1 What I can't stand is the feeling that my brain is leaving me for
2 someone more interesting.
4 I leave the show floor, but not before a pack of caffeinated Jolt gum
5 is thrust at me by a hyperactive girl screaming, "Chew more! Do more!"
6 The American will to consume more and produce more personified in a
7 stick of gum. I grab it.
10 I never until now realized that the primary job of any emoticon is to
11 say "excuse me, that didn't make any sense." ;-P
14 Il semble que la perfection soit atteinte non quand il n'y a plus rien
15 a ajouter, mais quand il n'y a plus rien a retrancher.
16 (Perfection is apparently not achieved when nothing more can be added,
17 but when nothing else can be removed.)
18 -- Antoine de Saint-Exupe'ry, Terres des Hommes
20 I'd sign up in a hot second for any cellular company whose motto was:
21 "We're less horrible than a root canal with a cold chisel."
24 She was alot like starbucks.
25 IE, generic and expensive.
26 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/001376.html
28 Tell me something interesting about yourself.
30 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/archives/batch20.php
32 We were at a chinese resturant.
33 He was yelling at the waitress because there was a typo in his fortune
35 -- hugh http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000321.html
37 Three little words. (In order of importance.)
42 █████ -- hugh macleod "Three Words"
44 N: Why should I believe that?"
45 B: Because it's a fact."
47 B: F, A, C, T... fact"
48 N: So you're saying that I should believe it because it's true.
51 -- "Ploy" http://www.mediacampaign.org/multimedia/Ploy.MPG
53 UF: What's your favorite coffee blend?
54 PD: Dark Crude with heavy water. You are understandink? "If geiger
55 counter does not click, the coffee, she is just not thick."
57 "There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the
58 right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself."
61 Quite the contrary; they *love* collateral damage. If they can make
62 you miserable enough, maybe you'll stop using email entirely. Once
63 enough people do that, then there'll be no legitimate reason left for
64 anyone to run an SMTP server, and the spam problem will be solved.
65 -- Craig Dickson in <20020909231134.GA18917@linux700.localnet>
67 It seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong
70 Filing a bug is probably not going to get it fixed any faster.
73 Build a fire for a man, an he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on
74 fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
77 Dropping non-free would set us back at least, what, 300 packages? It'd
78 take MONTHS to make up the difference, and meanwhile Debian users will
79 be fleeing to SLACKWARE.
81 And what about SHAREHOLDER VALUE?
82 -- Matt Zimmerman in <gYuD3D.A.ayC.nGB39@murphy>
84 She was alot like starbucks.
85 IE, generic and expensive.
86 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/batch3.htm
88 You could say she lived on the edge... Well, maybe not exactly on the edge,
89 just close enough to watch other people fall off.
90 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000309.html
92 Guns Don't Kill People.
96 -- Maritza Campos http://www.crfh.net/d/20020601.html
98 "One disk to rule them all, One disk to find them. One disk to bring
99 them all and in the darkness grind them. In the Land of Redmond
100 where the shadows lie." -- The Silicon Valley Tarot
102 Miracles had become relative common-places since the advent of
103 entheogens; it now took very unusual circumstances to attract public
104 attention to sightings of supernatural entities. The latest miracle
105 had raised the ante on the supernatural: the Virgin Mary had
106 manifested herself to two children, a dog, and a Public Telepresence
108 -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p228
110 Junkies were all knitted together in a loose global macrame, the
111 intercontinental freemasonry of narcotics.
112 -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p257
114 America was far better suited to be the World's Movie Star. The
115 world's tequila-addled pro-league bowler. The world's acerbic bi-polar
116 stand-up comedian. Anything but a somber and tedious nation of
117 socially responsible centurions.
118 -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p122
120 The attackers hadn't simply robbed the bank. They had carried off
121 everything portable, including the security cameras, the carpets, the
122 chairs, and the light and plumbing fixtures. The conspirators had
123 deliberately punished the bank, for reasons best known to themselves,
124 or to their unknown controllers. They had superglued doors and
125 shattered windows, severed power and communications cables, poured
126 stinking toxins into the wallspaces, and concreted all of the sinks
127 and drains. In eight minutes, sixty people had ruined the building so
128 thoroughly that it had to be condemned and later demolished.
129 -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p4
131 Of course Pacman didn't influence us as kids. If it did, we'd be
132 running around in darkened rooms, popping pills and listening to
135 "It's not Hollywood. War is real, war is primarily not about defeat or
136 victory, it is about death. I've seen thousands and thousands of dead
137 bodies. Do you think I want to have an academic debate on this
141 THERE IS NO GRAVITY THE WORLD SUCKS
142 -- Vietnam War Penquin Lighter
143 http://gallery.donarmstrong.com/clippings/vietnam_there_is_no_gravity.jpg
145 Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
148 If you have the slightest bit of intellectual integrity you cannot
149 support the government. -- anonymous
151 Debian's not really about the users or the software at all. It's a
152 large flame-generating engine that the cabal uses to heat their coffee
153 -- Andrew Suffield (#debian-devel Fri, 14 Feb 2003 14:34 -0500)
155 "I was thinking seven figures," he said, "but I would have taken a
156 hundred grand. I'm not a greedy person." [All for a moldy bottle of
158 -- Sammi Hadzovic [in Andy Newman's 2003/02/14 NYT article.]
159 http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/14/nyregion/14EYEB.html
161 [T]he question of whether Machines Can Think, [...] is about as
162 relevant as the question of whether Submarines Can Swim.
163 -- Edsger W. Dijkstra "The threats to computing science"
165 "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
166 We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
167 -- Jeremy S. Anderson
169 "A one-question geek test. If you get the joke, you're a geek: Seen on
170 a California license plate on a VW Beetle: 'FEATURE'..."
171 -- Joshua D. Wachs - Natural Intelligence, Inc.
173 "Ban cryptography! Yes. Let's also ban pencils, pens and paper, since
174 criminals can use them to draw plans of the joint they are casing or
175 even, god forbid, create one time pads to pass uncrackable codes to
176 each other. Ban open spaces since criminals could use them to converse
177 with each other out of earshot of the police. Let's ban flags since
178 they could be used to pass secret messages in semaphore. In fact let's
179 just ban all forms of verbal and non-verbal communication -- let's see
180 those criminals make plans now!"
182 "There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user
183 off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their
184 REAL earnings to the IRS."
187 When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I
188 realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked
192 "People selling drug paraphernalia ... are as much a part of drug
193 trafficking as silencers are a part of criminal homicide."
194 -- John Brown, DEA Chief
196 Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
200 If you wish to strive for peace of soul, then believe; if you wish to
201 be a devotee of truth, then inquire.
202 -- Friedrich Nietzsche
204 My spelling ability, or rather the lack thereof, is one of the wonders
207 Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars
208 has to be the HP-48 series of calculators. They'll run almost
209 anything. And if they can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into
210 the serial port and load up the HP-48 VT-100 emulator.
211 -- Jeff Dege, jdege@winternet.com
213 Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
217 CNN/Reuters: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US
218 forces have swooped on an Iraqi Primary School and detained 6th Grade
219 teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested,
220 Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and
221 a calculator. US President George W Bush argued that this was clear
222 and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of math
225 I'd never hurt another living thing.
228 -- Chris Bishop http://www.chrisbishop.com/her/archives/her69.html
230 Our days are precious, but we gladly see them going
231 If in their place we find a thing more precious growing
232 A rare, exotic plant, our gardener's heart delighting
233 A child whom we are teaching, a booklet we are writing
234 -- Frederick Rükert _Wisdom of the Brahmans_
235 [Hermann Hesse _Glass Bead Game_]
237 Of course, there are cases where only a rare individual will have the
238 vision to perceive a system which governs many people's lives; a
239 system which had never before even been recognized as a system; then
240 such people often devote their lives to convincing other people that
241 the system really is there and that it aught to be exited from.
242 -- Douglas R. Hofstadter _Gödel Escher Bach. Eternal Golden Braid_
244 Fate and Temperament are two words for one and the same concept.
245 -- Novalis [Hermann Hesse _Demian_]
247 [Panama, 1989. The U.S. government called it "Operation Just Cause".]
248 I think they misspelled this. Shouldn't it be "Operation Just 'Cause"?
249 -- TekPolitik http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=59669&cid=5664907
251 Grimble left his mother in the food store and went to the launderette
252 and watched the clothes go round. It was a bit like color television
254 -- Clement Freud _Grimble_
256 There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good
257 sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
260 Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
261 signifies [...] a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those
262 who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending
263 money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of
264 its scientists, the hopes of its children. [...] This is not a way of
265 life at all in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it
266 is humanity hanging from a cross of iron. [...] [I]s there no other
267 way the world may live?
268 -- President Dwight D. Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
270 A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
271 won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
274 A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very
275 easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over
276 expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays without
277 discussion, it ruins itself, and that is an excellent thing for the
278 syndicates of financiers and manufacturers for whom patriotic terrors
279 are an abundant source of gain.
282 All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.
283 -- Gaius Julius Caesar in "The Conspiracy of Catiline" by Sallust
285 Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
288 Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for
292 I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like
293 to run their own business. I know men that would make my wife a
294 better husband than I am; but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to
296 -- The Best of Will Rogers
298 If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its
299 freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it
300 values more, it will lose that, too.
301 -- W. Somerset Maugham
303 Sentenced to two years hard labor (for sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood
304 handcuffed in driving rain waiting for transport to prison. "If this
305 is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners," he remarked, "she
306 doesn't deserve to have any."
308 The sheer ponderousness of the panel's opinion [...] refutes its
309 thesis far more convincingly than anything I might say. The panel's
310 labored effort to smother the Second Amendment by sheer body weight
311 has all the grace of a sumo wrestler trying to kill a rattlesnake by
312 sitting on it---and is just as likely to succeed.
313 -- Alex Kozinski, Dissenting in Silveira v. Lockyer
314 (CV-00-00411-WBS p5983-4)
316 EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOMEN
317 Don't be teased or humiliated. See their look of surprise when you
318 step right up to a urinal and use it with a smile. Get Dr. Mary Evers'
319 EQUAL-NOW Adapter (pat. appld. for) -- purse size, fool proof,
320 sanitary -- comes in nine lovely, feminine, psychedelic patterns --
321 requires no fitting, no prescriptions.
322 -- Robert A Heinlein _I Will Fear No Evil_ p470.
324 It has always been Debian's philosophy in the past to stick to what
325 makes sense, regardless of what crack the rest of the universe is
327 -- Andrew Suffield in 20030403211305.GD29698@doc.ic.ac.uk
329 If I had a letter, sealed it in a locked vault and hid the vault
330 somewhere in New York. Then told you to read the letter, thats not
331 security, thats obscurity. If I made a letter, sealed it in a vault,
332 gave you the blueprints of the vault, the combinations of 1000 other
333 vaults, access to the best lock smiths in the world, then told you to
334 read the letter, and you still can't, thats security.
337 Q: What Can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the
338 Experience of the Past Million Years?
340 -- Bokonon _The Fourteenth Book of Bokonon_ (Vonnegut _Cats Cradle_)
342 This can't be happening to me. I've got tenure.
343 -- James Hynes _Publish and Perish_
345 I now know how retro SCOs OSes are. Riotous, riotous stuff. How they
346 had the ya-yas to declare Linux an infant OS in need of their IP is
347 beyond me. Upcoming features? PAM. files larger than 2 gigs. NFS over
348 TCP. The 80's called, they want their features back.
349 -- Compactable Dave http://www3.sympatico.ca/dcarpeneto/sco.html
351 This message brought to you by weapons of mass destruction related
352 program activities, and the letter G.
354 Identical parts aren't.
357 Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
360 If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
363 The solution to a problem changes the problem.
366 There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved
367 by brute strength and ignorance.
370 More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads.
371 One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness.
372 The other, to total extinction.
373 Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
376 For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing
380 The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing
381 that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot
382 possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to
384 -- Douglas Adams _Mostly Harmless_
386 <Clint> why the hell does kernel-source-2.6.3 depend on xfree86-common?
387 <infinity> It... Doesn't?
390 "For those who understand, no explanation is necessary.
391 For those who do not, none is possible."
393 Frankly, if ignoring inane opinions and noisy people and not flaming
394 them to crisp is bad behaviour, I have not yet achieved a state of
396 -- Manoj Srivastava in 87n04pzhmh.fsf@glaurung.internal.golden-gryphon.com
398 "Because," Fee-5 explained patiently, "I was born in the fifth row.
399 Any fool would understand that, but against stupidity the very Gods
400 themselves contend in vain."
401 -- Alfred Bester _The Computer Connection_ p19
403 Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves
404 exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves
405 only the unanimity of the graveyard.
406 -- Justice Roberts in 319 U.S. 624 (1943)
408 The beauty of the DRUNKENNESS subprogram was that you could move your
409 intoxication level up and down at will, instead of being caught on a
410 relentless down escalator to bargain basement philosophy and the
412 -- Rudy von Bitter _Software_ p124
414 The game of science is, in principle, without end. He who decides one
415 day that scientific statements do not call for any further test, and
416 that they can be regarded as finally verified, retires from the game.
417 -- Sir Karl Popper _The Logic of Scientific Discovery_ §11
419 [A] theory is falsifiable [(and therefore scientific) only] if the
420 class of its potential falsifiers is not empty.
421 -- Sir Karl Popper _The Logic of Scientific Discovery_ §21
423 I shall require that [a scientific system's] logical form shall be
424 such that it can be singled out, by means of emperical tests, in a
425 negative sense: it must be possible for an emperical scientific system
426 to be refuted by experience.
427 -- Sir Karl Popper _Logic of Scientific Discovery_ §6
429 It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was, of course,
430 completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death
432 -- Terry Pratchet _Pyramids_ p25
434 "The trouble with you, Ibid" he said, "is that you think you're the
435 biggest bloody authority on everything"
436 -- Terry Pratchet _Pyramids_ p146
438 He was wrong. Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them
439 neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a
440 lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and
441 the chuck keys for electric drills.
442 -- Terry Pratchet _Pyramids_ p166
444 Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but
445 that's not why we do it.
448 Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you. If you don't
450 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p240
452 Cheop's Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
453 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p242
455 An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
456 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p244
458 Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
459 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p250
461 There is no such thing as "social gambling." Either you are there to
462 cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it--or you're a sucker. If you
463 don't like this choice--don't gamble.
464 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p250
466 Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
467 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p251
469 In all matters of government, the correct answer is usually: "Do
471 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p428
473 Where I sleep at night, is this important compared to what I read
474 during the day? What do you think defines me? Where I slept or what I
476 -- Thomas Van Orden of Van Orden v. Perry
478 No amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free
479 [...] You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.
480 -- Robert Heinlein _Revolt in 2010_ p54
482 "Facts" are the refuge of people unwilling to reassess what they hold
485 LEADERSHIP -- A form of self-preservation exhibited by people with
486 autodestructive imaginations in order to ensure that when it comes to
487 the crunch it'll be someone else's bones which go crack and not their
489 -- The HipCrime Vocab by Chad C. Mulligan
490 (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p256-7)
492 "I'm a rational being--of a sort--rational enough, at least, to see the
493 symptoms of insanity around me. And I'm human, the same as the people
494 I think of as victims when my guard drops. It's at least possible I'm
495 even crazier than my fellows, whom I'm tempted to pity.
496 "There seems only one thing to do, and that's get drunk"
497 -- Chad C. Mulligan (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p390)
499 "You have many years to live--do things you will be proud to remember
501 -- Shinka proverb. (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p413)
503 If you find it impossible to believe that the universe didn't have a
504 creator, why don't you find it impossible that your creator didn't
506 -- Anonymous Coward http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=167556&cid=13970629
508 Information wants to be free to kill again.
509 -- Red Robot http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1372
511 NASCAR is a Yankee conspiracy to keep you all placated so the South
513 -- http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=327
515 Leukocyte... I am your father.
516 -- R. Stevens http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1546
519 They want their idiot back.
520 -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/c23.html
522 S: Make me a sandwich
523 B: What? Make it yourself.
524 S: sudo make me a sandwich
526 -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/c149.html
528 We cast this message into the cosmos. [...] We are trying to survive
529 our time so we may live into yours. We hope some day, having solved
530 the problems we face, to join a community of Galactic Civilizations.
531 This record represents our hope and our determination and our goodwill
532 in a vast and awesome universe.
533 -- Jimmy Carter on the Voyager Golden Record
535 Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing, after they
536 have exhausted all other possibilities.
539 As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both
540 instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly
541 unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware
542 of change in the air -- however slight -- lest we become unwitting
543 victims of the darkness.
544 -- William O. Douglas
546 One day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back
550 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
554 If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
558 I'm wrong to criticize the valor of your brave men. It's important to
559 die for one's country when it means being the subject of a king who
560 wears a ruffled collar or a pleated one.
561 -- Cyrano de Bergerac
563 Democracy is more dangerous than fire. Fire can't vote itself immune
565 -- Michael Z. Williamson
567 A Democracy lead by politicians and political parties, fails.
569 We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die
570 together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to
571 live together we have to talk.
574 A Bill of Rights that means what the majority wants it to mean is worthless.
575 -- U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia
577 Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you really want to test his
578 character, give him power.
581 When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one
582 by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
583 -- Edmund Burke "Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents"
585 Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the
586 rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct
588 -- Mark Twain _A Horse's Tail_
590 No matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this
591 does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.
592 -- Sir Karl Popper _Logic of Scientific Discovery_
594 The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of
595 the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the
596 benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any
597 curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation.
598 -- Adolf Hitler _Mein Kampf_ p403
600 I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended
601 up where I needed to be.
602 -- Douglas Adams _The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul_
604 Mozart tells us what it's like to be human, Beethoven tells us what
605 it's like to be Beethoven, and Bach tells us what it's like to be the
609 PowerPoint is symptomatic of a certain type of bureaucratic
610 environment: one typified by interminable presentations with lots of
611 fussy little bullet-points and flashy dissolves and soundtracks masked
612 into the background, to try to convince the audience that the goon
613 behind the computer has something significant to say.
614 -- Charles Stross _The Jennifer Morgue_ p33
616 This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic
619 Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or
620 derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But
621 the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer
622 to achieve immortality by not dying.
623 -- Terry Pratchet _The Color of Magic_
625 Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their
626 faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord
627 Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a
628 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges.
629 -- Terry Pratchet _Mort_
631 He no longer wished to be dead. At the same time, it cannot be said
632 that he was glad to be alive. But at least he did not resent it. He
633 was alive, and the stubbornness of this fact had little by little
634 begun to fascinate him -- as if he had managed to outlive himself, as
635 if he were somehow living a posthumous life.
636 -- Paul Auster _City of Glass_
638 I really wanted to talk to her.
639 I just couldn't find an algorithm that fit.
640 -- Peter Watts _Blindsight_ p294
642 Everyone has to die. And in a hundred years nobody's going to inquire
643 just how most people died. The best thing is to do it in the way that
644 strikes your fancy most.
645 -- Kenzaburō Ōe _Silent Cry_ p5
647 I learned really early the difference between knowing the name of
648 something and knowing something
649 -- Richard Feynman "What is Science" Phys. Teach. 7(6) 1969
651 Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. The first principle
652 is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to
654 -- Richard Feynman "What is and What Should be the Role of Scientific
655 Culture in Modern Society"; 1964
657 To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an
661 The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other
662 invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila
665 Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that
667 -- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
669 You could say to the Universe this is not /fair/. And the Universe
670 would say: Oh it isn't? Sorry.
671 -- Terry Pratchett _Soul Music_ p357
673 G: If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?
674 EB: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and
675 scatter oneself over a wide area.
676 -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4
678 Love is... a complex sequence of neurochemical reactions that makes
679 people behave like idiots. It's similar to intoxication, but the
680 hangover's even worse.
681 -- J. Jacques _Questionable Content_ #1039
682 http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1039
684 Who is thinking this?
686 -- Greg Egan _Diaspora_ p38
688 I have no use for "before and after" pictures.
689 I can't remember starting, and I'm never done.
690 -- a softer world #221
691 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=221
693 Show me your flowcharts and conceal your tables, and I shall continue
694 to be mystified. Show me your tables, and I won't usually need your
695 flowcharts; they'll be obvious.
696 -- Fredrick P. Brooks Jr., The Mythical Man Month
698 Religion is religion, however you wrap it, and like Quell says, a
699 preoccupation with the next world clearly signals an inability to cope
700 credibly with this one.
701 -- Richard K. Morgan "Broken Angels" p65
703 After the first battle of Sto Lat, I formulated a policy which has
704 stood me in good stead in other battles. It is this: if an enemy has
705 an impregnable stronghold, see he stays there.
706 -- Terry Pratchett _Jingo_ p265
708 Vimes hated and despised the privileges of rank, but they had this to
709 be said for them: At least they meant that you could hate and despise
711 -- Terry Pratchett _The Fifth Elephant_ p111
713 J.W. Grant: "Bastard!"
714 Rico: "Yes, Sir. In my case, an accident of birth. But you, Sir,
715 you're a self-made man."
716 -- Henry "Rico" Fardan in "The Professionals"
718 "You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in
719 a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from
720 asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my
721 mother told me when I was young."
722 "Why, what did she tell you?"
723 "I don't know, I didn't listen."
724 –- Douglas Adams _The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy_
726 a friend will help you move
727 a best friend will help you move bodies
728 but if you have to move your best friend's body
730 -- a softer world #242
731 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=242
733 It was a very familiar voice. [...] It was a voice you could have used
734 to open a bottle of whine.
735 -- Terry Pratchett _The Last Continent_ p270
737 The carbon footprint of a single human being is enormous.
738 If you think about it, your honour,
739 I'm an environmentalist.
740 -- a softer world #283
741 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=283
743 We must realize that today's Establishment is the New George III.
744 Whether it will continue to adhere to his tactics, we do not know. If
745 it does, the redress, honored in tradition, is also revolution.
746 -- William O. Douglas _Points of Rebellion_
748 "Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak
749 up for them as have no voices."
750 -- Grandma Aching in _The Wee Free Men_ by Terry Pratchett p227
752 But if, after all, we are on the wrong track, what then? Only
753 dissapointed human hopes, nothing more. And even if we perish, what
754 will it matter in the endless cycles of eternity?
755 -- Fridtjof Nansen _Farthest North_ p152
757 There is no more concentrated form of evil
760 I will not make any deals with you. I've resigned. I will not be
761 pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My
762 life is my own. I resign.
763 -- Patrick McGoohan as Number 6 in "The Prisoner"
765 Where am I? THE VILLAGE. What do you want? INFORMATION. Which side are
766 you on? THAT WOULD BE TELLING. WE WANT INFORMATION. INFORMATION.
767 INFORMATION. You won't get it! BY HOOK OR BY CROOK, WE WILL. Who are
768 you? THE NEW NUMBER 2. Who is Number 1? YOU ARE NUMBER 6. I am not a
769 number! I am a free man! HAHAHAHAHAHA.
770 -- Patrick McGoohan as Number 6 with Number 2 in "The Prisoner"
772 Let us chat together a moment, my friend. There are still several
773 hours until dawn, and I have the whole day to sleep.
774 -- Count Orlock in _Nosferatu (1922)_
776 Creativity can be a social contribution, but only in so far
777 as society is free to use the results.
778 -- Richard M Stallman _GNU Manifesto_
780 "She decided what she wished to happen and then assumed that reality
781 would bend to her wishes." [...] "Reality doesn't indulge wishes."
782 -- Terry Goodkind _Phantom_ p133
785 We are all going to die.
786 I intend to deserve it.
787 -- a softer world #421
788 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=421
790 All my dreams came true.
791 I just didn't think them through.
792 -- a softer world #388
793 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=388
795 You think to yourself, hey, it's a test tube, for God's sake. Pretty
796 soon, though, the rush from a test tube isn't enough. You want to
797 experiment more and more. Then before you know it, you're laying in
798 the corner of a lab somewhere with a Soxhlet apparatus in one hand,
799 a three neck flask in the other, strung out and begging for grant
801 -- Tim Mitchell, 1994 Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize Speech
803 The smallest quantity of bread that can be sliced and toasted has yet
804 to be experimentally determined. In the quantum limit we must
805 necessarily encounter fundamental toast particles which the author
806 will unflinchingly designate here as "croutons".
807 -- Cser, Jim. Nanotechnology and the Physical Limits of Toastability.
810 [The] JK-88 [coffee] percolator is capable of acheiving the ultimate
811 balance of aroma and density, aftertaste and emollience, pentosans and
812 tannins. The next step is to reduce the cost of the HPLC-E technology
813 to the point where it can be manufactured for less than the cost of a
815 -- Charles Stross "Extracts from the Club Diary" in _Toast_ p83-4
817 Something the junk advertisers don't seem to understand: we live in an
818 information super-saturated world. If I don't want to buy something,
819 no amount of shouting or propogandizing will budge me; all it will do
820 is get me annoyed. On the other hand, if I have a need for your
821 product, I can seek it out in an eyeblink.
822 -- Charles Stross "Toast: A Con Report" in _Toast_ p136
824 [On a trip back from collecting grass seeds in tropical bird stomachs
825 and being thought by the customs agents to be transporting Marijuana.]
826 "Anyone so square as to tell you they are transporting grass seeds is
828 -- Peter K. Klopfer _Seeds of Doubt_ Science 134:177 10 April 2009
831 "Soon equates to good, later to worse, Uagen Zlepe, scholar.
832 Therefore, immediacy."
833 -- Iain M. Banks _Look to Windward_ p 213
835 He quite enjoyed the time by himself in the mornings. The day was too
836 early to have started going really wrong.
837 -- Terry Pratchet _Only You Can Save Mankind_ p133
839 Let me bring you up to speed:
841 You are now up to speed.
842 -- Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau in _The Pink Panther 2_ (2009)
844 A kiss was mysterious and powerful, fragile and invincible. Like any
845 spark, a kiss might fizzle into nothing or consume an entire forest.
846 [...] A kiss could change the entire world.
847 -- Scott Westerfeld _The Killing of Worlds_ p336
849 Rule 6: "If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to
851 -- Howard Tayler _Schlock Mercenary_ March 13th, 2005
852 http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050313.html
854 Rule 30: "A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the
856 -- Howard Tayler _Schlock Mercenary_ March 8th, 2003
857 http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20030308.html
859 There is no form of lead-poisoning which more rapidly and thoroughly
860 pervades the blood and bones and marrow than that which reaches the
861 young author through mental contact with type metal.
862 -- Oliver Wendell Holmes (Tilton 1947 p67)
864 It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
865 -- Frederick Douglass
867 "That is why I am still tyrant of [Ankh-Morpork]. The way to retain
868 power, I have always thought, is to ensure the absolute unthinkabilty
869 of oneself not being there."
870 -- Terry Pratchett _Unseen Academicals_ p391
872 listen, what you do in the privacy
873 of your neighbour's house while they're away
875 -- a softer world #511
876 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=511
878 Sometimes I wish I could take back all my mistakes
880 what if my mother could take back hers?
881 -- a softer world #498
882 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=498
884 Clean living is less fun
885 and you wind up feeling stupid
887 -- a softer world #489
888 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=489
890 If god is always watching over us
892 -- a softer world #487
893 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=487
895 Maybe I did steal your heart
896 and I am such a perfect criminal
897 that you never noticed
898 -- a softer world #481
899 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=481
901 Life would be way easier
903 -- a softer world #473
904 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=473
907 violence didn't solve anything
908 until one day it did.
909 -- a softer world #470
910 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=470
915 -- a softer world #437
916 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=437
918 First you take a drink,
919 then the drink takes a drink,
920 then the drink takes you.
921 -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
923 It can sometimes happen that a scholar, his task completed, discovers
924 that he has no one to thank. Never mind. He will invent some debts.
925 Research without indebtedness is suspect, and somebody must always,
927 -- Umberto Eco "How to Write an Introduction"
929 Let the victors, when they come,
930 When the forts of folly fall
931 Find thy body by the wall!
934 unbeingdead isn't beingalive
935 -- e.e. cummings "31" _73 Poems_
937 nothing except the impossible shall occur
938 -- e.e. cummings "XLII" _1 x 1_
940 -tommorow is our permanent address
941 and there they'll scarcely find us(if they do,
942 we'll move away still further:into now
943 -- e.e. cummings "XXXIX" _1 x 1_
946 spring when the world is mud-
947 luscious the little lame baloonman
950 -- e.e. cummings "[in Just-]"
952 life's not a paragraph
953 And death i think is no parenthesis
954 -- e.e. cummings "Four VII" _is 5_
956 Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure.
957 We get very little wisdom from success, you know.
958 -- William Saroyan _My Heart's in the Highlands_
960 Given that the odds of a miracle are one in one million, and events
961 which could be a miracle happen every second, the odds of not seeing a
962 miracle in a month are less than 8 in 100. Clearly miracles are not
965 They say when you embark on a journey
968 They underestimate me.
969 -- a softer world #560
970 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=560
972 I never meant to let you down.
974 the attic lock would hold.
975 -- a softer world #562
976 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=562
978 I made a bunch of stickers
979 to put on rooftops, and in secret tunnels.
980 "If you are reading this,
981 then you are awesome"
982 -- a softer world #569
983 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=569
985 I'm sorry about those late night emails.
986 I only said those things because I was too drunk
988 -- a softer world #579
989 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=579
991 6: If we are one, then we can defeat 2.
992 -- "The Prisoner (2009 Miniseries)" _Schizoid_
994 2: There is no out. There is only in.
995 -- "The Prisoner (2009 Miniseries)"
997 6: I'm human. I have a thousand flaws. I break down. I get up or I
998 don't get up. I get lost. I make the same mistakes over and over. I
999 have scars and wounds. Sometimes when I can't bear them anymore, I
1000 drink. You can't fix me. You can't fix any of us. You can't make us
1002 -- "The Prisoner (2009 Miniseries)" _Checkmate_
1004 We want 6. 6 is the 1.
1005 -- "The Prisoner (2009 Miniseries)" _Checkmate_
1007 I've had so much good luck recently I was getting sated with it. It's
1008 like sugar, good luck. At first it's very sweet, but after a while you
1009 start to think: any more of this and I shall be sick.
1010 -- Adam Roberts _Yellow Blue Tibia_ p301
1013 Because I am powerless
1014 To amend a broken world.
1015 -- Guy Gavriel Kay _Under Heaven_ p295
1017 What prison taught me was that some people are born into a life where
1018 they're going to be subjected to intense life experiences and personal
1019 tragedy on an almost daily basis. [...] I don't think you get
1020 enlightenment after something like that. I think all anyone really
1021 wants, if they're honest with themselves, is a quiet, easy life
1022 surrounded by people that love them. Anything else is conceit[ed].
1025 Overcast nights are beautiful; the sun, mostly set, a near full moon
1026 partially risen, light pollution from the city, and the sky delicately
1027 purpleorangegray, as if it were a livid bruise.
1029 The terrorist's job is to terrorize the people, to interfere with
1030 freedom in such a way that disrupts ordinary life and commerce. With
1031 due respect, it is clear that the above referenced governmental
1032 agencies are aiding the terrorists' objective.
1033 -- Gary Fielder in Gary Fielder vs Janet Napolitano et al.
1035 [C]haos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought.
1036 It always defeats order, because it is better organized.
1037 -- Terry Pratchett _Interesting Times_ p4
1039 Your absence has gone through me
1040 Like thread through a needle.
1041 Everything I do is stitched with its color.
1042 -- W. S. Merwin "Poetry in Motion" p107
1044 Logs drowse in the pond
1045 Dreaming of their heroes
1046 Alligator and crocodile
1047 -- Vern Rutsala "Poetry in Motion" p77
1049 Once, our bodies were bells:
1050 Simply moving in the wind
1051 We tolled our names.
1052 -- Phillis Levin "Poetry in Motion" p55
1054 It's brief and bright, dear children; bright and brief.
1055 Delight's the lightning; the long thunder's grief.
1056 -- John Frederick Nims "Poetry in Motion" p31
1058 I would like to be the air
1059 that inhabits you for a moment
1060 only. I would like to be that unnoticed
1062 -- Margaret Atwood "Poetry in Motion" p140
1064 I stared at the mountain rising over me. Empty. It was a pointless
1065 thing to have done -- climb up it, across it, and down it. Stupid! It
1066 looked perfect; so clean and untouched, and we had changed nothing.
1067 [...] I had been on it too long, and it had taken everything.
1068 -- Joe Simpson "Touching the Void" p117
1070 Have you ever noticed: the most vocal superpatriots are the old men
1071 who send young men out to die.
1072 -- Harlan Ellison "Basilisk" (_Deathbird Stories_ p73)
1074 "Do you think you might be suffering from post-traumatic stress
1077 -- Walter Jon Williams _This Is Not A Game_ p121
1080 a computer with feelings.
1081 It just doesn't have
1083 -- a softer world #633
1084 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=633
1087 or die and teach by example
1088 -- a softer world #625
1089 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=625
1091 I'm So Meta, Even This Acronym
1092 -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/917/