1 With that he haled me before the wali and I tasted an artistic meal
2 of stick, till I fell in a faint.
3 -- The Thousand Nights And One Night (The Tale of Ghānim Ibn Ayyūr)
7 Don't be teased or humiliated. See their look of surprise when you
8 step right up to a urinal and use it with a smile. Get Dr. Mary Evers'
9 EQUAL-NOW Adapter (pat. appld. for) -- purse size, fool proof,
10 sanitary -- comes in nine lovely, feminine, psychedelic patterns --
11 requires no fitting, no prescriptions.
12 -- Robert A Heinlein _I Will Fear No Evil_ p470.
14 She was alot like starbucks.
15 IE, generic and expensive.
16 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/001376.html
18 Guns Don't Kill People.
22 -- Maritza Campos http://www.crfh.net/d/20020601.html
24 "I was thinking seven figures," he said, "but I would have taken a
25 hundred grand. I'm not a greedy person." [All for a moldy bottle of
27 -- Sammi Hadzovic [in Andy Newman's 2003/02/14 NYT article.]
28 http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/14/nyregion/14EYEB.html
30 CNN/Reuters: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US
31 forces have swooped on an Iraqi Primary School and detained 6th Grade
32 teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested,
33 Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and
34 a calculator. US President George W Bush argued that this was clear
35 and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of math
38 I'd never hurt another living thing.
41 -- Chris Bishop http://www.chrisbishop.com/her/archives/her69.html
43 [Panama, 1989. The U.S. government called it "Operation Just Cause".]
44 I think they misspelled this. Shouldn't it be "Operation Just 'Cause"?
45 -- TekPolitik http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=59669&cid=5664907
47 Sentenced to two years hard labor (for sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood
48 handcuffed in driving rain waiting for transport to prison. "If this
49 is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners," he remarked, "she
50 doesn't deserve to have any."
52 It has always been Debian's philosophy in the past to stick to what
53 makes sense, regardless of what crack the rest of the universe is
55 -- Andrew Suffield in 20030403211305.GD29698@doc.ic.ac.uk
57 <Clint> why the hell does kernel-source-2.6.3 depend on xfree86-common?
58 <infinity> It... Doesn't?
61 "Facts" are the refuge of people unwilling to reassess what they hold
64 If you find it impossible to believe that the universe didn't have a
65 creator, why don't you find it impossible that your creator didn't
67 -- Anonymous Coward http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=167556&cid=13970629
69 The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of
70 the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the
71 benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any
72 curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation.
73 -- Adolf Hitler _Mein Kampf_ p403
75 Tell me something interesting about yourself.
77 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/archives/batch20.php
79 We were at a chinese restaurant.
80 He was yelling at the waitress because there was a typo in his fortune
82 -- hugh http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000321.html
84 Three little words. (In order of importance.)
89 █████ -- hugh macleod "Three Words"
91 N: Why should I believe that?"
92 B: Because it's a fact."
94 B: F, A, C, T... fact"
95 N: So you're saying that I should believe it because it's true.
98 -- "Ploy" http://www.mediacampaign.org/multimedia/Ploy.MPG
100 UF: What's your favorite coffee blend?
101 PD: Dark Crude with heavy water. You are understandink? "If geiger
102 counter does not click, the coffee, she is just not thick."
104 Quite the contrary; they *love* collateral damage. If they can make
105 you miserable enough, maybe you'll stop using email entirely. Once
106 enough people do that, then there'll be no legitimate reason left for
107 anyone to run an SMTP server, and the spam problem will be solved.
108 -- Craig Dickson in <20020909231134.GA18917@linux700.localnet>
110 It seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong
113 Filing a bug is probably not going to get it fixed any faster.
116 Build a fire for a man, an he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on
117 fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
120 Dropping non-free would set us back at least, what, 300 packages? It'd
121 take MONTHS to make up the difference, and meanwhile Debian users will
122 be fleeing to SLACKWARE.
124 And what about SHAREHOLDER VALUE?
125 -- Matt Zimmerman in <20021120225004.GX14809@mizar.alcor.net>
127 "One disk to rule them all, One disk to find them. One disk to bring
128 them all and in the darkness grind them. In the Land of Redmond
129 where the shadows lie." -- The Silicon Valley Tarot
131 You could say she lived on the edge... Well, maybe not exactly on the edge,
132 just close enough to watch other people fall off.
133 -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000309.html
135 Of course Pacman didn't influence us as kids. If it did, we'd be
136 running around in darkened rooms, popping pills and listening to
139 "It's not Hollywood. War is real, war is primarily not about defeat or
140 victory, it is about death. I've seen thousands and thousands of dead
141 bodies. Do you think I want to have an academic debate on this
145 THERE IS NO GRAVITY THE WORLD SUCKS
146 -- Vietnam War Penquin Lighter
147 http://gallery.donarmstrong.com/clippings/vietnam_there_is_no_gravity.jpg
149 Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
152 If you have the slightest bit of intellectual integrity you cannot
153 support the government. -- anonymous
155 Debian's not really about the users or the software at all. It's a
156 large flame-generating engine that the cabal uses to heat their coffee
157 -- Andrew Suffield (#debian-devel Fri, 14 Feb 2003 14:34 -0500)
159 "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
160 We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
161 -- Jeremy S. Anderson
163 "There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user
164 off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their
165 REAL earnings to the IRS."
168 When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I
169 realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked
173 "People selling drug paraphernalia ... are as much a part of drug
174 trafficking as silencers are a part of criminal homicide."
175 -- John Brown, DEA Chief
177 Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
181 A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
182 won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
185 I now know how retro SCOs OSes are. Riotous, riotous stuff. How they
186 had the ya-yas to declare Linux an infant OS in need of their IP is
187 beyond me. Upcoming features? PAM. files larger than 2 gigs. NFS over
188 TCP. The 80's called, they want their features back.
189 -- Compactable Dave http://www3.sympatico.ca/dcarpeneto/sco.html
191 This message brought to you by weapons of mass destruction related
192 program activities, and the letter G.
194 Frankly, if ignoring inane opinions and noisy people and not flaming
195 them to crisp is bad behavior, I have not yet achieved a state of
197 -- Manoj Srivastava in 87n04pzhmh.fsf@glaurung.internal.golden-gryphon.com
199 "For those who understand, no explanation is necessary.
200 For those who do not, none is possible."
202 Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but
203 that's not why we do it.
206 "I'm a rational being--of a sort--rational enough, at least, to see the
207 symptoms of insanity around me. And I'm human, the same as the people
208 I think of as victims when my guard drops. It's at least possible I'm
209 even crazier than my fellows, whom I'm tempted to pity.
210 "There seems only one thing to do, and that's get drunk"
211 -- Chad C. Mulligan (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p390)
213 I leave the show floor, but not before a pack of caffeinated Jolt gum
214 is thrust at me by a hyperactive girl screaming, "Chew more! Do more!"
215 The American will to consume more and produce more personified in a
216 stick of gum. I grab it.
219 I never until now realized that the primary job of any emoticon is to
220 say "excuse me, that didn't make any sense." ;-P
223 I'd sign up in a hot second for any cellular company whose motto was:
224 "We're less horrible than a root canal with a cold chisel."
227 Miracles had become relative common-places since the advent of
228 entheogens; it now took very unusual circumstances to attract public
229 attention to sightings of supernatural entities. The latest miracle
230 had raised the ante on the supernatural: the Virgin Mary had
231 manifested herself to two children, a dog, and a Public Telepresence
233 -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p228
235 Junkies were all knitted together in a loose global macrame, the
236 intercontinental freemasonry of narcotics.
237 -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p257
239 America was far better suited to be the World's Movie Star. The
240 world's tequila-addled pro-league bowler. The world's acerbic bi-polar
241 stand-up comedian. Anything but a somber and tedious nation of
242 socially responsible centurions.
243 -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p122
245 The attackers hadn't simply robbed the bank. They had carried off
246 everything portable, including the security cameras, the carpets, the
247 chairs, and the light and plumbing fixtures. The conspirators had
248 deliberately punished the bank, for reasons best known to themselves,
249 or to their unknown controllers. They had superglued doors and
250 shattered windows, severed power and communications cables, poured
251 stinking toxins into the wallspaces, and concreted all of the sinks
252 and drains. In eight minutes, sixty people had ruined the building so
253 thoroughly that it had to be condemned and later demolished.
254 -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p4
256 "Ban cryptography! Yes. Let's also ban pencils, pens and paper, since
257 criminals can use them to draw plans of the joint they are casing or
258 even, god forbid, create one time pads to pass uncrackable codes to
259 each other. Ban open spaces since criminals could use them to converse
260 with each other out of earshot of the police. Let's ban flags since
261 they could be used to pass secret messages in semaphore. In fact let's
262 just ban all forms of verbal and non-verbal communication -- let's see
263 those criminals make plans now!"
265 Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
269 My spelling ability, or rather the lack thereof, is one of the wonders
272 There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good
273 sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
276 Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for
280 I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like
281 to run their own business. I know men that would make my wife a
282 better husband than I am; but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to
284 -- The Best of Will Rogers
286 More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads.
287 One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness.
288 The other, to total extinction.
289 Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
292 "Because," Fee-5 explained patiently, "I was born in the fifth row.
293 Any fool would understand that, but against stupidity the very Gods
294 themselves contend in vain."
295 -- Alfred Bester _The Computer Connection_ p19
297 The beauty of the DRUNKENNESS subprogram was that you could move your
298 intoxication level up and down at will, instead of being caught on a
299 relentless down escalator to bargain basement philosophy and the
301 -- Rudy von Bitter _Software_ p124
303 Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you. If you don't
305 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p240
307 An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
308 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p244
310 There is no such thing as "social gambling." Either you are there to
311 cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it--or you're a sucker. If you
312 don't like this choice--don't gamble.
313 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p250
315 In all matters of government, the correct answer is usually: "Do
317 -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p428
319 No amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free
320 [...] You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.
321 -- Robert Heinlein _Revolt in 2010_ p54
323 LEADERSHIP -- A form of self-preservation exhibited by people with
324 autodestructive imaginations in order to ensure that when it comes to
325 the crunch it'll be someone else's bones which go crack and not their
327 -- The HipCrime Vocab by Chad C. Mulligan
328 (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p256-7)
330 Information wants to be free to kill again.
331 -- Red Robot http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1372
333 NASCAR is a Yankee conspiracy to keep you all placated so the South
335 -- http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=327
337 S: Make me a sandwich
338 B: What? Make it yourself.
339 S: sudo make me a sandwich
341 -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/c149.html
343 Democracy is more dangerous than fire. Fire can't vote itself immune
345 -- Michael Z. Williamson
347 A Democracy lead by politicians and political parties, fails.
349 PowerPoint is symptomatic of a certain type of bureaucratic
350 environment: one typified by interminable presentations with lots of
351 fussy little bullet-points and flashy dissolves and soundtracks masked
352 into the background, to try to convince the audience that the goon
353 behind the computer has something significant to say.
354 -- Charles Stross _The Jennifer Morgue_ p33
356 Everyone has to die. And in a hundred years nobody's going to inquire
357 just how most people died. The best thing is to do it in the way that
358 strikes your fancy most.
359 -- Kenzaburō Ōe _Silent Cry_ p5
361 The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other
362 invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila
365 G: If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?
366 EB: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and
367 scatter oneself over a wide area.
368 -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4
370 Religion is religion, however you wrap it, and like Quell says, a
371 preoccupation with the next world clearly signals an inability to cope
372 credibly with this one.
373 -- Richard K. Morgan "Broken Angels" p65
375 J.W. Grant: "Bastard!"
376 Rico: "Yes, Sir. In my case, an accident of birth. But you, Sir,
377 you're a self-made man."
378 -- Henry "Rico" Fardan in "The Professionals"
380 a friend will help you move
381 a best friend will help you move bodies
382 but if you have to move your best friend's body
384 -- a softer world #242
385 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=242
387 The carbon footprint of a single human being is enormous.
388 If you think about it, your honour,
389 I'm an environmentalist.
390 -- a softer world #283
391 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=283
393 Where am I? THE VILLAGE. What do you want? INFORMATION. Which side are
394 you on? THAT WOULD BE TELLING. WE WANT INFORMATION. INFORMATION.
395 INFORMATION. You won't get it! BY HOOK OR BY CROOK, WE WILL. Who are
396 you? THE NEW NUMBER 2. Who is Number 1? YOU ARE NUMBER 6. I am not a
397 number! I am a free man! HAHAHAHAHAHA.
398 -- Patrick McGoohan as Number 6 with Number 2 in "The Prisoner"
401 We are all going to die.
402 I intend to deserve it.
403 -- a softer world #421
404 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=421
406 Rule 6: "If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to
408 -- Howard Tayler _Schlock Mercenary_ March 13th, 2005
409 http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050313.html
411 listen, what you do in the privacy
412 of your neighbour's house while they're away
414 -- a softer world #511
415 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=511
417 Sometimes I wish I could take back all my mistakes
419 what if my mother could take back hers?
420 -- a softer world #498
421 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=498
423 Clean living is less fun
424 and you wind up feeling stupid
426 -- a softer world #489
427 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=489
429 If god is always watching over us
431 -- a softer world #487
432 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=487
434 Maybe I did steal your heart
435 and I am such a perfect criminal
436 that you never noticed
437 -- a softer world #481
438 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=481
440 Life would be way easier
442 -- a softer world #473
443 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=473
446 violence didn't solve anything
447 until one day it did.
448 -- a softer world #470
449 http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=470
451 Given that the odds of a miracle are one in one million, and events
452 which could be a miracle happen every second, the odds of not seeing a
453 miracle in a month are less than 8 in 100. Clearly miracles are not
456 "Do you think you might be suffering from post-traumatic stress
459 -- Walter Jon Williams _This Is Not A Game_ p121