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=283
%
We must realize that today's Establishment is the New George III.
Whether it will continue to adhere to his tactics, we do not know. If
it does, the redress, honored in tradition, is also revolution.
 -- William O. Douglas _Points of Rebellion_
%
"Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak
up for them as have no voices."
 -- Grandma Aching in _The Wee Free Men_ by Terry Pratchett p227
%
But if, after all, we are on the wrong track, what then? Only
dissapointed human hopes, nothing more. And even if we perish, what
will it matter in the endless cycles of eternity?
 -- Fridtjof Nansen _Farthest North_ p152
%
There is no more concentrated form of evil
than apathy.
%
I will not make any deals with you. I've resigned. I will not be
pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My
life is my own. I resign.
 -- Patrick McGoohan as Number 6 in "The Prisoner"
%
Where am I? THE VILLAGE. What do you want? INFORMATION. Which side are
you on? THAT WOULD BE TELLING. WE WANT INFORMATION. INFORMATION.
INFORMATION. You won't get it! BY HOOK OR BY CROOK, WE WILL. Who are
you? THE NEW NUMBER 2. Who is Number 1? YOU ARE NUMBER 6. I am not a
number! I am a free man! HAHAHAHAHAHA.
 -- Patrick McGoohan as Number 6 with Number 2 in "The Prisoner"
%
Let us chat together a moment, my friend. There are still several
hours until dawn, and I have the whole day to sleep.
 -- Count Orlock in _Nosferatu (1922)_
%
Creativity can be a social contribution, but only in so far
as society is free to use the results. 
 -- Richard M Stallman _GNU Manifesto_
%
"She decided what she wished to happen and then assumed that reality
would bend to her wishes." [...] "Reality doesn't indulge wishes."
 -- Terry Goodkind _Phantom_ p133
%
Judge if you want.
We are all going to die.
I intend to deserve it.
 -- a softer world #421
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=421
%
All my dreams came true.
I just didn't think them through.
 -- a softer world #388
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=388
%
You think to yourself, hey, it's a test tube, for God's sake. Pretty
soon, though, the rush from a test tube isn't enough. You want to
experiment more and more. Then before you know it, you're laying in
the corner of a lab somewhere with a Soxhlet apparatus in one hand,
a three neck flask in the other, strung out and begging for grant
money.
 -- Tim Mitchell, 1994 Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize Speech
%
The smallest quantity of bread that can be sliced and toasted has yet
to be experimentally determined. In the quantum limit we must
necessarily encounter fundamental toast particles which the author
will unflinchingly designate here as "croutons".
 -- Cser, Jim. Nanotechnology and the Physical Limits of Toastability.
    AIR 1:3, June, 1995.
%
[The] JK-88 [coffee] percolator is capable of acheiving the ultimate
balance of aroma and density, aftertaste and emollience, pentosans and
tannins. The next step is to reduce the cost of the HPLC-E technology
to the point where it can be manufactured for less than the cost of a
Boeing 757.
 -- Charles Stross "Extracts from the Club Diary" in _Toast_ p83-4
%
Something the junk advertisers don't seem to understand: we live in an
information super-saturated world. If I don't want to buy something,
no amount of shouting or propogandizing will budge me; all it will do
is get me annoyed. On the other hand, if I have a need for your
product, I can seek it out in an eyeblink.
 -- Charles Stross "Toast: A Con Report" in _Toast_ p136
%
[On a trip back from collecting grass seeds in tropical bird stomachs
and being thought by the customs agents to be transporting Marijuana.]
"Anyone so square as to tell you they are transporting grass seeds is
bound to be ok"
 -- Peter K. Klopfer _Seeds of Doubt_ Science 134:177 10 April 2009
%
"What, now?"
"Soon equates to good, later to worse, Uagen Zlepe, scholar.
Therefore, immediacy."
  -- Iain M. Banks _Look to Windward_ p 213
%
He quite enjoyed the time by himself in the mornings. The day was too
early to have started going really wrong.
  -- Terry Pratchet _Only You Can Save Mankind_ p133
%
Let me bring you up to speed:
We know nothing.
You are now up to speed.
  -- Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau in _The Pink Panther 2_ (2009)
%
A kiss was mysterious and powerful, fragile and invincible. Like any
spark, a kiss might fizzle into nothing or consume an entire forest.
[...] A kiss could change the entire world.
  -- Scott Westerfeld _The Killing of Worlds_ p336
%
Rule 6: "If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to
enough of it."
  -- Howard Tayler _Schlock Mercenary_  March 13th, 2005
     http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050313.html
%
Rule 30: "A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the
further you'll go."
  -- Howard Tayler _Schlock Mercenary_ March 8th, 2003
     http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20030308.html
%
There is no form of lead-poisoning which more rapidly and thoroughly
pervades the blood and bones and marrow than that which reaches the
young author through mental contact with type metal.
 -- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Tilton 1947 p67)
%
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
 -- Frederick Douglass
%
"That is why I am still tyrant of [Ankh-Morpork]. The way to retain
power, I have always thought, is to ensure the absolute unthinkabilty
of oneself not being there."
 -- Terry Pratchett _Unseen Academicals_ p391
%
listen, what you do in the privacy
of your neighbour's house while they're away
is your own business
 -- a softer world #511
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=511
%
Sometimes I wish I could take back all my mistakes
but then I think
what if my mother could take back hers?
 -- a softer world #498
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=498
%
Clean living is less fun
and you wind up feeling stupid
when you still die.
 -- a softer world #489
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=489
%
If god is always watching over us
who's driving?
 -- a softer world #487
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=487
%
Maybe I did steal your heart
and I am such a perfect criminal
that you never noticed
 -- a softer world #481
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=481
%
Life would be way easier
if I were easier.
 -- a softer world #473
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=473
%
I always thought
violence didn't solve anything
until one day it did.
 -- a softer world #470
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=470
%
With one simple pill
we cured unhappiness
and art
 -- a softer world #437
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=437
%
First you take a drink,
then the drink takes a drink,
then the drink takes you.
 -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
%
It can sometimes happen that a scholar, his task completed, discovers
that he has no one to thank. Never mind. He will invent some debts.
Research without indebtedness is suspect, and somebody must always,
somehow, be thanked.
 -- Umberto Eco "How to Write an Introduction"
%
Let the victors, when they come,
When the forts of folly fall
Find thy body by the wall!
 -- Matthew Arnold
%
unbeingdead isn't beingalive
 -- e.e. cummings "31" _73 Poems_
%
nothing except the impossible shall occur
 -- e.e. cummings "XLII" _1 x 1_
%
-tommorow is our permanent address
and there they'll scarcely find us(if they do,
we'll move away still further:into now
 -- e.e. cummings "XXXIX" _1 x 1_
%
in Just-
spring      when the world is mud-
luscious the little lame baloonman 

whistles       far       and wee 
 -- e.e. cummings "[in Just-]"
%
life's not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis
 -- e.e. cummings "Four VII" _is 5_
%
Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure.
We get very little wisdom from success, you know.
 -- William Saroyan _My Heart's in the Highlands_
%
Given that the odds of a miracle are one in one million, and events
which could be a miracle happen every second, the odds of not seeing a
miracle in a month are less than 8 in 100. Clearly miracles are not
all that miraculous.
%
They say when you embark on a journey
of revenge
dig two graves.
They underestimate me.
 -- a softer world #560
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=560
%
I never meant to let you down.
I thought for sure
the attic lock would hold.
 -- a softer world #562
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=562
%
I made a bunch of stickers
to put on rooftops, and in secret tunnels.
"If you are reading this,
 then you are awesome"
 -- a softer world #569
    http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=569
%
I'm sorry about those late night emails.
I only said those things because I was too drunk
to be afraid.
  -- a softer world #579
     http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=579
%
6: If we are one, then we can defeat 2.
  -- "The Prisoner (2009 Miniseries)" _Schizoid_
%
2: There is no out. There is only in.
  -- "The Prisoner (2009 Miniseries)"