+++ /dev/null
-# Revised: 20050224
-# Author: Tim Riker <Tim@Rikers.org>
-###
-
-main: I learn mainly by observing declarative statements such as "x is at http://www.xxx.com", and then reply when people ask things like "where can i find x?"
-
-action: This is used to override the usual response. "x is <action> does the hokey-pokey". When asked about x, the bot does this "* blootbot does the hokey-pokey"
-
-alternation: The || symbol in an entry causes an blootbot to choose one of the replies at random. "X is Y||Z" will produce "X is Y" or "X is Z" randomly.
-
-author: oznoid (mailto:lenzo@ri.cmu.edu) is my original author.
-
-dollar variables: D: To be used in factoids
-dollar variables: $Fdunno - ...
-dollar variables: $Fquestion - ...
-dollar variables: $Fupdate - ...
-dollar variables: $channel - channel from which the factoid was requested
-dollar variables: $date - current date (GMT)
-dollar variables: $day - day of week (full name, locale)
-dollar variables: $factoids - factoid count
-dollar variables: $host - hostname of factoid requester
-dollar variables: $ident - bot nick
-dollar variables: $lastspeaker - ...
-dollar variables: $memusage - ...
-dollar variables: $rand - random number, also $rand100.2
-dollar variables: $randnick - random nick
-dollar variables: $startTime - start time
-dollar variables: $time - current time (GMT)
-dollar variables: $uptime - ...
-dollar variables: $user - username of factoid requester
-dollar variables: $who - nick of factoid requester
-
-corrections: If I come back with "...but x is at http://xx.xx.xx" or something like that, and you want to change the entry, use "no, x is at http://sdfsdfsdf". The "No," tells me to supercede the existing value.
-corrections: you can append stuff to a factoid with "also". "x is also at ..."
-
-math: D: math expresions can be evaluated. This uses Perl syntax.
-math: E: 1+1
-math: + - add
-math: - - subtract
-math: * - multiply
-math: / - division
-math: ** - to the power
-math: pi - pi
-math: & - and
-math: | = or
-math: ^ - xor
-
-redirection: If a factoid x contains simply "<reply> see y", then when asked for x, I will deliver factoidor command result y instead.
-
-reply: There is a special tag, <reply>, that is used to override the usual response. Usually, a response is "X is Y", but it can be made "Y" by making the entry "X is <reply> Y".
-
-# now the commands...
-
-adduser: D: Administrative command to add new user to the .users file
-adduser: U: ## <user> <mask>
-adduser: E: ## bloot bloot!bloot@example.com
-
-addressing: It is a good idea if I stay in REQUIRE mode so that I won't yell out random crap if I listen in too hard. Currently there is no way to turn this off on-the-fly. (REQUIRE mode requires me to be addressed by name if I am to respond)
-
-babelfish: D: Frontend to babelfish translating service provided by http://babelfish.altavista.com/ Note that utf8 is used for non-ascii characters.
-babelfish: U: x <fromLang> <toLang> <words>
-babelfish: U: translate <fromLang> <toLang> <words>
-babelfish: E: x en de your cars rock
-
--ban: D: FIXME:
--ban: U: ## <mask|user>
--ban: E: ## *!*@owns.org
--ban: E: ## MoronMan
-
-+ban: D: FIXME:
-+ban: U: ## <mask|user> [chan] [time] [reason]
-+ban: E: ## *!*@owns.org #bots 60 stop flooding.
-+ban: E: ## *!*@*microsoft.com STOOPID
-+ban: E: ## MoronMan
-
-botmail: D: Send someone botmail
-botmail: U: ## {for <who>[:] <message>}|stats|check|read
-botmail: E: ## for infobot: you rock!
-botmail: E: ## stats
-botmail: E: ## check
-botmail: E: ## read
-
--chan: D: Leave a channel permanently
--chan: U: ## -#channel
--chan: E: ## -#botpark
-
-+chan: D: Join a channel permanently
-+chan: U: ## #channel
-+chan: E: ## #botpark
-
-chaninfo: D: Display channel statistics on Op, Ban, Deop, Unban, Part, Join, SignOff, PublicMsg, Kick and Topic
-chaninfo: U: ## [#channel]
-chaninfo: E: ##
-chaninfo: E: ## #botpark
-
-chanset: D: set a variable for a channel
-chanset: U: ## [#chan] [what] [val]
-chanset: E: ## #c +test
-chanset: E: ## #c -test
-chanset: E: ## #c test
-chanset: E: ## #c test 0
-chanset: E: ## #c test testing123
-
-chanunset: D: remove a variable from a channel
-chanunset: U: ## <#chan> [what]
-chanunset: E: ## #c
-chanunset: E: ## #c test
-
-chattr: D: Change flags on a user (see "help flags")
-chattr: U: ## <user> [flags]
-chattr: E: ## bloot +nmo
-chattr: E: ## bloot -ot
-chattr: E: ## bloot
-
-chnick: D: rename a nick (user) entry
-chnick: U: ## [nick] <new-nick>
-chnick: E: ## moron
-chnick: E: ## owner eleet
-
-chpass: D: Change a user's password
-chpass: U: ## [user] <pass>
-chpass: E: ## testing
-chpass: E: ## testing test0R
-
-contents: D: Debian Contents search only (no Packages)
-contents: U: ## <string> [dist]
-contents: E: ## strings.h
-contents: E: ## x11amp potato
-
-cookie: I can feed your appetite with random factoids.
-
-cpustats: cpustats dumps the bot's cpu usage this session
-
-crypt: It's good that you thought about encryption. I can do it for you.
-crypt: U: ## <salt> <string>
-crypt: E: ## 69 changeme
-crypt: E: ## $1$abcde changeme
-
-cycle: D: Causes me to cycle in the channel it's said, or in the named channel
-cycle: U: ## [channel]
-cycle: E: ##
-cycle: E: ## #botpark
-
-dauthor: D: Find Debian package maintainers, and list the packages they maintain
-dauthor: U: ## <string> [dist]
-dauthor: E: ## Wichert
-dauthor: E: ## Wichert potato
-
-dbugs: D: Show the current count of release critical bugs (latest versions)
-dbugs: U: ##
-
-deluser: D: Administrative command to remove a user from the .users file
-deluser: U: ## <user>
-deluser: E: ## bloot
-
-ddesc: D: Search the Description: lines in Debian packages
-ddesc: U: ## <string> [dist]
-ddesc: E: ## mule
-ddesc: E: ## mule potato
-
-dfind: D: Debian Packages (fallback to Contents) search
-dfind: U: ## <string> [dist]
-dfind: E: ## strings.h
-dfind: E: ## x11amp potato
-
-dict: D: DICT Protocol Client - likely dicts: elements web1913 wn gazetteer jargon foldoc easton hitchcock devils world02 vera
-dict: U: ## [entry num] <query>[/dict]
-dict: E: ## linux
-dict: E: ## 33 set/wn
-
-dns: D: Query DNS
-dns: U: ## <host|ip>
-dns: E: ## debian.org
-dns: E: ## 3.1.33.7
-
-do: D: operator command to do things in a channel
-do: U: ## <chan> <what>
-
-dstats: D: Show basic stats on the current size of the Debian distros
-dstats: U: ## [dist]
-dstats: E: ##
-dstats: E: ## potato
-
-factinfo: D: View statistical information about a particular factoid.
-factinfo: U: ## <factoid>
-factinfo: E: ## test
-
-factstats: D: Display statistical data (max of 15) about factoids.
-factstats: U: ## <type>
-factstats: == author -- top author of factoids.
-factstats: == deadredir -- ??
-factstats: == duplicate -- duplicate factoids.
-factstats: == listfix -- ??
-factstats: == locked -- locked factoids.
-factstats: == new -- recent addition of factoids.
-factstats: == nullfactoids -- ??
-factstats: == partdupe -- initial partial duplicate factoids.
-factstats: == profanity -- possibly offensive factoids.
-factstats: == redir -- redirection in factoids.
-factstats: == reqrate -- ??
-factstats: == requested -- most requested factoids.
-factstats: == requesters -- most requested factoids.
-factstats: == seefix -- ??
-factstats: == toolong -- factoid {key|value} exceeding specified length.
-factstats: == tooshort -- factoid {key|value} shorter than specified length.
-factstats: == total -- ??
-factstats: == unrequest -- unrequested factoids.
-factstats: == vandalism -- ??
-factstats: E: ## new
-
-forget: If I have an old/redundant factoid x, "forget x" will cause me to erase it.
-
-freshmeat: D: Frontend to www.freshmeat.net
-freshmeat: U: ## <query>
-freshmeat: E: ## blootbot
-
-hex: D: Convert ascii to hex
-hex: U: ## <string>
-hex: E: ## carrot
-
-httpdtype: D: Get httpd server software version / configuration
-httpdtype: U: ## <hostname>
-httpdtype: E: ## example.com
-
-ignore: D: ignore list management
-ignore: E: ## [mask chan expire comment]
-ignore: E: addignore guu!*@*
-
-ircstats: ircstats dumps some status information on the bot's IRC connection
-
-join: U: ## <#chan> [key]
-join: E: ## #botpark
-join: E: ## #botpark rules
-
-karma: Karma is a community rating system. Use "X++" to increase the karma, or "X--" to decrease it. Ask for ratings using "karma for X?"
-
-kernel: D: Frontend to linux.kernel.org's finger response.
-kernel: U: ##
-
-kick: U: ## <nick> [#chan] [message]
-kick: E: ## oznoid
-kick: E: ## larne #botpark
-kick: E: ## john #foo go away!
-
-lart: D: Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool
-lart: U: ## [#chan] <who>
-lart: E: ## lenzo infobot's bugginess
-lart: E: ## #perl everyone perl \=\= lamerville
-
-lc: D: lower case a given string
-lc: U: ## <string>
-lc: E: ## When will blootbot achieve world domination?
-
-listauth: D: Search the factoid extension db by creator
-listauth: U: ## <search>
-listauth: E: ## xk
-
-listkeys: D: Search the factoid database by key (factoid)
-listkeys: U: ## <regex>
-listkeys: E: ## blootbot
-
-listvalues: D: Search the factoid database by value (description)
-listvalues: U: ## <regex>
-listvalues: E: ## blootbot
-
-literal: used to get a raw factoid contents. Use _default to ignore factoidSearch path.
-literal: U: ## [_default|prefix] <factoid>
-literal: E: ## blootbot
-
-lobotomy: I can be given a lobotomy ([o] is required) if people start to abuse me. To bring me back to life, give me an unlobotomy
-
-lock: D: Factoid locking to prevent removal by others
-lock: U: ## <factoid>
-lock: E: ## abuse
-lock: N: By default, only registered "ops" on the bots or factoids matching the user's nick are able to lock factoids.
-lock: N: Requires factoid extension (extra) support enabled.
-
-md5: D: calculates the md5sum of a given string
-md5: U: ## <string>
-md5: E: ## When will blootbot achieve world domination?
-
-mode: set modes for a channel
-mode: U: ## <#chan> <mode>
-mode: E: ## #botpark +t
-mode: E: ## #botpark -i
-
-news: D: News functions
-news: U: ## [chan] <add,del,mod,set,latest,read,help>
-
-news add: D: Add news items
-news add: U: news [chan] add <title>
-news add: E: news add This is a test
-news add: see _news set Text_ aswell
-
-news set: D: Set stuff for news item
-news set: U: news [chan] set <item> <what> [value]
-news set: valid <what>: Expire, Text
-news set: E: news set 1 Text ok, this works
-news set: E: news set test Text and this is a test
-news set: E: news set test Text
-
-news set expire: D: Set expire for news item
-news set expire: U: news [chan] expire <what> <value>
-news set expire: value can be: Xd Xh Xm Xs
-news set expire: value can be: never
-news set expire: news expire 1 3days
-news set expire: news expire 2 +20d
-news set expire: news expire Test 30d 20h 10m 5s
-news set expire: news expire TEST never
-
-news del: D: Delete news item (requires +o or be author)
-news del: U: news [chan] del <item>
-news del: E: news del 1
-news del: E: news del test
-
-news mod: D: Modify a news item (todo: modify Text aswell)
-news mod: E: news [chan] mod <item> s/<from>/<to>/[g]
-news mod: E: news mod 1 s/test/Test/
-news mod: E: news mod test s/test/Test/g
-
-nickometer: D: Measures the lame-ness of a nick or channel
-nickometer: U: ## {nick,channel}
-nickometer: E: ## unknown_lamer
-nickometer: E: ## #botpark
-
-onjoin: D: get/set OnJoin message (needs chan option +OnJoin)
-onjoin: U: ## [#chan|_default] [-]<nick> [message]
-onjoin: E: ## blootbot Hey! It's another blootbot!
-
-ord: D: Convert ascii to decimal
-ord: U: ## <single character>
-ord: E: ## c
-
-page: D: Send someone a pager message
-page: U: ## <who> <message>
-page: E: ## infobot you rock!
-page: NOTE: this uses the "<who>'s pager" factoids for the From: and To: addresses of the format "example's pager" is "mailto:me@example.com"
-
-part: D: Leave a channel (DCC only)
-part: U: ## <#channel>
-part: E: ## #botpark
-part: NOTE: /kick is an alternative
-
-piglatin: D: translates english text into piglatin
-piglatin: U: ## <string>
-piglatin: E: ## When will blootbot achieve world domination?
-
-quote: D: Frontend to yahoo's online stock market share listing
-quote: U: ## <query...>
-quote: E: ## RHAT,MSFT
-
-rename: D: Factoid renaming
-rename: U: ## 'from' 'to'
-rename: E: ## 'infobot' 'blootbot'
-
-reverse: D: reverses a given string
-reverse: U: ## <string>
-reverse: E: ## When will blootbot achieve world domination?
-
-rot13: D: ROT13's a given string
-rot13: U: ## <string>
-rot13: E: ## guvf vf n ynzr rknzcyr
-
-say: D: operator command to say things in a channel
-say: U: ## <chan> <what>
-
-scramble: D: scrambles a given string
-scramble: U: ## <string>
-scramble: E: ## When will blootbot achieve world domination?
-
-search: U: ## <engine> for <string>
-search: E: ## google for blootbot
-
-seen: D: Report last seen time for somebody
-seen: U: ## <nick>
-seen: E: ## blootbot
-
-slashdot: D: News for nerds, Stuff that matters. [tm] (shows the headlines)
-slashdot: U: ##
-
-spell: You've guessed it right, I'm a spell checker. Give me any word and I can confirm whether it's good or bad.
-
-status: status dumps general status information
-
-tell: D: Tell someone about a factoid or command
-tell: U: ## <who> -?about <what>
-tell: E: ## me about blootbot
-tell: E: ## someone -about testing
-
-topic add: D: Add your own topic
-topic add: U: ## <topic>
-topic add: E: ## This is a test
-
-topic del: D: Delete one or two subtopics
-topic del: U: ## <#>
-topic del: E: ## 1
-topic del: E: ## 1-3,5
-topic del: E: ## last
-
-topic mod: D: Search and replace strings in the topic
-topic mod: U: ## <REGEX>
-topic mod: E: ## s/test/TEST/
-topic mod: E: ## s#msg test#/msg test#g
-
-topic mv: D: Move subtopics around.
-topic mv: U: ## <#> <before|after|swap> <#>
-topic mv: E: ## 1 after 2
-topic mv: E: ## first before last
-
-topic restore: D: Restores the topic to an earlier version
-topic restore: U: ## <#>
-topic restore: E: ## 3
-
-topic: Usage for 'topic [#chan] <params>':
-topic: ---------------- __Subtopic__:
-topic: add <TOPIC> - Append <TOPIC> to topic.
-topic: del <#> - Remove subtopic <#> from topic.
-topic: list - Display subtopics.
-topic: mod s/old/new/ - Search and replace topic.
-topic: mv <ARGS> - 'topic mv'.
-topic: shuffle - Randomly organize subtopics.
-topic: ---------------- __Topic__
-topic: history - Show previous topics.
-topic: restore <#> - Restore topic to <#>.
-topic: rehash - Rehash changes to topic.
-topic: info - Who and time info.
-topic: ---------------- __Misc__
-topic: about - Read the file :)
-topic: help - This screen.
-
-topic: NOTE: #chan arg is only required if command is sent over private message to nick, otherwise it is not needed if sent to the channel.
-topic: NOTE: commands can be preceeded? with '-' in order not to enforce changes to topic.
-topic: End of help.
-
-uc: D: upper case a given string
-uc: U: ## <string>
-uc: E: ## When will blootbot achieve world domination?
-
-unforget: If a factoid has been forgotten, "unforget x" will cause me to unerase it.
-
-unlobotomy: Not possible in real life, an unlobotomy will bring me back to life in the case of a lobotomy.
-
-unlock: D: Factoid unlocking to allow removal by others.
-unlock: U: ## <factoid>
-unlock: E: ## abuse
-
-uptime: D: Show the current uptime, and the top 3 uptimes recorded
-uptime: U: ##
-
-wantnick: If someone's taken my nick (I hope not) and I'm using some temporary nick, I can change back to my original nick if it's not taken (again).
-
-wikipedia: D: Frontend to the Wikipedia at http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Note that utf8 is used for non-ascii characters.
-wikipedia: U: ## <topic>
-wikipedia: U: wiki <topic>
-wikipedia: E: wiki irc
-
-wtf: D: Interface to the BSD wtf command
-wtf: U: ## <abbreviation>
-wtf: E: ## iirc
-
--host: D: admin command to remove hostmask from a user account
--host: U: ## [user] <mask>
--host: E: ## *!*@owns.org
--host: E: ## owner leet!leet@*.heh.org
-
-+host: D: admin command to list or add hostmasks to a user account
-+host: U: ## [user] [<mask>]
-+host: E: ## owner
-+host: E: ## *!*@owns.org
-+host: E: ## owner leet!leet@*.heh.org
-
-flags: D: Flags for chattr command
-flags: D: "A" - bot administration over /msg (default is only via DCC CHAT)
-flags: D: "O" - dynamic ops (as on channel). (automatic +o)
-flags: D: "T" - add topics.
-flags: D: "a" - ask/request factoid.
-flags: D: "m" - modify factoid. (includes renaming)
-flags: D: "n" - bot owner, can "reload"
-flags: D: "o" - master of bot (automatic +amrt)
-flags: D: - can search on factoid strings shorter than 2 chars
-flags: D: - can tell bot to join new channels
-flags: D: - can [un]lock factoids
-flags: D: "r" - remove factoid.
-flags: D: "t" - teach/add factoid.
-
+++ /dev/null
-# blootbot.lang: configurable responses.
-# by the xk.
-###
-
-# Welcome reply: Things to say when people thank me.
-welcome
- no problem
- my pleasure
- sure thing
- no worries
- de nada
- de rien
- bitte
- pas de quoi
- gern geschehen
-
-# Dunno reply (when i recognize a query but can't answer it):
-dunno
- i don't know
- i haven't a clue
- no idea
- wish i knew
- bugger all, i dunno
- I give up, what is it?
- I don't know, could you explain it?
- I'm not sure, is it larger than a breadbox?
- parse error: dunno what the heck you're talking about
- are you using Windows?
- I wish you would RTFM.
- have you tried http://www.tldp.org/ ?
- KCI error, or a problem with the Keyboard-Chair Interface.
-
-# moron reply.
-moron
- You think I'm human? Think again!
- h0 h0 h0
- Hi, how's life?
- What do you want?
- Are you on drugs?
- Wassup G?
-
-# confuse/refuse learn.
-confused
- I think you lost me on that one
- what are you talking about?
-
-# Hello reply (ways to say hello):
-hello
- hello
- hi
- hey
- niihau
- bonjour
- hola
- salut
- que tal
- privet
- what's up
- moin moin
-
-# Cookie reply: added by the xk.
-cookie
- ACTION spins the wheel of knowledge and ponders... ##KEY... ##VALUE
- ACTION pulls out the cookie jar and finds ##KEY... ##VALUE
- Hey ##WHO, ##KEY is ##VALUE
-
-# Factoid reply:
-factoid
- methinks ##KEY is ##VALUE
- i heard ##KEY is ##VALUE
- i guess ##KEY is ##VALUE
- from memory, ##KEY is ##VALUE
- hmm... ##KEY is ##VALUE
- ##KEY is probably ##VALUE
- ##KEY is, like, ##VALUE
- rumour has it, ##KEY is ##VALUE
- it has been said that ##KEY is ##VALUE
- somebody said ##KEY was ##VALUE
- well, ##KEY is ##VALUE
- extra, extra, read all about it, ##KEY is ##VALUE
- [##KEY] ##VALUE
-
-# HowAreYou reply:
-howareyou
- eh, ok
- peachy
- just great
- you know how it is...
- pretty good. how about you?
- mas o menos
-
-# Question word.
-qWord
- who
- who is
- who are
- what
- what's
- what is
- what are
- where
- where's
- where is
- where are
-
-# botsnack etc praise
-# TODO add ACTION support
-praise
- :)
- thanks
- aw, gee
+++ /dev/null
-
-#
-# lart info by ejb (larne) and cerb.
-#
-
---purges WHO
-accelerates a free AOL cd to 50,000 rpm and lets WHO feel it
-acting on orders from an unspecified client drags WHO into court suing for $200 million
-beats the living hamstercrap out of WHO
-beats WHO into protomatter with the andromeda galaxy
-beats WHO over the head with a microkernel
-beats WHO senseless with a 50lb Unix manual
-beats WHO severely about the head and shoulders with a rubber chicken
-beats WHO to within 2.54cm of his life
-blames WHO for all the evil in the world
-blasts WHO to oblivion with a kamehameha wave
-blasts WHO with a huge firehose then strangles WHO with it
-brandishes Excalibur! "With this sword, I vanquish thee, WHO!" and lops off WHO's head
-breaks out the Hoover and sucks up WHO
-burns WHO to a crisp with a laser
-calls WHO on the phone ... the lights are on but nobody's home
-cats /dev/urandom into WHO's ear
-changes WHO's permissions to 0777 and tells the world
-chops WHO in half with a free AOL CD
-chops WHO in half with a free Solaris 7 CD
-crushes WHO with a full height scsi disk
-cuts off WHO's head with a halberd that could have been a little bit sharper
-cuts WHO into thin stripes
-decapitates WHO conan the destroyer style
-declares WHO a moron
-does a little 'dpkg -P WHO' action
-does a little 'renice 20 -u WHO'
-DoSes WHO
-drops a baby grand on WHO
-drops a humongous exploding nuke on WHO
-drops a truckload of VAXen on WHO
-duct-tapes WHO to the floor and drools on him
-dumps 42 tons of dirt, manure, and fish heads on WHO
-eats WHO and falls over dead
-eats WHO's liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti
-executes killall -HUP WHO
-executes killall -KILL WHO
-executes killall -TERM WHO
-explains, ever so gently, that if WHO doesn't give the channel more information, they can't help
-farts in WHO's general direction
-flings poo at WHO
-follow's WHO with a gauntlet and ... scratch ... HUMILIATION
-forces WHO to use Outlook Express
-frags WHO with his BFG9000
-gets a hotmal account and SPAMs WHO
-gives WHO a "free" copy of Windows and then charges double for "Upgrades"
-gives WHO a good seeing to
-gives WHO an extra strength ACME sleeping pill, sending WHO to sleep for 150 years, and awakening to seven strange dwarfs and a large apple
-grabs a large, mis-shapened log, with squirrels, and beats WHO until only the nuts remain ... which the squirrels run off with
-hauls WHO up by the scruff of the neck and spanks him until he waddles
-hereby declares WHO a troll
-hits WHO with an anvil and laughs with a contralto voice ... Haha Ha HA Ha
-holds WHO to the floor and spanks him with a cat-o-nine-tails
-hooks into a hydrant and hoses WHO down
-hurls dozens of incontinent, insomniac, hungry kittens with tiny little razor-sharp claws and a wide variety of contagious intestinal parasites at WHO
-installs a bad bootloader on WHO and turns WHO into a brick
-installs PocketPC on WHO's PDA
-judo chops WHO
-keeps mailing WHO free America Online CDs until he drowns
-lowers WHO's priority
-makes a balloon animal out of WHO
-moos at WHO
-nabs the moon and broadsides WHO with the sea of tranquility
-nukes WHO with a single large nuke
-offers WHO some herring
-overclocks WHO until WHO burns out
-plops WHO into a giant vat of herring
-pours gasoline all over WHO, ignites the fire, and then enjoys some toasty marshmallows with the glorious blaze
-pours hot grits down the front of WHO's pants
-pries WHO's back open with a screwdriver and flashes a new bootldr to WHO
-pulls out a ClueBat (tm) and thwaps WHO
-pulls out his louisville slugger and uses WHO's head to break the homerun record
-pushes the wall down onto WHO whilst whistling innocently
-puts on a hockey mask and jumps out at WHO
-puts on some milking gloves. "All right, now, WHO, this won't hurt a bit...."
-puts WHO into a headlock and administers a mighty noogie, rubbing half of WHO's hair of
-puts WHO through a wood chipper
-raises middle finger to WHO
-readies the nuke launcher and fires some rounds at WHO
-resizes WHO's terminal to 40x24
-rm -rf's WHO
-runs at WHO with an origami Swiss Army knife, and inflicts a nasty paper cut
-says "boot to the head" and knocks WHO over
-send killer squirrels to attack WHO
-sends a legion of lawyers after WHO's head
-shoots WHO in his sleep
-shoots WHO in the head
-shoves a crumpet down WHO's throat, happy now?! Huh? Want some JAM with that?
-slams WHO against a large cement Tux
-slaps a compatible dib on WHO's head
-slaps WHO around with a large trout
-slaps WHO upside and over the head with one freakishly huge killer whale named hugh
-slaps WHO upside the head with a wet fish
-smacks WHO up side the head with a clue-by-4
-squeezes WHO till WHO turns blue like papa smurf
-squishes WHO like a bug
-stabs WHO
-stamps WHO on the forehead with the official Troll marker
-steals WHO's mojo
-strangles WHO with a 9-pole serial cable
-strangles WHO with a doohicky mouse cord
-stuffs WHO into a shiny new tin can and vacuum seals it
-takes a big bite out of WHO's jugular vein
-takes a large goose feather pillow and swings it wildly in WHO's direction, hitting WHO and sending WHO flying into the closet
-takes a rusty axe and swings it violently, taking WHO's head off
-takes large quantities of Krispy Kream donuts and stuffs them one after another down WHO's throat until WHO puts on 150lbs
-takes out a cattle prod and gives WHO a good jolt
-takes out a seltzer bottle and sprays WHO in the face. You know, one of those old-school seltzer bottles clowns have? Yeah those. Anyway, consider yourself spritzed
-takes out WHO with the trash
-takes WHO to the vet for a "special" visit
-teaches WHO that M$ Access is a database. No, really, a database. A real live multi-user... well, ok, not multi-user, but a database. Yeah, that sounds right.
-teaches WHO the basics, including how to RTM
-throws a AN/M-8 smoke grenade at WHO
-throws WHO's poor little doggy off a cliff
-tries to shut WHO up
-turns WHO into a lifesized tux doll
-urinates on WHO
-wallops WHO with a main rotation server that needs rehubbing. It won't take long
-whacks WHO upside the head
-whacks WHO with a giant beaver's tail
-whacks WHO with the cluebat
-whips out a hot clue gun and makes sure that WHO is stuck to the floor
-whips out a shotgun, trudges over to WHO, and goes postal
-whips out a sword and chops WHO in half
-whips out his power stapler and staples WHO's foot to the floor
-whips WHO with a wet and grimy noodle just because
+++ /dev/null
-He who controls the source controls the universe!
-Want to see a listing of files installed by a package, type dpkg -L package
-Need to know the status of a package? type dpkg -s package
-Need help, but everyone is idle in the channel, try emailing to debian-user@lists.debian.org
-Need to see the list of packages matching a pattern, type dpkg -l pattern
-If you have a webserver and dww packages installed, try http://localhost/dwww for all kinds of documentation
-Need help setting up PPP? read /usr/doc/ppp/README.debian
-Want to know why Debian is best? type !why in the channel
-Want to upgrade to hamm (unstable)? type !libc6 to get the mini-HOWTO
-Want to check out Debian social contract? type !dfsg in the channel
-Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
-Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
-Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
-We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
-Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
-Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
-Did anyone see my lost carrier?
-Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
-I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
-He who laughs last thinks slowest!
-Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
-'More hay, Trigger?' 'No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!'
-A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
-Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
-Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
-I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
-Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
-Double your drive space - delete Windows!
-What is a 'free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
-If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
-'Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.'
-Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
-Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
-Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
-I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
-I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
-Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
-The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
-When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Okay, who put a 'stop payment' on my reality check?
-Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
-We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
-All generalizations are false, including this one.
-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
-C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
-'Criminal Lawyer' is a redundancy.
-Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER
-'640K ought to be enough for anybody.' Bill Gates '81
-'90% of all statistics are made up'
-'A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.'
-'A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.' - R. Frost
-'A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.' -Doug Larson
-'Apple' (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
-'Apple' (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
-'Bad knee, gotta run' - Pat Buchanan to his draft board
-'Beam me aboard, Scotty.' 'Sure. Will a 2x10 do?'
-'Beulah, peel me a grape.'
-'Bother,' said Pooh as the brakes went out!
-'Build a watch in 179 easy steps' by C. Forsberg.
-'C++' should have been called 'D'
-'COINCIDENCE' happens.
-'Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!'
-'Careful. We don't want to learn from this.' -- Calvin
-'Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?' -- Calvin
-'Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.'
-'Freedom defined is freedom denied.' -The Illuminatus
-'Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?'
-'Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw...'
-'Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty?' -- Hobbes
-'Human equality is a contingent fact of history.' -Steven Jay Gould
-'I tried to think but nothing happened!' - Curly
-'I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV'
-'I'm not smart enough to lie' - Ronald Reagan
-'If I knew what I was doing...I'd be dangerous...'
-'If the shoe fits, buy it.' Imelda Marcos
-'Instant gratification takes too long.' - Carrie Fisher
-'Is' is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
-'It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end.'-D. Adams
-'It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs'
-'Keyboard? How quaint!' - Scotty
-'Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke' - Obi Wan Gates
-'Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!'
-'Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!'
-'Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting.'
-'Remember when we said there was no future? Well, this is it.' -- Blank Regk
-'Stupid' is a boundless concept.
-'Suicide Hotline...please hold.'
-'The faster you go, the shorter you are' - Einstein
-'The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.' - Mark Twain
-'The sun ain't yellow, its chicken.' -Bob Dylan
-'There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.' -Mark Twain
-'There's someone in my head, but its not me.' -Pink Floyd
-'This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else.' -
-'To err is human, to forgive....$5.00'
-'Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!' -Yoda-
-'Vote for Perot' - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro
-'You can't have everything. Where would you put it?' -Steven Wright
-#1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!!
-#include std/disclaimer.h
-$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt
-'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt
-(((((This tagline in Stereo where available)))))
-(A)bort (R)etry (C)ut Your Throat.....
-(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (U)nplug & (S)ell.
-(A)bort (R)etry (P)ull leg (H)ot boot (S)wipe tagline!
-(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
-(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
-(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
-(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
-(c) Copywight 1995 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
-* OLX 3 * Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
-*Four hours* to bury a cat? Yes - it wouldn't keep still
-.. Bugs come in through open Windows.
-... 'I'll be Bach.' - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
-... All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal.
-... Bill Clinton isn't slick. He's just a liar.
-... Clinton Economics: If 1+2=3 then 4+5=6.
-... Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says
-... Clinton excuse #18: You took that seriously? Har har
-... Clinton sandwich: $5 of baloney and $20 in taxes
-... Getting the truth from Clinton is like nailing Jello
-... It's tourist season in Florida, bag limit two.
-... KARAOKE is Japanese for 'Tone Deaf'
-... Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
-.....If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!
-...I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.
-...On the other hand, you have different fingers.
-..Windows NT Performance', on the next 'In Search Of'
-/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
-1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
-10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo!
-1200 bps used to seem so fast
-186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
-1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
-2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
-2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
-3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
-43% of all statistics are worthless.
-43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
-5 schizophrenics agree!
-50 states, and I had to pick this one...
-668 - Neighbor of the Beast
-90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
-<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
-==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==
-From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.
-From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
-A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
-A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
-A Metaphor is like a Simile.
-A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
-A big enough hammer fixes anything
-A bird in the hand can be messy.
-A camel is a horse planned by committee.
-A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
-A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
-A closed mind gathers no intelligence
-A closed mouth gathers no feet.
-A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain.
-A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
-A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
-A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
-A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
-A day not wasted is a day wasted!
-A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
-A day without sunshine is like night.
-A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
-A dirty book is rarely dusty.
-A fool and his money are soon SYSOP.
-A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
-A fool must now and then be right by chance.
-A friend in need is a pest indeed...
-A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
-A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
-A half moon is better than no moon at all.
-A harp is a nude piano.
-A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
-A library is an arsenal of liberty.
-A life lived in fear is half a life lived.
-A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
-A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
-A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
-A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
-A man's best friend is his dogma.
-A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
-A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
-A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
-A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
-A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
-A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
-A perversion of nature....how exciting!
-A pessimist is never disappointed.
-A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice.
-A rolling stone gathers momentum.
-A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
-A single fact can spoil a good argument.
-A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
-A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
-A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
-A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won.
-ASCII and ye shall receive.
-ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
-Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
-Afraid of heights? Not me, I'm afraid of widths!
-Agnodyslexic plea: 'why ME, dog?'
-Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
-Alex, I'll take 'Things Only I Know' for $1000.
-All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
-All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy.
-All I need to know I learned from my cat.
-All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
-All generalizations are bad.
-All generalizations are false, including this one.
-All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
-All in a day's work for...'Confuse-a-Cat'!
-All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall!
-All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
-All programers are optimists.
-All that glitters has a high refractive index.
-All the easy problems have been solved.
-All things are green unless they are not.
-All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
-All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
-All work and no play, will make you a manager.
-All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
-Almost went crazy. Would have been a real short trip.
-Alone: In bad company.
-Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
-Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
-Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
-Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
-Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
-Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
-Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
-America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
-Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
-An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications.
-An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's really in a rut.
-An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
-An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
-An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
-An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
-An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
-An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills.
-An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
-An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
-And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
-And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
-And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
-And it's only ones and zeros.
-And now for something completely different...
-And now for something completely the same...
-And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
-And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM
-Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
-Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
-Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!
-Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *
-Antidisestablishmentarianism!
-Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
-Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
-Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there
-Any wire cut to length will be too short.
-Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
-Are we having Fahrvergn\ 1ugen yet??
-Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan
-Are you really American if your ethnicity has to be hyphenated?
-Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
-Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry.
-Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
-As I said before, I never repeat myself.
-As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
-As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716
-As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
-Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
-Assumption is the mother of all screwups...
-Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
-Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy
-B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine
-BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
-Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
-Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
-Bad Command:(A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage
-Bad breath is better than no breath.
-Bald: follicularly challenged.
-Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
-Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
-Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
-Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
-Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1.
-Better ... stronger ... faster!
-Beware of Geeks bearing gifs.
-Beware of barking dogs that bite.
-Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers
-Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing
-Bill Clinton is the Lyin' King. ( Now playing nation wide )
-Bill Clinton thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
-Bill Clintoon: The prince of Dorkness, a caricature of a president
-Black Holes are Out of Sight
-Black holes really suck...
-Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
-Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be dissapointed.
-Bliss *IS* ignorance
-Bo Knows Taglines!
-Bo Peep did it for the insurance.
-Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
-Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies.
-Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
-Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.
-Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3
-Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER
-Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
-Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
-Brain dysfunction detected....
-Brain over - Insert coin
-Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
-Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
-Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
-Britannia waives the rules.
-Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
-Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
-Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.
-Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers
-Bullets speak louder than reason.
-Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing
-Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.
-Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise
-Bus error (Passengers dumped)
-Busier than a 1 legged man in an butt-kicking contest.
-But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
-But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car!
-But my little voice TOLD me to do it!
-But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
-But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
-But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
-Buy American!
-Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.
-Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife
-By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
-C programmer run C programmer crash C programmer quit
-C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN
-CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME
-CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.
-CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
-CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.
-CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities.
-CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman.
-CODING: AN addictive Drug.
-COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
-CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
-CRASH: Normal termination.
-CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
-CURIOSITY? Nah. I got THAT cat with a lawnmower.
-CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop
-California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected
-Can I yell 'movie' in a crowded firehouse?
-Can you find the mispelled word in hear?
-Can you repeat the part after 'Listen very carefully'?
-Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?!
-Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
-Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly!
-Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.
-Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.
-Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
-Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
-Caution: Contents under pressure
-Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked
-Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.
-Celibacy is not hereditary.
-Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
-Chernobyl used Windows
-Chess players mate better.
-Chicago runs best on a VCR.
-Chicago, an operating system Pair-of-Dimes shift!
-Chicago... The biggest thing since New Coke!
-Chicago: NT deja vu!
-Chicago? Been there. I'm ready to travel at WARP speed!
-Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
-Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
-Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
-Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
-Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
-City Planners do it with their eyes shut.
-Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
-Clark Kent is a transvestite.
-Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events.
-Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
-Cleanliness is next to impossible.
-Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
-Clinton is one Bill, George Bush can't veto...
-Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to television.
-Clones are people two.
-Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
-Close your eyes and press escape three times.
-Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...
-Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam.
-Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
-Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far!
-Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!
-Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
-Commence strategic maneuvers at audible command signal. 5, 4, 3...
-Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
-Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
-Common sense isn't...
-Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop
-Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
-Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.
-Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
-Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
-Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
-Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
-Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
-Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
-Computers run on faith, not electrons.
-Condense soup, not books!
-Conformity obstructs progress.
-Confucius say too much.
-Confucius say: I didn't say that!
-Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
-Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
-Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message!
-Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
-Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
-Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations.
-Constant change is here to stay.
-Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping.
-Converse with any plankton lately?
-Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association
-Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)?
-Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
-Couldn't myself have better it said.
-Courage atrophies from lack of use.
-Crime does not pay...as well as politics.
-Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
-Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
-Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...Boy do I love Congress
-Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
-Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
-D.A.D.D. - Daddies Against Dirty Diapers
-D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia
-D.A.M.M - Drunks Against Mad Mothers
-DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
-DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet!
-DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
-DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
-DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment
-DILATE: To live longer.
-DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.
-DIVORCE =system('echo y| erase \wife\*.*' );
-DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
-DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)!
-DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES!
-DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today!
-DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
-DOS never says 'EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!'
-DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again
-DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote.
-DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
-Daddy, what does 'Formatting Drive C:' mean?
-Dain Bramaged.
-Dang this hobby is expensive!
-Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.
-Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
-Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
-Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets.
-Death benefits = oxymoron.
-Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.
-Death is God's way of dropping carrier.
-Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'
-Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
-Death sneaks up on you as a windshield sneaks up on a bug.
-Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
-Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
-Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof!
-Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely.
-Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
-Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
-Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-Did I just step on someone's toes again?
-Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
-Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
-Die Yuppie Scum.
-Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
-Difference between Jane Fonda & Bill Clinton? Jane went to Vietnam
-Digression is education.
-Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
-Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
-Diplomacy is saying 'nice doggy' until you find a rock.
-Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way.
-Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
-Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP!
-Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
-Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.
-Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
-Disks travel in packs.
-Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
-Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
-Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART?
-Do fish get thirsty?
-Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
-Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
-Do not put statements in the negative form.
-Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
-Do steam rollers really roll steam?
-Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.
-Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
-Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
-Do you know the way to San Jose?
-Doctor Who for president
-Doctor, my brain hurts!
-Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
-Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?
-Does killing time damage eternity?
-Does the Enterprise use DOS v2356.0?
-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
-Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
-Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
-Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.
-Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
-Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss
-Don't ask me, I only work here.
-Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
-Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.
-Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood!
-Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
-Don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse.
-Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.
-Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
-Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
-Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
-Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
-Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
-Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
-Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!
-Don't let school interfere with your education.
-Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
-Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
-Don't mess with Murphy.
-Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. ... ALL RIGHT, NOW PANIC
-Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
-Don't press the keys so hard!
-Don't read everything you believe.
-Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour.
-Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.
-Don't start with me. You know how I get.
-Don't steal. The government hates competition.
-Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely
-Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.
-Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
-Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure...
-Don't try to saw sawdust.
-Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
-Don't use no double negatives.
-Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
-Down with categorical imperative!
-Down with ignurance!
-Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows!
-Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.
-Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
-Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
-Drilling for oil is boring.
-Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.
-Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead...
-Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream
-Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit.
-Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
-Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
-Dying is no excuse. Nixon in 96.
-Dyslexics are persona au gratin.
-Dyslexics have more fnu.
-Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
-EMS: Enhanced Money Scam
-ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
-EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.
-Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!
-Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.
-Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...
-Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
-Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
-Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
-Ego Gratification through Violence
-Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
-Email me the rules, please!
-Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
-Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.
-Enough research will tend to support your theory.
-Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim!
-Enter that again, just a little slower.
-Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
-Eschew obfuscation!
-Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock
-Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
-Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the middle of the desert
-Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
-Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
-Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
-Every man's work is a portrait of himself.
-Every purchase has its price.
-Every why hath a wherefore.
-Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
-Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film!
-Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
-Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
-Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
-Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend
-Everything bows to success, even grammar.
-Everything in our favor was against us.
-Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
-Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
-Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID!
-Exceeding the legal fun limit on a regular basis
-Excellent time to become a missing person.
-Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair
-Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.
-Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high...
-Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
-Exploding piglets!!! My gosh, it's raining bacon!
-Exxon Suxx.
-F.A.R.T....Fathers Against Radical Teenagers
-FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue...
-FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
-FILE COPIED. I THINK?
-FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.
-FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
-FORD: The Heartbreak of today's Chevrolet!
-Fact is solidified opinion
-Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress.
-Facts are stubborn things.
-Fad: In one era and out the other
-Familiarity breeds attempt
-Familiarity breeds children.
-Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.
-Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
-Famous last words - You and what army?
-Faster than a speeding ticket!
-Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You.
-Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever
-Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.
-Features should be discovered, not documented.
-Feel lucky???? Update your software!
-Felines... nothing more than felines...
-Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.
-Fife. n. Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
-Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
-File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
-Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition
-First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers
-Fish and visitors stink in three days.
-Flames to /dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue.
-Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs
-Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.
-Floggings will continue until morale improves.
-Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
-Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do
-Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares
-Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
-Fools rush in where Fools have been before!
-Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold
-For Sale: Slightly used message. Enquire within.
-For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country.
-For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
-For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
-For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord!
-For sale, Toilet-seat cover. Barely used.
-For the finest in brain candy.
-Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS!
-Forget the computer! Where's my abacus??
-Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram.
-Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
-Four minus two is one and the same.
-Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with '1-900'
-Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last!
-Free advice is worth what you pay for it
-Free your mind ... the rest will follow!
-Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
-Friction can be a drag sometimes.
-Friendly fire - ISN'T !
-Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate!
-Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
-Friends don't let friends drive naked.
-Friends encourage friends to use Windows - under Linux!
-Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
-Frost
-Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
-GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.
-Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
-Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks.
-Geez if you belive in honkus.
-Genealogy = A DNA square-dance in the Thighlight Zone
-General Failure reading John Dvorak
-General stupidity error reading drive C:
-Geoff, Brett and Todd...the BO-DYNASTY!!!
-George Orwell was an optimist.
-Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.
-Get the facts first - you can distort them later!
-Get your filthy hands off my dessert!
-Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly.
-Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
-Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
-Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
-Go Lemmings, Go!!!
-Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
-God created cats so that men could learn to understand women
-God does not play dice.
-God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
-Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
-Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
-Good day to let down old friends who need help.
-Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!
-Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.....
-Gotta love me!
-Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME!
-Graduate Of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling
-Gravity brings me down
-Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks.
-Great minds travel in the same sewers.
-Greed is good! Greed is right! Greed works!
-Grow your own dope... plant a man
-Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
-Grub first, then ethics.
-Gun control is being able to hit your target!
-Guns don't kill people... death does.
-Guns don't kill people..., I kill people!
-H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
-HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE!
-Hackito ergo sum.
-Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
-Hand me that crowbar... I must pry out this bullet.
-Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.
-Happiness is a warm gun.
-Happiness is a warm modem
-Happiness is finding special characters \ 1\ 2\ 1\ 2
-Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip.
-Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
-Happiness is...receiving YOUR posts!!!!
-Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
-Hard work must have killed someone!
-Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
-Hasta la vista, Baby!
-Have Tardis, will travel.
-Have an adequate day.
-Have cursor, will curse.
-Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing.
-Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?
-Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!
-Having Windows problems? Dial 1-800-3-IBM-OS2 for fast relief!
-Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate.
-He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
-He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
-He who Laughs, Lasts.
-He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
-He who asks timidly makes denial easy.
-He who dies with the most access, wins.
-He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD!
-He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
-He who hesitates is constipated.
-He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.
-He who laughs last probably made a backup.
-He who lives by the sword laughs last.
-He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
-He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
-He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
-He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
-He's dim, Jed
-He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
-Heads I win... DITTO tails
-Health food makes me sick.
-Heisenberg slept here, I think.
-Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative.
-Help fight continental drift.
-Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!
-Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
-Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.
-Help! I've been stuck in here for years and years...
-Help! Police! That guy stole my .sig! STOP!!! THIEF!!!
-Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!!
-Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone!
-Here today, gaunt tomorrow.
-Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
-Hey! This is a morgue, not an amusement park!
-Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!
-Hey, CServe/Unisys! Stick it where the sun don't shine!
-Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?
-Hi! I can't remember your name either.
-Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you.
-Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening.
-High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9.
-Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good.
-Hindsight is always 20:20.
-Hindsight is an exact science.
-Hm..what's this red button fo:=/07<NO CARRIER
-Hmm...Nice tagline. <SWIPE!> SUCKER!!! AH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-Hollow chocolate has no calories
-Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
-Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER
-Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
-Honeymoon: time between 'I do' and 'you'd better'
-Honk if you love cheeses.
-Honk if you love peace and quiet.
-Honk, if you have slept with Clinton.
-Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
-Housework done properly, can kill you
-Houston! do you read.
-How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star?
-How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
-How come wrong numbers are never busy?
-How do I set my laser printer for stun?
-How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm!
-How do you make Windows faster ? Throw it harder
-How do you pronounce my name? With reverence.
-How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
-How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
-How does one expect the unexpected?
-How long is a short story?
-How long will a floating point operation float?
-How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin?
-How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
-How many weeks are there in a light year?
-How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
-How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
-Humpty dumpty was pushed.
-Hydrate or Die.
-Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
-I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together!
-I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
-I Cayman went.
-I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse!
-I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.
-I Still miss my ex-wife.....BUT, My aim is improving!
-I Think....therefore I'm OVER QUALIFIED!!!!!!!!!
-I love it when a plan comes together!
-I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical.
-I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
-I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
-I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated.
-I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!!
-I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
-I am both of us & so are you.
-I am built for comfort, not speed!
-I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-I am functioning within established parameters.
-I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
-I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal.
-I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
-I am sweet and lovable at all times.
-I am the girl-next-door's imaginary boyfriend.
-I am what I am and that's all that I am.
-I am. Therefore, I think. I think.
-I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles.
-I bet you I could stop gambling.
-I bought a cordless extension cord.
-I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
-I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!
-I came... I saw... I stole your tagline.
-I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries
-I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!
-I can resist anything but temptation.
-I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
-I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
-I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!
-I can't believe my computer's on fire.
-I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear.
-I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
-I could be arguing in my spare time.
-I could have stuck with DOS, but NO.
-I couldn't care less about apathy.
-I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!
-I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
-I distinctly remember forgetting that.
-I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
-I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.
-I don't care if I'm apathetic.
-I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!
-I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
-I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food!
-I don't hate Windows - it runs great under Linux!
-I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
-I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
-I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.
-I don't think, therefore I am not.
-I don't want the world, I just want your half.
-I drink to make other people interesting.
-I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.
-I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
-I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late
-I feel the need......the need for speed!
-I finally washed the mud off of mud.
-I find myself beside a stream of empty thought
-I float like an anchor and sting like a moth.
-I get mail........ I exist.
-I give advice worth the price....free!
-I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
-I guess a cynic smells different.
-I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
-I had amnesia once or twice.
-I had my coat hangers spayed.
-I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
-I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
-I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers
-I have a rock garden. 3 of them died last week.
-I have a speech impediment... my foot.
-I have already not made that point
-I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!
-I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
-I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A' in astronomy
-I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
-I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
-I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
-I is a college student.
-I is knot dain bramaged!
-I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
-I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
-I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words
-I know everything about everything, except that.
-I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
-I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!
-I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
-I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
-I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
-I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.
-I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
-I lost a button hole today.
-I lost my knickers at Niagara.
-I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!
-I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
-I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up
-I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me.
-I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
-I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
-I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
-I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
-I never met a chocolate I didn't like!
-I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!!
-I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
-I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!
-I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
-I post.......... I am
-I promise results, not promises.
-I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
-I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars.
-I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.
-I smashed a Window and saw... Linux!
-I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone.
-I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!
-I think, therefore I am. I think.
-I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
-I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.
-I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.
-I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.
-I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
-I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
-I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
-I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.
-I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
-I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
-I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.
-I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem.
-I wake near the end of the day.
-I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option.
-I warn you not to underestimate my powers.
-I was arrested for selling illegal sized paper.
-I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
-I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off....
-I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days!
-I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
-I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.
-I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!
-I wrote a few children's books, but not on purpose.
-I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
-I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous
-I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
-I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back..
-I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.
-I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.
-I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore
-I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.
-I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Phillip.
-I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.
-I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.
-I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.
-I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
-I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
-I'd love to, but none of my socks match.
-I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
-I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.
-I'd rather be bicycling!
-I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!
-I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!
-I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit!
-I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.
-I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead!
-I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.
-I'm Serfectly Pober.
-I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum!
-I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride!
-I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay!
-I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
-I'm an Debian developer...I don't NEED a life!
-I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate.
-I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!
-I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.
-I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.
-I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
-I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
-I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
-I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown!
-I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.
-I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it?
-I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
-I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.
-I'm new and what's all this then?
-I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met...
-I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
-I'm not as dumb as you look.
-I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.
-I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged.
-I'm not even going to ignore that.
-I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.
-I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished
-I'm not lost, I'm 'locationally challenged.'
-I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
-I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right!
-I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
-I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.
-I'm not rude, I'm 'attitudinally challenged'.
-I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me!
-I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
-I'm on the crest of a slump.
-I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
-I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
-I'm schizophrenic, What are you?
-I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.
-I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
-I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's
-I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere...
-I'm the person your mother warned you about.
-I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head.
-I'm turning you in to the SPCA!
-I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
-I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine.
-I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
-I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
-I've had fun before. This isn't it.
-I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.
-I've seen the future. I can't afford it.
-IBM: I've Been Misled
-IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
-IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more
-IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
-INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.
-Ideas are not responsible for their followers!
-If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs...
-If Clinton's the answer, it must have been a really stupid question.
-If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.
-If I can't win, I don't wanna play!
-If I had anything witty to say, I wouldn't put it here.
-If I had been using Windoze, I'd still be writing this.
-If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
-If I save time, when do I get it back ?
-If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
-If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
-If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
-If I were you, who'd be me?
-If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
-If The Shoe Fits - The Sock Fits !
-If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
-If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound?
-If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
-If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
-If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
-If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!
-If at first you don't succeed, hide your astonishment.
-If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test.
-If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
-If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
-If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
-If at first you don't succeed, you must be using Windows.
-If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!
-If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.
-If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
-If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
-If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
-If it glows don't touch it!
-If it has feelings, its not cooked enough!
-If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
-If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
-If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO !!
-If it works, tear it apart and find out why!
-If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it.
-If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
-If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
-If it's not worth doing well, it's not worth doing.
-If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid
-If it's too loud, you're too old.
-If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
-If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
-If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
-If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
-If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
-If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
-If speed scares you, try Windows...
-If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth.
-If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
-If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
-If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
-If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
-If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
-If winning isn't important then why keep score?
-If you associate with the wise, you will become wise.
-If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
-If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
-If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
-If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
-If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
-If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
-If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
-If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
-If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
-If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
-If you hear an onion ring please answer it.
-If you mess with something long enough it'll break.
-If you must drink and drive, drive a Yugo!
-If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
-If you say nothing, no one will repeat it.
-If you see an onion ring, ANSWER IT!
-If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
-If you wish work poorly done, pay in advance.
-If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
-If you're not the solution, you're the precipitate.
-If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush..
-If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
-Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines!
-Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
-Illiterate? Write for free help.
-Imagery is All In The Mind.
-Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality
-Impropriety is the soul of wit.
-In God we trust, all others pay cash.
-In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
-In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death
-In case of fire, yell 'FIRE!'
-In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
-In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.
-In war there is no substitute for victory.
-Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
-Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
-Individualists of the world, UNITE!
-Inertia makes the world go round.
-Inferiority complex: conviction by a jury of your fears.
-Innovate or Die.
-Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
-Insanity is just a state of mind.
-Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
-Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.
-Interchangeable parts won't.
-Internal combustion engines are the dinosaurs' revenge
-International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves.
-Interstellar Matter is a Gas
-Invisible Systems, Inc. If you don't see it, we made it.
-Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
-Is 'tired old cliche' one?
-Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
-Is it in my head...or in my heart?
-Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
-Is it possible to feel gruntled?
-Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
-Is there life before coffee?
-Is this a machine? I don't talk to machines! [Click]
-Is this the right room for an argument?
-It all looks the same if you're not the lead dog.
-It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES!
-It compiled, first screen came up?? Ship it! --Bill Gates
-It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
-It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
-It has many other uses as well. Allow me. - Worf
-It is always better to sacrifice your opponent's men
-It is bad luck to be superstitious.
-It is better to be brief than boring.
-It is better to wear out than to rust out.
-It is broke. It will not work. It does not go.
-It is fatal to live too long.
-It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
-It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
-It is much easier to be critical than to be correct
-It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time.
-It really bothers me when people cut me o...
-It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit!
-It works better if you plug it in.
-It's 10:00 PM...do YOU know where YOUR tagline is?
-It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim.
-It's a Tough Job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
-It's a fine line between fishing & standing still
-It's a fine night to have an evening.
-It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
-It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
-It's an ill wind that gathers no moss.
-It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
-It's bad luck to be superstitious.
-It's been a business doing pleasure with you.
-It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
-It's best to leave quickly when you make noises like that...
-It's better to burn out than to fade away.
-It's clever, but is it art?
-It's de\ 2ja\ 5 vu all over again.
-It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
-It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.
-It's easy to apply yourself, just use crazy glue!
-It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.
-It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
-It's hard to be serious when you're naked.
-It's life Jim, but not as we know it.
-It's like Deja Vu all over again...
-It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
-It's more than a reader. It's a message base manager!
-It's never too late to have a happy childhood
-It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi
-It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere!
-It's not in the manual!
-It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession!
-It's not pretty being easy.
-It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.
-It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
-It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money
-It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?
-It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only
-It's only ones and zeros.
-It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim.
-It's smart to pick your friends, but not your nose.
-It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC !
-It's true, forgiveness IS easier to get than permission
-Its a JOKE, like the funny kind but different.
-Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
-JFK: I need this motorcade like a hole in my head!
-James Bond rules. 00K.
-Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
-Jet Engine Theory -Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!
-Join the Group Mind - become a Borg
-Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
-Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron.
-Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
-Just because you're STUPID ain't no excuse.
-Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me!
-Just do it.
-Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here
-Just how much leg have I got
-Just my 78,000 lira worth.
-Just what part of 'NO' didn't you understand...?
-Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.
-Justice is incidental to law and order.
-Justice: A decision in your favor.
-Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Experienced only need apply.
-Keep America beautiful.. properly dispose of your lawyer.
-Keep a clear head and always carry a lightbulb.
-Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
-Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue
-Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.
-Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
-Kill them all! .... Let God sort them out.
-Killer Rabbit's Motto: 'Lettuce Prey.'
-Kilroy occupied these coordinates.
-Kleptomania: take something for it
-Know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions!
-Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.
-LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
-LISTEN HERE! I HAVE FIRST AMENDENT RIGH(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER
-LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
-Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that?
-Land of the Single Entendre...
-Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
-Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
-Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.
-Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
-Lesser artists borrow. Great artists steal.
-Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!
-Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
-Let's split up, we can do more damage that way.
-Liberal - a power worshiper without power.
-Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.
-Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
-Life can be great if you live it to the fullest!
-Life is a sandwich, and it's always lunchtime
-Life is a series of very rude awakenings.
-Life is like a Car-wash and I'm on a bicycle.
-Life is only as long as you live it.
-Life is serious, but ART is fun!
-Life is tough. It's tougher when you're stupid.
-Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
-Life sucks, but Death swallows!
-Life would be easier if I had the source code.
-Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
-Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
-Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
-Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
-Likes and dislikes are among my favorites
-Linux, the choice of a GNU generation.
-Liposuction will destroy your FAT
-Lisp programmers have to stop and collect garbage.
-Live before you die.
-Living poor is best left to those with no money.
-Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
-Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
-Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
-Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
-M.A.D.D.: Midgets Against Desk Drawers.
-MOPAR = Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly!
-MS Windows -- From the people who brought you EDLIN!
-MS-DOS: celebrating ten years of obsolescence
-Macho does not prove Mucho.
-Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
-Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
-Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
-Make it do ... Or do without.
-Make like a Tom and Cruise.
-Make like a baby and head out.
-Make like a banana and split.
-Make like a drum and beat it!
-Make like a tree and leave.
-Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
-Make up a language and ask people for directions.
-Man has his will. Woman has her won't!
-Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.
-Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling
-Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself
-Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
-Man who run behind car get exhausted.
-Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon
-Marching to a different kettle of fish.
-Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
-Math is the language God used to write the universe.
-May I please be excused? My Brain is full.
-May the Porsche be with you.
-May you live in interesting times.
-May your life be filled with experiences.
-Me know gammar. Me cood use it gud.
-Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve it's dignity
-Meditation is not what you Think.
-Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss...
-Megabyte: A nine course dinner.
-Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves!
-Memory is a thing we forget with.
-Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
-Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence
-Microfiche: Sardines.
-Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
-Microsoft gives you Windows... Linux gives you the whole house.
-Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties
-Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
-Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
-Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting!
-Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
-Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.
-Money is the root of all wealth.
-Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
-Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition.
-Most of us have been at work for several hours now.
-Mother is the invention of necessity.
-Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!
-Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
-Murphy is out there... waiting...
-Murphy was an optimist.
-Murphy's law needs to be repealed.
-Must Go - My Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.
-My *taglines* are original. *I* am a copy.
-My RAM's not what it used to be, so don't quote me.
-My attention isn't hard to get. It IS hard to keep...
-My best friend is a social worker.
-My computer has a terminal illness
-My computer's sick, I think my modem's a carrier
-My couch potato routine honed to perfection
-My fallacies are more logical than your fallacies.
-My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
-My hat covers my head... Just like hair used to!
-My haystack had no needle!
-My head is sore, and there's a hole in the brick wall!
-My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.
-My karma ran over your dogma.
-My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring
-My message above. Your response here ____________.
-My other computer is a Cray Y/MP-4!
-My other computer is a HAL 9000.
-My other computer is an abacus.
-My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
-My reality check just bounced.
-My tagline can beat up your tagline!
-My weight is perfect for my height... which varies.
-NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
-NETWORK: What fishermen do when not fishing.
-NEWS! Drunk gets nine months in violin case
-NEWS! Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
-NEWS! Iraqi head seeks arms
-NEWS! Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
-NEWS! Stolen painting found by tree
-NEWS! Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
-NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company!
-NUMBER CRUNCHING: Jumping on a Computer.
-Naaah, real men don't read docs.
-Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.
-Neil Armstrong tripped.
-Neither rain, nor snow, nor l?ne n*oi*se
-Neurotic: Self-taut person.
-Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.
-Never assume. It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'.
-Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
-Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you
-Never eat anything bigger than your head.
-Never eat more than you can lift.
-Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
-Never go with the odds
-Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
-Never judge a man by his taglines.
-Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.
-Never mind the facts - I know what I know.
-Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone.
-Never say, 'Oops!'; always say, 'Ah, interesting!'
-Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
-Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers
-Never trust a skinny cook.
-Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
-Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
-New Highway gets Railroaded.
-Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
-Nihilism should commence with oneself.
-Ninety per cent of everything is crap.
-Nitpicking: Not just a hobby, it's a way of life!
-Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
-No .sig is a good .sig
-No free lunch in an ecosystem.
-No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!!
-No one ever said 'if I'd only spent more time in the office'
-No radio. Already stolen.
-No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
-No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
-No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space.
-Nobody roots for Goliath.
-Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
-Nodding the head does not row the boat.
-None of you exist, my Sysop types all this in.
-Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
-Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie.
-Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
-Not many people realize just how well known I am.
-Not now, John, we gotta get on with the game show...
-Not quite human any longer.
-Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
-Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come
-Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
-Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
-Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason
-Nothing recedes like success.
-Nothing succeeds like excess.
-Now entering Iowa. Please set your clocks back 20 years.
-Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
-Now is not a good time to annoy me
-Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
-Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?
-O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
-OK Scotty, detonate and energize NOW! No, wait, I mean.......
-OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
-OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
-OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
-Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: 'Use the FORKS, Luke!'
-Objection, your Honor! My client is an idiot!
-Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder
-Objects in taglines are closer than they appear.
-Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them
-Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
-Of course I'm running Windows[kVxB NO CARRIER
-Oh goody! Another Muranium Explosive Space Modulator!
-Oh no you don't! You're not stealing this one!
-Oh no, not another learning experience!
-Oh, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works!
-Ok, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going?
-Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC
-Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O
-Old age is better than the alternative.
-On a clear disk you can seek forever.
-On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
-On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts
-One atom bomb can really ruin your day.
-One good turn gets most of the blanket.
-One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines.
-One man's Windows are another man's walls...
-One man's upload is another man's download
-One night I came home very late. It was the next night
-One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day.
-One way to better your lot is to do a lot better...
-One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
-Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
-Only cosmetologists give make-up exams.
-Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
-Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Chew Carefully.
-Optimization hinders evolution.
-Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
-Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
-Our necessities are few but our wants are endless...
-Out here in the fields...I fight for my meals...!
-Out of Memory!? But I fed you 6 Megs this morning!
-Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
-Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees!
-Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.
-Oxymoron - Definite possibility
-Oxymoron - Military Intelligence
-Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire
-Oxymoron: Soviet Union.
-PC! Politically Correct (or) Pure Crap!
-PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
-PI seconds is a nanocentury. - Tom Duff, Bell Labs
-PKZip - it's not just for downloads anymore
-Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
-Palindrome isn't one.
-Pandemonium doesn't reign here... It pours!
-Paranoia is heightened awareness.
-Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
-Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload.
-Pascal: What's it Wirth?
-Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
-Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!
-Pay your electric bill in pennies.
-Peace through superior firepower.
-People are always available for work in the past tense.
-People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
-People who live in glass houses shouldn't!
-People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
-Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Millionaire, Skipper & Gilligan.
-Pet Store: 'Buy one, get one flea.'
-Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.
-Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
-Pizza IS the four food groups!
-Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
-Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.
-Plankton lobbyist: 'NUKE THE WHALES!'
-Plasma is another matter.
-Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
-Please call the windows police. I've caught another gpf.
-Please don't drink and post.
-Please don't take my sunshine away.
-Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough.
-Pobody's Nerfect!
-Poets go from bad to verse
-Point not found. A)bort, R)eread, I)gnore.
-Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
-Political panjandrums prologize pedantic paronomasia.
-Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
-Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
-Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
-Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
-Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
-Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-Predestination was doomed from the start.
-Predicting the future of technology is fraud with peril!
-Prejudice is the reason of fools. - Voltaire.
-Preserve wildlife... pickle a rat.
-Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue...
-Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
-Press any key...NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT ONE!!!!!!
-Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.
-Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.
-Program too small to fit into memory.
-Programming is an art form that fights back.
-Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
-Prosecutors will be violated
-Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
-Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
-Push the limit, and the limit will move away!
-Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something.
-Put people on hold when possible.
-Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
-Quasimodo is a dead ringer.
-Question Authority, ask me anything
-RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!
-Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.
-Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
-Random order = oxymoron
-Rap music = oxymoron
-Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages.
-Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
-Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
-Real men don't set for stun.
-Real men write self-modifying code.
-Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle buttons
-Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
-Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
-Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-Really ?? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
-Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
-Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
-Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing
-Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.
-Refuse Novocain...Transcend Dental Medication!
-Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
-Remember, If you're not in bed by 10:30..... go home!
-Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS.
-Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
-Resistance Is Useless! (If < 1 ohm)
-Return((usBirdInHand = 2 * InTheBush()));
-Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
-Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
-Road Kill Cafe: You kill 'em, we grill 'em.
-Roses are red, Violet's are blue, And mine are white.
-Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens
-Round up the usual suspects!
-Rubber bands have snappy endings!
-Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
-S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . .
-SCUD : Sure Could Use Directions
-STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.
-STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere!
-SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!
-SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue...
-Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
-Sarcasm: barbed ire.
-Save California; when you leave take someone with you.
-Save energy: be apathetic.
-Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
-Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
-Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!
-Say yer prayers, y' flea-bitten' varmint.
-Schizophrenia beats being alone.
-Science asks why. I ask why not.
-Science: preconception meeting verification.
-Scientists discover life causes cancer.
-Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*z~% NO CARRIER
-Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.
-See how you can be?
-Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.
-Send lawyers, guns, & money...
-Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious!
-Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
-Serving the scum of Paris for over 300 years
-Set mode=Extremely verbose
-Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!
-Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home!
-ShelfDoze is a registered Trademark of M$.
-Shell to DOS... come in DOS... Do you copy?
-Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors!
-Shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark..
-Shoot your program and put it out of its memory!
-Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol
-Short people are vertically challenged.
-Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!
-Should I weed the lawn or say it's a garden?
-Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you.
-Sign here please:_______________________Thanks
-Sign on Closed Nuclear Power Plant... 'Gone Fission'
-Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
-Signito ergo sum - I sign therefore I am.
-Simon says: don't be so suggestible.
-Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
-Six of one, 110 (base 2) of another.
-Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.
-Slower Traffic Keep Right - Is that so difficult?
-Slug Sautee: a hors of a different d'oeuvre.
-Small changes pick up the reins from nowhere.
-Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
-Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
-Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
-Smiley faces were meant to be annoying.
-Smokey the Bear says, 'Strip mining prevents forest fires!'
-Smoking cures weight problems...eventually.
-Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
-Smurf exterminator.
-So many bytes, so few cps.
-So many lawyers, so few bullets.
-So many pedestrians, so little time.
-So many toys, so little time...
-So much time, and so little to do.
-Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
-Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.
-Software means never having to say you're finished
-Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't.
-Some People....
-Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
-Some days, nothing goes left.
-Some little dipstick stole all my good taglines...
-Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under...
-Some people are so nice to be nasty to.
-Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane.
-Some things have got to be believed to be seen.
-Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
-Something is rotten in the state of confusion.
-Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
-Sorry about your Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
-Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
-Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
-Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope)
-Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.
-Space is big. Really big.
-Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer!
-Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.
-Spell chequers dew knot work write.
-Spice is the variety of life.
-Stamp out philately!
-Standing there making a sitting target of himself.
-Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive.
-Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!
-Sterility is hereditary.
-Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline ©
-Strike any user when ready.
-Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
-Subvert the dominant paradigm!
-Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
-Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.
-Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius
-Supernovae are a Blast
-Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
-Support the helpless victims of computers.
-Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
-Swish, two, three, four! Swish, two, three, four!
-Sylvester Stallone: father of the RISC concept.
-THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules
-TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Tact: knowing how far to go too far.
-Tact: making a point without making an enemy.
-Tagline Lotto: 2222222222<- Scratch here for prize.
-Tagline theft is a compliment.
-Taglines \'tag-l\ 4inz \ The bumperstickers of the internet
-Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS!
-Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
-Take two crows and caw me in the morning
-Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.
-Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
-Teamwork is essential. It gives them another target.
-Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
-Thank you very little.
-That ain't so good English!
-That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
-That that is is not that that is not.
-That was ZEN -- this is TAO
-That'll be $67.50 CCCHHHHHIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!
-That's inches away from being millimeter perfect.
-The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt!
-The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.
-The French defense isn't...
-The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
-The Lab called,..... Your brain is ready!
-The Magic of Windows: Turns a 486 back into a PC/XT.
-The Microsoft Motto: 'We're the leaders, wait for us!'
-The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL...
-The Tour de France!
-The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain
-The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
-The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave Rome without it.
-The backup's not over 'til the FAT table sings!
-The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
-The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-The best defense against logic is stupidity.
-The best defense is to stay out of range.
-The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
-The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.
-The best way to win an argument is to be right.
-The buck doesn't even slow down here!
-The cause of problems are solutions!
-The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!
-The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
-The cream rises to the top. So does the scum...
-The days of the digital watch are numbered
-The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
-The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
-The evidence before the court is...INCONTROVERTIBLE!
-The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
-The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it
-The first myth of management is that it exists.
-The first rule of intelligent tinkering is save all parts!
-The fish that escaped is the big one.
-The further I go, the behinder I get.
-The future isn't what it used to be.
-The game's a little bit wide open again.
-The gene pool has no lifeguard.
-The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
-The hangman let us down.
-The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
-The heart is wiser than the intellect...
-The irony of life is that no one gets out alive...
-The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
-The little engineer that could
-The longer the title, the less important the job.
-The man who begins many things finishes few.
-The margin is very marginal.
-The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's OK with you
-The mind is like a parachute - it works only when open.
-The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on...
-The next thing to do is hang all the consultants.
-The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.
-The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER
-The pen is mightier than the pencil.
-The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.
-The pendulum has gone full circle.
-The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
-The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
-The road to success is always under construction.
-The score didn't really reflect the outcome.
-The secret of the universe is~~*#~** FF * NO CARRIER
-The shortest distance between two points is off the wall
-The simple explanation always follows the complex solution
-The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
-The soul would have no heart had the eyes no tears...
-The superfluous is very necessary.
-The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby
-The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter...
-The unnatural, that too is natural.
-The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
-The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
-The whole world is about three drinks behind
-The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
-The worst thing about censorship is **************************.
-The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
-Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream....
-There are 2 ways to handle women and I know neither.
-There are many things I could say...
-There are no atheists in the foxholes.
-There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
-There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
-There is much Obiwan did not tell you.
-There is no dark side of the moon. Really.
-There is no finish line.
-There is no remedy for fun but more fun!
-There is no vaccine against stupidity.
-There is something to be said about me: 'Wow!!'
-There will be no last bus tonight.
-There's a hot place with pitchforks waiting.
-There's no future in time travel
-There's no such thing as a free lunch, but you can always find someone willing to treat.
-There's one in every car... You'll see.
-There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
-There's safety in numbers/When you learn to divide.
-Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
-They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!
-Things are not what they seem.
-Think 'HONK' if you're a telepath.
-Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
-This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man.
-This Country Needs Group Therapy.
-This ain't no party...this ain't no disco...
-This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
-This is a Tagline mirror ][ rorrim enilgaT a si sihT
-This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
-This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is.
-This is not a fairing, it's a force field.
-This is only a test.
-This is our only tag line.
-This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
-This line intentionally left unjustified.
-This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88
-This message has been UNIXized for your protection.
-This message is SHAREWARE! To Register, send $5.
-This message was typed on recycled phosphorous.
-This mind intentionally left blank.
-This program makes me look like a genius.
-This sentence is false.
-This tagline does not require Micro$oft Windows.
-This tagline intentionally left blank.
-This tagline is umop apisdn
-This tagline only to be removed by the consumer.
-This tagline was created from many little letters.
-This tagline was reclaimed and is not yet stolen.
-This tagline was written before a live studio audience.
-Those who can't write, write manuals.
-Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
-Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise!
-Those who live by the nit, die by the nit
-Those without heads do not need hats.
-Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
-Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!
-Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
-Time flies like an arrow - Fruit flies like a banana
-Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
-Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
-Tis better to be hunter than hunted.
-Tis better to have loved a short than to never have loved a tall.
-Tis better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
-To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
-To boldly go and watch Star Trek re-runs.
-To do nothing is also a good remedy.
-To eat is human, to digest, divine.
-To err is human, to eat Jello, is messy.
-To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
-To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer.
-To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
-To err is human. To moo bovine
-To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
-To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
-To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
-To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
-To me personally, it's nothing personal to me.
-To shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
-Today is Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday.
-Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
-Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
-Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
-Todays subliminal message is ' '
-Tolkien is hobbit-forming.
-Tongue tied & twisted, just an earthbound misfit I.
-Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
-Too much is never enough.
-Too much month at the end of the money.
-Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
-Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
-Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.
-Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.
-Trees hit cars only in self-defence.
-Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
-Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
-Trig..a..name...o...tree!!!
-Truck Pulls: for people who cannot understand the WWF
-Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.
-Truth is just another misconception.
-Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
-Try to get back on topic, he said moderately.
-Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo
-Try? Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
-Trying to think of a good tagline...
-Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
-Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right!
-Turning floppies into hard drives.
-Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
-Two heads are more numerous than one.
-Two most common elements: hydrogen, stupidity.
-Tyre Shop sign - We Skid You Not.
-UART what UEAT!
-UNNAMED LAW: If it happens, it must be possible.
-Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!
-Ultimate Question Research Team
-Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
-Unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.
-Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
-Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
-Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
-Until people grow up, they have no idea what's cool
-Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa bill.
-Users, losers -- what's the difference?
-Using yesterday's technology to solve today's problems, tomorrow
-VLSI: 'Getting High On Low Voltage'
-Vampires Against Mundane Poetry.
-Variables won't; constants aren't.
-Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
-Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
-Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.
-Vote Democratic... It's easier than getting a job.
-Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
-Vulcans have less fun.
-Vultures only fly with carrion luggage.
-W.A.R.P.: We Are Real Programmers.
-WAITER! there's soup in my fly!
-WARNING ... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!
-WARNING: my messages are offensive to morons!
-WINDOWS ERROR #004: Operator fell asleep while waiting.
-WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
-WYGIWYD -What you got is what you deserved.
-WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get.
-Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit
-Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
-Walls impede my progress
-Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!
-Want a LAUGH run a spell check on DSZ docs.
-Want a jelly baby?
-Want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!
-Wanted: Volcano. Average size. Must be active.
-War News: Saddam's army blown away by Thai hookers.
-Warning: Whimsical when bored
-Warning: Politicians can damage your wealth.
-Warranty void if tagline removed.
-Was today really Necessary?
-Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
-Wasting time is an important part of living.
-We all live in a yellow subroutine.
-We are not a clone.
-We are the people our parents warned us about
-We don't care. We don't have to. We're Telecom...
-We have here the latest in primitive technology.
-We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here
-We should limit congressmen to two terms: one in Congress, one in prison
-We take drugs very seriously at my house...
-We were unanimous - in fact everyone was unanimous.
-We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force
-We're as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.
-We're lost, but we're making good time.
-We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
-Weeping, I wake; waking, I weep, I weep.
-Welcome to Texas, now go home.
-Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray
-Well cover me in egg & flour and bake me for 14 minutes
-What are you doing?!? The message is over,GO AWAY!
-What can you do for me?
-What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
-What could possibly go wrong.
-What do batteries run on?
-What do you mean that 2 years have passed??
-What do you think?
-What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
-What does ignorant mean?
-What does this red button do?
-What else can you do at 3:00 am?
-What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
-What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
-What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.
-What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.
-What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture.
-What's another word for 'thesaurus?'
-What's brown and sticky? A stick!
-When 911 won't work .357 will!
-When in doubt, think.
-When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect 'Hungry'
-When your opponent is down, kick him.
-Where does weight go when you lose it?
-Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
-Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
-Who cares who's on board?
-Who glued the cup to the table?
-Who is 'they' anyway?
-Whosoever diggeth a pit shall falleth therein.
-Why am I asking all these things?
-Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
-Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
-Why are you wasting time reading taglines?
-Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?
-Why can't we just spell it orderves?
-Why did you read this?
-Why do people cry when they're sad?
-Why do they tell us to watch 'The Today Show' tomorrow?
-Why do we elect people and then become afraid of them?
-Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
-Why do you think they call it 'find'?
-Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
-Why does the beginning of your sentence end up in the middle of mine?
-Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
-Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
-Why get even, when you can get odd?
-Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
-Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled 'palindromeemordnilap'?
-Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
-Will the sound of one hand clapping still turn off my TV?
-Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat
-Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue...
-Windows N'T: as in Wouldn't, Couldn't, and Didn't.
-Windows NT: Only 16 megs needed to play Minesweeper!
-Windows NT: The world's only 80 megabyte Solitaire game!
-Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
-Windows error 000 : No errors found! [CLOSE]
-Windows is *NOT* a virus. Viruses *DO* something!
-Windows is for fun, Linux is for getting things done.
-Windows is the best GUI - It always sticks!
-Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's 'Functionally Challenged'.
-Windows only crashes itself under Linux. Not the whole machine.
-Windows would look better with curtains.
-Windows: The answer to a question nobody has ever asked.
-Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
-WindowsNT: From the makers of Doublespace
-Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
-Wit is cultured insolence.
-Without Time, everything would happen at once.
-Without music, life would be a mistake.
-Women - can't live with 'em and no resale value...
-Women do come with instructions; ask them.
-Women get minks the same way minks get minks.
-Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.
-Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy
-World ends today at 9:30 pm! Film at 11:00...
-Worry : The interest paid on trouble before it's due
-Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe
-Would I ask you a rhetorical question?
-Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
-You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
-You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.
-You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish.
-You can't have everything...where would you put it?
-You hit the nail right between the eyes.
-You're it.
-You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to.
-Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
-Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage!
-Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
-Yuk, what kind of dumb menu system is that? Oh, so that is Windows!
-Zen T-Shirt: Enlightenment Available - Enquire Within
-[DISCLAIMER: my fingers are epileptic]
-[If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses]
-hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
-Serenity through viciousness.
-FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!
-Include me out.
-YOW!! I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!
-'That boy's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver' -- Foghorn Leghorn
-Pardon me while I laugh.
-Vegeterians beware! You are what you eat.
-Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
-'From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.' -- Dr. Seuss
-You'll be sorry...
-The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
-UH-OH!! We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS!
-I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.
-Paranoia is heightened awareness.
-The things that interest people most are usually none of their business.
--- /dev/null
+# Revised: 20071016
+# Author: Tim Riker <Tim@Rikers.org>
+###
+
+main: I learn mainly by observing declarative statements such as "x is at http://www.xxx.com", and then reply when people ask things like "where can i find x?"
+
+action: This is used to override the usual response. "x is <action> does the hokey-pokey". When asked about x, the bot does this "* infobot does the hokey-pokey"
+
+alternation: The || symbol in an entry causes an infobot to choose one of the replies at random. "X is Y||Z" will produce "X is Y" or "X is Z" randomly.
+
+author: oznoid (mailto:lenzo@ri.cmu.edu) is my original author.
+
+dollar variables: D: To be used in factoids
+dollar variables: $Fdunno - ...
+dollar variables: $Fquestion - ...
+dollar variables: $Fupdate - ...
+dollar variables: $channel - channel from which the factoid was requested
+dollar variables: $date - current date (GMT)
+dollar variables: $day - day of week (full name, locale)
+dollar variables: $factoids - factoid count
+dollar variables: $host - hostname of factoid requester
+dollar variables: $ident - bot nick
+dollar variables: $lastspeaker - ...
+dollar variables: $memusage - ...
+dollar variables: $rand - random number, also $rand100.2
+dollar variables: $randnick - random nick
+dollar variables: $startTime - start time
+dollar variables: $time - current time (GMT)
+dollar variables: $uptime - ...
+dollar variables: $user - username of factoid requester
+dollar variables: $who - nick of factoid requester
+
+corrections: If I come back with "...but x is at http://xx.xx.xx" or something like that, and you want to change the entry, use "no, x is at http://sdfsdfsdf". The "No," tells me to supercede the existing value.
+corrections: you can append stuff to a factoid with "also". "x is also at ..."
+
+math: D: math expresions can be evaluated. This uses Perl syntax.
+math: E: 1+1
+math: + - add
+math: - - subtract
+math: * - multiply
+math: / - division
+math: ** - to the power
+math: pi - pi
+math: & - and
+math: | = or
+math: ^ - xor
+
+redirection: If a factoid x contains simply "<reply> see y", then when asked for x, I will deliver factoidor command result y instead.
+
+reply: There is a special tag, <reply>, that is used to override the usual response. Usually, a response is "X is Y", but it can be made "Y" by making the entry "X is <reply> Y".
+
+# now the commands...
+
+adduser: D: Administrative command to add new user to the .users file
+adduser: U: ## <user> <mask>
+adduser: E: ## bloot bloot!bloot@example.com
+
+addressing: It is a good idea if I stay in REQUIRE mode so that I won't yell out random crap if I listen in too hard. Currently there is no way to turn this off on-the-fly. (REQUIRE mode requires me to be addressed by name if I am to respond)
+
+babelfish: D: Frontend to babelfish translating service provided by http://babelfish.altavista.com/ Note that utf8 is used for non-ascii characters.
+babelfish: U: x <fromLang> <toLang> <words>
+babelfish: U: translate <fromLang> <toLang> <words>
+babelfish: E: x en de your cars rock
+
+-ban: D: FIXME:
+-ban: U: ## <mask|user>
+-ban: E: ## *!*@owns.org
+-ban: E: ## MoronMan
+
++ban: D: FIXME:
++ban: U: ## <mask|user> [chan] [time] [reason]
++ban: E: ## *!*@owns.org #bots 60 stop flooding.
++ban: E: ## *!*@*microsoft.com STOOPID
++ban: E: ## MoronMan
+
+botmail: D: Send someone botmail
+botmail: U: ## {for <who>[:] <message>}|stats|check|read
+botmail: E: ## for infobot: you rock!
+botmail: E: ## stats
+botmail: E: ## check
+botmail: E: ## read
+
+-chan: D: Leave a channel permanently
+-chan: U: ## -#channel
+-chan: E: ## -#botpark
+
++chan: D: Join a channel permanently
++chan: U: ## #channel
++chan: E: ## #botpark
+
+chaninfo: D: Display channel statistics on Op, Ban, Deop, Unban, Part, Join, SignOff, PublicMsg, Kick and Topic
+chaninfo: U: ## [#channel]
+chaninfo: E: ##
+chaninfo: E: ## #botpark
+
+chanset: D: set a variable for a channel
+chanset: U: ## [#chan] [what] [val]
+chanset: E: ## #c +test
+chanset: E: ## #c -test
+chanset: E: ## #c test
+chanset: E: ## #c test 0
+chanset: E: ## #c test testing123
+
+chanunset: D: remove a variable from a channel
+chanunset: U: ## <#chan> [what]
+chanunset: E: ## #c
+chanunset: E: ## #c test
+
+chattr: D: Change flags on a user (see "help flags")
+chattr: U: ## <user> [flags]
+chattr: E: ## bloot +nmo
+chattr: E: ## bloot -ot
+chattr: E: ## bloot
+
+chnick: D: rename a nick (user) entry
+chnick: U: ## [nick] <new-nick>
+chnick: E: ## moron
+chnick: E: ## owner eleet
+
+chpass: D: Change a user's password
+chpass: U: ## [user] <pass>
+chpass: E: ## testing
+chpass: E: ## testing test0R
+
+contents: D: Debian Contents search only (no Packages)
+contents: U: ## <string> [dist]
+contents: E: ## strings.h
+contents: E: ## x11amp potato
+
+cookie: I can feed your appetite with random factoids.
+
+cpustats: cpustats dumps the bot's cpu usage this session
+
+crypt: It's good that you thought about encryption. I can do it for you.
+crypt: U: ## <salt> <string>
+crypt: E: ## 69 changeme
+crypt: E: ## $1$abcde changeme
+
+cycle: D: Causes me to cycle in the channel it's said, or in the named channel
+cycle: U: ## [channel]
+cycle: E: ##
+cycle: E: ## #botpark
+
+dauthor: D: Find Debian package maintainers, and list the packages they maintain
+dauthor: U: ## <string> [dist]
+dauthor: E: ## Wichert
+dauthor: E: ## Wichert potato
+
+dbugs: D: Show the current count of release critical bugs (latest versions)
+dbugs: U: ##
+
+deluser: D: Administrative command to remove a user from the .users file
+deluser: U: ## <user>
+deluser: E: ## bloot
+
+ddesc: D: Search the Description: lines in Debian packages
+ddesc: U: ## <string> [dist]
+ddesc: E: ## mule
+ddesc: E: ## mule potato
+
+dfind: D: Debian Packages (fallback to Contents) search
+dfind: U: ## <string> [dist]
+dfind: E: ## strings.h
+dfind: E: ## x11amp potato
+
+dict: D: DICT Protocol Client - likely dicts: elements web1913 wn gazetteer jargon foldoc easton hitchcock devils world02 vera
+dict: U: ## [entry num] <query>[/dict]
+dict: E: ## linux
+dict: E: ## 33 set/wn
+
+dns: D: Query DNS
+dns: U: ## <host|ip>
+dns: E: ## debian.org
+dns: E: ## 3.1.33.7
+
+do: D: operator command to do things in a channel
+do: U: ## <chan> <what>
+
+dstats: D: Show basic stats on the current size of the Debian distros
+dstats: U: ## [dist]
+dstats: E: ##
+dstats: E: ## potato
+
+factinfo: D: View statistical information about a particular factoid.
+factinfo: U: ## <factoid>
+factinfo: E: ## test
+
+factstats: D: Display statistical data (max of 15) about factoids.
+factstats: U: ## <type>
+factstats: == author -- top author of factoids.
+factstats: == deadredir -- ??
+factstats: == duplicate -- duplicate factoids.
+factstats: == listfix -- ??
+factstats: == locked -- locked factoids.
+factstats: == new -- recent addition of factoids.
+factstats: == nullfactoids -- ??
+factstats: == partdupe -- initial partial duplicate factoids.
+factstats: == profanity -- possibly offensive factoids.
+factstats: == redir -- redirection in factoids.
+factstats: == reqrate -- ??
+factstats: == requested -- most requested factoids.
+factstats: == requesters -- most requested factoids.
+factstats: == seefix -- ??
+factstats: == toolong -- factoid {key|value} exceeding specified length.
+factstats: == tooshort -- factoid {key|value} shorter than specified length.
+factstats: == total -- ??
+factstats: == unrequest -- unrequested factoids.
+factstats: == vandalism -- ??
+factstats: E: ## new
+
+forget: If I have an old/redundant factoid x, "forget x" will cause me to erase it.
+
+freshmeat: D: Frontend to www.freshmeat.net
+freshmeat: U: ## <query>
+freshmeat: E: ## infobot
+
+hex: D: Convert ascii to hex
+hex: U: ## <string>
+hex: E: ## carrot
+
+httpdtype: D: Get httpd server software version / configuration
+httpdtype: U: ## <hostname>
+httpdtype: E: ## example.com
+
+ignore: D: ignore list management
+ignore: E: ## [mask chan expire comment]
+ignore: E: addignore guu!*@*
+
+ircstats: ircstats dumps some status information on the bot's IRC connection
+
+join: U: ## <#chan> [key]
+join: E: ## #botpark
+join: E: ## #botpark rules
+
+karma: Karma is a community rating system. Use "X++" to increase the karma, or "X--" to decrease it. Ask for ratings using "karma for X?"
+
+kernel: D: Frontend to linux.kernel.org's finger response.
+kernel: U: ##
+
+kick: U: ## <nick> [#chan] [message]
+kick: E: ## oznoid
+kick: E: ## larne #botpark
+kick: E: ## john #foo go away!
+
+lart: D: Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool
+lart: U: ## [#chan] <who>
+lart: E: ## lenzo infobot's bugginess
+lart: E: ## #perl everyone perl \=\= lamerville
+
+lc: D: lower case a given string
+lc: U: ## <string>
+lc: E: ## When will infobot achieve world domination?
+
+listauth: D: Search the factoid extension db by creator
+listauth: U: ## <search>
+listauth: E: ## xk
+
+listkeys: D: Search the factoid database by key (factoid)
+listkeys: U: ## <regex>
+listkeys: E: ## infobot
+
+listvalues: D: Search the factoid database by value (description)
+listvalues: U: ## <regex>
+listvalues: E: ## infobot
+
+literal: used to get a raw factoid contents. Use _default to ignore factoidSearch path.
+literal: U: ## [_default|prefix] <factoid>
+literal: E: ## infobot
+
+lobotomy: I can be given a lobotomy ([o] is required) if people start to abuse me. To bring me back to life, give me an unlobotomy
+
+lock: D: Factoid locking to prevent removal by others
+lock: U: ## <factoid>
+lock: E: ## abuse
+lock: N: By default, only registered "ops" on the bots or factoids matching the user's nick are able to lock factoids.
+lock: N: Requires factoid extension (extra) support enabled.
+
+md5: D: calculates the md5sum of a given string
+md5: U: ## <string>
+md5: E: ## When will infobot achieve world domination?
+
+mode: set modes for a channel
+mode: U: ## <#chan> <mode>
+mode: E: ## #botpark +t
+mode: E: ## #botpark -i
+
+news: D: News functions
+news: U: ## [chan] <add,del,mod,set,latest,read,help>
+
+news add: D: Add news items
+news add: U: news [chan] add <title>
+news add: E: news add This is a test
+news add: see _news set Text_ aswell
+
+news set: D: Set stuff for news item
+news set: U: news [chan] set <item> <what> [value]
+news set: valid <what>: Expire, Text
+news set: E: news set 1 Text ok, this works
+news set: E: news set test Text and this is a test
+news set: E: news set test Text
+
+news set expire: D: Set expire for news item
+news set expire: U: news [chan] expire <what> <value>
+news set expire: value can be: Xd Xh Xm Xs
+news set expire: value can be: never
+news set expire: news expire 1 3days
+news set expire: news expire 2 +20d
+news set expire: news expire Test 30d 20h 10m 5s
+news set expire: news expire TEST never
+
+news del: D: Delete news item (requires +o or be author)
+news del: U: news [chan] del <item>
+news del: E: news del 1
+news del: E: news del test
+
+news mod: D: Modify a news item (todo: modify Text aswell)
+news mod: E: news [chan] mod <item> s/<from>/<to>/[g]
+news mod: E: news mod 1 s/test/Test/
+news mod: E: news mod test s/test/Test/g
+
+nickometer: D: Measures the lame-ness of a nick or channel
+nickometer: U: ## {nick,channel}
+nickometer: E: ## unknown_lamer
+nickometer: E: ## #botpark
+
+onjoin: D: get/set OnJoin message (needs chan option +OnJoin)
+onjoin: U: ## [#chan|_default] [-]<nick> [message]
+onjoin: E: ## infobot Hey! It's another infobot!
+
+ord: D: Convert ascii to decimal
+ord: U: ## <single character>
+ord: E: ## c
+
+page: D: Send someone a pager message
+page: U: ## <who> <message>
+page: E: ## infobot you rock!
+page: NOTE: this uses the "<who>'s pager" factoids for the From: and To: addresses of the format "example's pager" is "mailto:me@example.com"
+
+part: D: Leave a channel (DCC only)
+part: U: ## <#channel>
+part: E: ## #botpark
+part: NOTE: /kick is an alternative
+
+piglatin: D: translates english text into piglatin
+piglatin: U: ## <string>
+piglatin: E: ## When will infobot achieve world domination?
+
+quote: D: Frontend to yahoo's online stock market share listing
+quote: U: ## <query...>
+quote: E: ## RHAT,MSFT
+
+rename: D: Factoid renaming
+rename: U: ## 'from' 'to'
+rename: E: ## 'infobot' 'infobot'
+
+reverse: D: reverses a given string
+reverse: U: ## <string>
+reverse: E: ## When will infobot achieve world domination?
+
+rot13: D: ROT13's a given string
+rot13: U: ## <string>
+rot13: E: ## guvf vf n ynzr rknzcyr
+
+say: D: operator command to say things in a channel
+say: U: ## <chan> <what>
+
+scramble: D: scrambles a given string
+scramble: U: ## <string>
+scramble: E: ## When will infobot achieve world domination?
+
+search: U: ## <engine> for <string>
+search: E: ## google for infobot
+
+seen: D: Report last seen time for somebody
+seen: U: ## <nick>
+seen: E: ## infobot
+
+slashdot: D: News for nerds, Stuff that matters. [tm] (shows the headlines)
+slashdot: U: ##
+
+spell: You've guessed it right, I'm a spell checker. Give me any word and I can confirm whether it's good or bad.
+
+status: status dumps general status information
+
+tell: D: Tell someone about a factoid or command
+tell: U: ## <who> -?about <what>
+tell: E: ## me about infobot
+tell: E: ## someone -about testing
+
+topic add: D: Add your own topic
+topic add: U: ## <topic>
+topic add: E: ## This is a test
+
+topic del: D: Delete one or two subtopics
+topic del: U: ## <#>
+topic del: E: ## 1
+topic del: E: ## 1-3,5
+topic del: E: ## last
+
+topic mod: D: Search and replace strings in the topic
+topic mod: U: ## <REGEX>
+topic mod: E: ## s/test/TEST/
+topic mod: E: ## s#msg test#/msg test#g
+
+topic mv: D: Move subtopics around.
+topic mv: U: ## <#> <before|after|swap> <#>
+topic mv: E: ## 1 after 2
+topic mv: E: ## first before last
+
+topic restore: D: Restores the topic to an earlier version
+topic restore: U: ## <#>
+topic restore: E: ## 3
+
+topic: Usage for 'topic [#chan] <params>':
+topic: ---------------- __Subtopic__:
+topic: add <TOPIC> - Append <TOPIC> to topic.
+topic: del <#> - Remove subtopic <#> from topic.
+topic: list - Display subtopics.
+topic: mod s/old/new/ - Search and replace topic.
+topic: mv <ARGS> - 'topic mv'.
+topic: shuffle - Randomly organize subtopics.
+topic: ---------------- __Topic__
+topic: history - Show previous topics.
+topic: restore <#> - Restore topic to <#>.
+topic: rehash - Rehash changes to topic.
+topic: info - Who and time info.
+topic: ---------------- __Misc__
+topic: about - Read the file :)
+topic: help - This screen.
+
+topic: NOTE: #chan arg is only required if command is sent over private message to nick, otherwise it is not needed if sent to the channel.
+topic: NOTE: commands can be preceeded? with '-' in order not to enforce changes to topic.
+topic: End of help.
+
+uc: D: upper case a given string
+uc: U: ## <string>
+uc: E: ## When will infobot achieve world domination?
+
+unforget: If a factoid has been forgotten, "unforget x" will cause me to unerase it.
+
+unlobotomy: Not possible in real life, an unlobotomy will bring me back to life in the case of a lobotomy.
+
+unlock: D: Factoid unlocking to allow removal by others.
+unlock: U: ## <factoid>
+unlock: E: ## abuse
+
+uptime: D: Show the current uptime, and the top 3 uptimes recorded
+uptime: U: ##
+
+wantnick: If someone's taken my nick (I hope not) and I'm using some temporary nick, I can change back to my original nick if it's not taken (again).
+
+wikipedia: D: Frontend to the Wikipedia at http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Note that utf8 is used for non-ascii characters.
+wikipedia: U: ## <topic>
+wikipedia: U: wiki <topic>
+wikipedia: E: wiki irc
+
+wtf: D: Interface to the BSD wtf command
+wtf: U: ## <abbreviation>
+wtf: E: ## iirc
+
+-host: D: admin command to remove hostmask from a user account
+-host: U: ## [user] <mask>
+-host: E: ## *!*@owns.org
+-host: E: ## owner leet!leet@*.heh.org
+
++host: D: admin command to list or add hostmasks to a user account
++host: U: ## [user] [<mask>]
++host: E: ## owner
++host: E: ## *!*@owns.org
++host: E: ## owner leet!leet@*.heh.org
+
+flags: D: Flags for chattr command
+flags: D: "A" - bot administration over /msg (default is only via DCC CHAT)
+flags: D: "O" - dynamic ops (as on channel). (automatic +o)
+flags: D: "T" - add topics.
+flags: D: "a" - ask/request factoid.
+flags: D: "m" - modify factoid. (includes renaming)
+flags: D: "n" - bot owner, can "reload"
+flags: D: "o" - master of bot (automatic +amrt)
+flags: D: - can search on factoid strings shorter than 2 chars
+flags: D: - can tell bot to join new channels
+flags: D: - can [un]lock factoids
+flags: D: "r" - remove factoid.
+flags: D: "t" - teach/add factoid.
+
--- /dev/null
+# infobot.lang: configurable responses.
+# by the xk.
+###
+
+# Welcome reply: Things to say when people thank me.
+welcome
+ no problem
+ my pleasure
+ sure thing
+ no worries
+ de nada
+ de rien
+ bitte
+ pas de quoi
+ gern geschehen
+
+# Dunno reply (when i recognize a query but can't answer it):
+dunno
+ i don't know
+ i haven't a clue
+ no idea
+ wish i knew
+ bugger all, i dunno
+ I give up, what is it?
+ I don't know, could you explain it?
+ I'm not sure, is it larger than a breadbox?
+ parse error: dunno what the heck you're talking about
+ are you using Windows?
+ I wish you would RTFM.
+ have you tried http://www.tldp.org/ ?
+ KCI error, or a problem with the Keyboard-Chair Interface.
+
+# moron reply.
+moron
+ You think I'm human? Think again!
+ h0 h0 h0
+ Hi, how's life?
+ What do you want?
+ Are you on drugs?
+ Wassup G?
+
+# confuse/refuse learn.
+confused
+ I think you lost me on that one
+ what are you talking about?
+
+# Hello reply (ways to say hello):
+hello
+ hello
+ hi
+ hey
+ niihau
+ bonjour
+ hola
+ salut
+ que tal
+ privet
+ what's up
+ moin moin
+
+# Cookie reply: added by the xk.
+cookie
+ ACTION spins the wheel of knowledge and ponders... ##KEY... ##VALUE
+ ACTION pulls out the cookie jar and finds ##KEY... ##VALUE
+ Hey ##WHO, ##KEY is ##VALUE
+
+# Factoid reply:
+factoid
+ methinks ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ i heard ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ i guess ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ from memory, ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ hmm... ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ ##KEY is probably ##VALUE
+ ##KEY is, like, ##VALUE
+ rumour has it, ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ it has been said that ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ somebody said ##KEY was ##VALUE
+ well, ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ extra, extra, read all about it, ##KEY is ##VALUE
+ [##KEY] ##VALUE
+
+# HowAreYou reply:
+howareyou
+ eh, ok
+ peachy
+ just great
+ you know how it is...
+ pretty good. how about you?
+ mas o menos
+
+# Question word.
+qWord
+ who
+ who is
+ who are
+ what
+ what's
+ what is
+ what are
+ where
+ where's
+ where is
+ where are
+
+# botsnack etc praise
+# TODO add ACTION support
+praise
+ :)
+ thanks
+ aw, gee
--- /dev/null
+
+#
+# lart info by ejb (larne) and cerb.
+#
+
+--purges WHO
+accelerates a free AOL cd to 50,000 rpm and lets WHO feel it
+acting on orders from an unspecified client drags WHO into court suing for $200 million
+beats the living hamstercrap out of WHO
+beats WHO into protomatter with the andromeda galaxy
+beats WHO over the head with a microkernel
+beats WHO senseless with a 50lb Unix manual
+beats WHO severely about the head and shoulders with a rubber chicken
+beats WHO to within 2.54cm of his life
+blames WHO for all the evil in the world
+blasts WHO to oblivion with a kamehameha wave
+blasts WHO with a huge firehose then strangles WHO with it
+brandishes Excalibur! "With this sword, I vanquish thee, WHO!" and lops off WHO's head
+breaks out the Hoover and sucks up WHO
+burns WHO to a crisp with a laser
+calls WHO on the phone ... the lights are on but nobody's home
+cats /dev/urandom into WHO's ear
+changes WHO's permissions to 0777 and tells the world
+chops WHO in half with a free AOL CD
+chops WHO in half with a free Solaris 7 CD
+crushes WHO with a full height scsi disk
+cuts off WHO's head with a halberd that could have been a little bit sharper
+cuts WHO into thin stripes
+decapitates WHO conan the destroyer style
+declares WHO a moron
+does a little 'dpkg -P WHO' action
+does a little 'renice 20 -u WHO'
+DoSes WHO
+drops a baby grand on WHO
+drops a humongous exploding nuke on WHO
+drops a truckload of VAXen on WHO
+duct-tapes WHO to the floor and drools on him
+dumps 42 tons of dirt, manure, and fish heads on WHO
+eats WHO and falls over dead
+eats WHO's liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti
+executes killall -HUP WHO
+executes killall -KILL WHO
+executes killall -TERM WHO
+explains, ever so gently, that if WHO doesn't give the channel more information, they can't help
+farts in WHO's general direction
+flings poo at WHO
+follow's WHO with a gauntlet and ... scratch ... HUMILIATION
+forces WHO to use Outlook Express
+frags WHO with his BFG9000
+gets a hotmal account and SPAMs WHO
+gives WHO a "free" copy of Windows and then charges double for "Upgrades"
+gives WHO a good seeing to
+gives WHO an extra strength ACME sleeping pill, sending WHO to sleep for 150 years, and awakening to seven strange dwarfs and a large apple
+grabs a large, mis-shapened log, with squirrels, and beats WHO until only the nuts remain ... which the squirrels run off with
+hauls WHO up by the scruff of the neck and spanks him until he waddles
+hereby declares WHO a troll
+hits WHO with an anvil and laughs with a contralto voice ... Haha Ha HA Ha
+holds WHO to the floor and spanks him with a cat-o-nine-tails
+hooks into a hydrant and hoses WHO down
+hurls dozens of incontinent, insomniac, hungry kittens with tiny little razor-sharp claws and a wide variety of contagious intestinal parasites at WHO
+installs a bad bootloader on WHO and turns WHO into a brick
+installs PocketPC on WHO's PDA
+judo chops WHO
+keeps mailing WHO free America Online CDs until he drowns
+lowers WHO's priority
+makes a balloon animal out of WHO
+moos at WHO
+nabs the moon and broadsides WHO with the sea of tranquility
+nukes WHO with a single large nuke
+offers WHO some herring
+overclocks WHO until WHO burns out
+plops WHO into a giant vat of herring
+pours gasoline all over WHO, ignites the fire, and then enjoys some toasty marshmallows with the glorious blaze
+pours hot grits down the front of WHO's pants
+pries WHO's back open with a screwdriver and flashes a new bootldr to WHO
+pulls out a ClueBat (tm) and thwaps WHO
+pulls out his louisville slugger and uses WHO's head to break the homerun record
+pushes the wall down onto WHO whilst whistling innocently
+puts on a hockey mask and jumps out at WHO
+puts on some milking gloves. "All right, now, WHO, this won't hurt a bit...."
+puts WHO into a headlock and administers a mighty noogie, rubbing half of WHO's hair of
+puts WHO through a wood chipper
+raises middle finger to WHO
+readies the nuke launcher and fires some rounds at WHO
+resizes WHO's terminal to 40x24
+rm -rf's WHO
+runs at WHO with an origami Swiss Army knife, and inflicts a nasty paper cut
+says "boot to the head" and knocks WHO over
+send killer squirrels to attack WHO
+sends a legion of lawyers after WHO's head
+shoots WHO in his sleep
+shoots WHO in the head
+shoves a crumpet down WHO's throat, happy now?! Huh? Want some JAM with that?
+slams WHO against a large cement Tux
+slaps a compatible dib on WHO's head
+slaps WHO around with a large trout
+slaps WHO upside and over the head with one freakishly huge killer whale named hugh
+slaps WHO upside the head with a wet fish
+smacks WHO up side the head with a clue-by-4
+squeezes WHO till WHO turns blue like papa smurf
+squishes WHO like a bug
+stabs WHO
+stamps WHO on the forehead with the official Troll marker
+steals WHO's mojo
+strangles WHO with a 9-pole serial cable
+strangles WHO with a doohicky mouse cord
+stuffs WHO into a shiny new tin can and vacuum seals it
+takes a big bite out of WHO's jugular vein
+takes a large goose feather pillow and swings it wildly in WHO's direction, hitting WHO and sending WHO flying into the closet
+takes a rusty axe and swings it violently, taking WHO's head off
+takes large quantities of Krispy Kream donuts and stuffs them one after another down WHO's throat until WHO puts on 150lbs
+takes out a cattle prod and gives WHO a good jolt
+takes out a seltzer bottle and sprays WHO in the face. You know, one of those old-school seltzer bottles clowns have? Yeah those. Anyway, consider yourself spritzed
+takes out WHO with the trash
+takes WHO to the vet for a "special" visit
+teaches WHO that M$ Access is a database. No, really, a database. A real live multi-user... well, ok, not multi-user, but a database. Yeah, that sounds right.
+teaches WHO the basics, including how to RTM
+throws a AN/M-8 smoke grenade at WHO
+throws WHO's poor little doggy off a cliff
+tries to shut WHO up
+turns WHO into a lifesized tux doll
+urinates on WHO
+wallops WHO with a main rotation server that needs rehubbing. It won't take long
+whacks WHO upside the head
+whacks WHO with a giant beaver's tail
+whacks WHO with the cluebat
+whips out a hot clue gun and makes sure that WHO is stuck to the floor
+whips out a shotgun, trudges over to WHO, and goes postal
+whips out a sword and chops WHO in half
+whips out his power stapler and staples WHO's foot to the floor
+whips WHO with a wet and grimy noodle just because
--- /dev/null
+He who controls the source controls the universe!
+Want to see a listing of files installed by a package, type dpkg -L package
+Need to know the status of a package? type dpkg -s package
+Need help, but everyone is idle in the channel, try emailing to debian-user@lists.debian.org
+Need to see the list of packages matching a pattern, type dpkg -l pattern
+If you have a webserver and dww packages installed, try http://localhost/dwww for all kinds of documentation
+Need help setting up PPP? read /usr/doc/ppp/README.debian
+Want to know why Debian is best? type !why in the channel
+Want to upgrade to hamm (unstable)? type !libc6 to get the mini-HOWTO
+Want to check out Debian social contract? type !dfsg in the channel
+Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
+Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
+Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
+I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
+We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
+Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
+Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
+Did anyone see my lost carrier?
+Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
+I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
+He who laughs last thinks slowest!
+Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
+'More hay, Trigger?' 'No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!'
+A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
+Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
+There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
+Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
+Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
+Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
+I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
+Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
+Double your drive space - delete Windows!
+What is a 'free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
+If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
+'Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.'
+Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
+Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
+Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
+I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
+Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
+I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
+Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
+The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
+When there's a will, I want to be in it.
+Okay, who put a 'stop payment' on my reality check?
+Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
+I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
+We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
+All generalizations are false, including this one.
+Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
+C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
+'Criminal Lawyer' is a redundancy.
+Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER
+'640K ought to be enough for anybody.' Bill Gates '81
+'90% of all statistics are made up'
+'A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.'
+'A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.' - R. Frost
+'A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.' -Doug Larson
+'Apple' (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
+'Apple' (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
+'Bad knee, gotta run' - Pat Buchanan to his draft board
+'Beam me aboard, Scotty.' 'Sure. Will a 2x10 do?'
+'Beulah, peel me a grape.'
+'Bother,' said Pooh as the brakes went out!
+'Build a watch in 179 easy steps' by C. Forsberg.
+'C++' should have been called 'D'
+'COINCIDENCE' happens.
+'Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!'
+'Careful. We don't want to learn from this.' -- Calvin
+'Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?' -- Calvin
+'Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.'
+'Freedom defined is freedom denied.' -The Illuminatus
+'Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?'
+'Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw...'
+'Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty?' -- Hobbes
+'Human equality is a contingent fact of history.' -Steven Jay Gould
+'I tried to think but nothing happened!' - Curly
+'I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV'
+'I'm not smart enough to lie' - Ronald Reagan
+'If I knew what I was doing...I'd be dangerous...'
+'If the shoe fits, buy it.' Imelda Marcos
+'Instant gratification takes too long.' - Carrie Fisher
+'Is' is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
+'It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end.'-D. Adams
+'It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs'
+'Keyboard? How quaint!' - Scotty
+'Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke' - Obi Wan Gates
+'Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!'
+'Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!'
+'Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting.'
+'Remember when we said there was no future? Well, this is it.' -- Blank Regk
+'Stupid' is a boundless concept.
+'Suicide Hotline...please hold.'
+'The faster you go, the shorter you are' - Einstein
+'The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.' - Mark Twain
+'The sun ain't yellow, its chicken.' -Bob Dylan
+'There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.' -Mark Twain
+'There's someone in my head, but its not me.' -Pink Floyd
+'This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else.' -
+'To err is human, to forgive....$5.00'
+'Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!' -Yoda-
+'Vote for Perot' - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro
+'You can't have everything. Where would you put it?' -Steven Wright
+#1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!!
+#include std/disclaimer.h
+$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt
+'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt
+(((((This tagline in Stereo where available)))))
+(A)bort (R)etry (C)ut Your Throat.....
+(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (U)nplug & (S)ell.
+(A)bort (R)etry (P)ull leg (H)ot boot (S)wipe tagline!
+(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
+(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
+(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
+(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
+(c) Copywight 1995 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
+* OLX 3 * Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
+*Four hours* to bury a cat? Yes - it wouldn't keep still
+.. Bugs come in through open Windows.
+... 'I'll be Bach.' - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
+... All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal.
+... Bill Clinton isn't slick. He's just a liar.
+... Clinton Economics: If 1+2=3 then 4+5=6.
+... Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says
+... Clinton excuse #18: You took that seriously? Har har
+... Clinton sandwich: $5 of baloney and $20 in taxes
+... Getting the truth from Clinton is like nailing Jello
+... It's tourist season in Florida, bag limit two.
+... KARAOKE is Japanese for 'Tone Deaf'
+... Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
+.....If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!
+...I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.
+...On the other hand, you have different fingers.
+..Windows NT Performance', on the next 'In Search Of'
+/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
+1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
+10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo!
+1200 bps used to seem so fast
+186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
+1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
+2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
+2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
+3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
+43% of all statistics are worthless.
+43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
+5 schizophrenics agree!
+50 states, and I had to pick this one...
+668 - Neighbor of the Beast
+90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
+<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
+==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==
+From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.
+From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
+A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
+A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
+A Metaphor is like a Simile.
+A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
+A big enough hammer fixes anything
+A bird in the hand can be messy.
+A camel is a horse planned by committee.
+A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
+A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
+A closed mind gathers no intelligence
+A closed mouth gathers no feet.
+A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain.
+A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
+A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
+A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
+A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
+A day not wasted is a day wasted!
+A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
+A day without sunshine is like night.
+A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
+A dirty book is rarely dusty.
+A fool and his money are soon SYSOP.
+A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
+A fool must now and then be right by chance.
+A friend in need is a pest indeed...
+A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
+A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
+A half moon is better than no moon at all.
+A harp is a nude piano.
+A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
+A library is an arsenal of liberty.
+A life lived in fear is half a life lived.
+A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
+A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
+A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
+A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
+A man's best friend is his dogma.
+A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
+A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
+A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
+A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
+A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
+A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
+A perversion of nature....how exciting!
+A pessimist is never disappointed.
+A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice.
+A rolling stone gathers momentum.
+A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
+A single fact can spoil a good argument.
+A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
+A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
+A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
+A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won.
+ASCII and ye shall receive.
+ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
+Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
+Afraid of heights? Not me, I'm afraid of widths!
+Agnodyslexic plea: 'why ME, dog?'
+Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
+Alex, I'll take 'Things Only I Know' for $1000.
+All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
+All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy.
+All I need to know I learned from my cat.
+All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
+All generalizations are bad.
+All generalizations are false, including this one.
+All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
+All in a day's work for...'Confuse-a-Cat'!
+All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall!
+All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
+All programers are optimists.
+All that glitters has a high refractive index.
+All the easy problems have been solved.
+All things are green unless they are not.
+All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
+All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
+All work and no play, will make you a manager.
+All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
+Almost went crazy. Would have been a real short trip.
+Alone: In bad company.
+Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
+Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
+Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
+Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
+Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
+Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
+Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
+America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
+Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
+An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications.
+An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's really in a rut.
+An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
+An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
+An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
+An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
+An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
+An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills.
+An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
+An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
+And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
+And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
+And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
+And it's only ones and zeros.
+And now for something completely different...
+And now for something completely the same...
+And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
+And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM
+Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
+Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
+Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!
+Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *
+Antidisestablishmentarianism!
+Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
+Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
+Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there
+Any wire cut to length will be too short.
+Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
+Are we having Fahrvergn\ 1ugen yet??
+Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan
+Are you really American if your ethnicity has to be hyphenated?
+Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
+Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry.
+Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
+As I said before, I never repeat myself.
+As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
+As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716
+As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
+Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
+Assumption is the mother of all screwups...
+Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
+Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy
+B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine
+BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
+Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
+Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
+Bad Command:(A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage
+Bad breath is better than no breath.
+Bald: follicularly challenged.
+Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
+Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
+Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
+Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
+Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1.
+Better ... stronger ... faster!
+Beware of Geeks bearing gifs.
+Beware of barking dogs that bite.
+Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers
+Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing
+Bill Clinton is the Lyin' King. ( Now playing nation wide )
+Bill Clinton thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
+Bill Clintoon: The prince of Dorkness, a caricature of a president
+Black Holes are Out of Sight
+Black holes really suck...
+Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
+Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be dissapointed.
+Bliss *IS* ignorance
+Bo Knows Taglines!
+Bo Peep did it for the insurance.
+Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
+Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies.
+Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
+Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.
+Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3
+Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER
+Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
+Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
+Brain dysfunction detected....
+Brain over - Insert coin
+Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
+Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
+Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
+Britannia waives the rules.
+Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
+Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
+Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.
+Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers
+Bullets speak louder than reason.
+Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing
+Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.
+Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise
+Bus error (Passengers dumped)
+Busier than a 1 legged man in an butt-kicking contest.
+But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
+But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car!
+But my little voice TOLD me to do it!
+But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
+But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
+But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
+Buy American!
+Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.
+Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife
+By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
+C programmer run C programmer crash C programmer quit
+C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN
+CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME
+CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.
+CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
+CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.
+CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities.
+CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman.
+CODING: AN addictive Drug.
+COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
+CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
+CRASH: Normal termination.
+CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
+CURIOSITY? Nah. I got THAT cat with a lawnmower.
+CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop
+California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected
+Can I yell 'movie' in a crowded firehouse?
+Can you find the mispelled word in hear?
+Can you repeat the part after 'Listen very carefully'?
+Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?!
+Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
+Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly!
+Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.
+Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.
+Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
+Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
+Caution: Contents under pressure
+Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked
+Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.
+Celibacy is not hereditary.
+Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
+Chernobyl used Windows
+Chess players mate better.
+Chicago runs best on a VCR.
+Chicago, an operating system Pair-of-Dimes shift!
+Chicago... The biggest thing since New Coke!
+Chicago: NT deja vu!
+Chicago? Been there. I'm ready to travel at WARP speed!
+Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
+Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
+Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
+Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
+Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
+City Planners do it with their eyes shut.
+Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
+Clark Kent is a transvestite.
+Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events.
+Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
+Cleanliness is next to impossible.
+Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
+Clinton is one Bill, George Bush can't veto...
+Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to television.
+Clones are people two.
+Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
+Close your eyes and press escape three times.
+Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...
+Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam.
+Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
+Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far!
+Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!
+Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
+Commence strategic maneuvers at audible command signal. 5, 4, 3...
+Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
+Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
+Common sense isn't...
+Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop
+Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
+Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.
+Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
+Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
+Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
+Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
+Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
+Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
+Computers run on faith, not electrons.
+Condense soup, not books!
+Conformity obstructs progress.
+Confucius say too much.
+Confucius say: I didn't say that!
+Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
+Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
+Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message!
+Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
+Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
+Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations.
+Constant change is here to stay.
+Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping.
+Converse with any plankton lately?
+Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association
+Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)?
+Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
+Couldn't myself have better it said.
+Courage atrophies from lack of use.
+Crime does not pay...as well as politics.
+Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
+Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
+Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...Boy do I love Congress
+Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
+Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
+D.A.D.D. - Daddies Against Dirty Diapers
+D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia
+D.A.M.M - Drunks Against Mad Mothers
+DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
+DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet!
+DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
+DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
+DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment
+DILATE: To live longer.
+DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.
+DIVORCE =system('echo y| erase \wife\*.*' );
+DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
+DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)!
+DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES!
+DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today!
+DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
+DOS never says 'EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!'
+DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again
+DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote.
+DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
+Daddy, what does 'Formatting Drive C:' mean?
+Dain Bramaged.
+Dang this hobby is expensive!
+Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.
+Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
+Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
+Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets.
+Death benefits = oxymoron.
+Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.
+Death is God's way of dropping carrier.
+Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'
+Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
+Death sneaks up on you as a windshield sneaks up on a bug.
+Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
+Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
+Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof!
+Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely.
+Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
+Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
+Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
+Did I just step on someone's toes again?
+Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
+Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
+Die Yuppie Scum.
+Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
+Difference between Jane Fonda & Bill Clinton? Jane went to Vietnam
+Digression is education.
+Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
+Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
+Diplomacy is saying 'nice doggy' until you find a rock.
+Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way.
+Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
+Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP!
+Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
+Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.
+Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
+Disks travel in packs.
+Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
+Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
+Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART?
+Do fish get thirsty?
+Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
+Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
+Do not put statements in the negative form.
+Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
+Do steam rollers really roll steam?
+Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.
+Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
+Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
+Do you know the way to San Jose?
+Doctor Who for president
+Doctor, my brain hurts!
+Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
+Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?
+Does killing time damage eternity?
+Does the Enterprise use DOS v2356.0?
+Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
+Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
+Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
+Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.
+Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
+Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss
+Don't ask me, I only work here.
+Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
+Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.
+Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood!
+Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
+Don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse.
+Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.
+Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
+Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
+Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
+Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
+Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
+Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
+Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!
+Don't let school interfere with your education.
+Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
+Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
+Don't mess with Murphy.
+Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. ... ALL RIGHT, NOW PANIC
+Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
+Don't press the keys so hard!
+Don't read everything you believe.
+Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour.
+Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.
+Don't start with me. You know how I get.
+Don't steal. The government hates competition.
+Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely
+Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.
+Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
+Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure...
+Don't try to saw sawdust.
+Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
+Don't use no double negatives.
+Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
+Down with categorical imperative!
+Down with ignurance!
+Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows!
+Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.
+Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
+Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
+Drilling for oil is boring.
+Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.
+Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead...
+Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream
+Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit.
+Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
+Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
+Dying is no excuse. Nixon in 96.
+Dyslexics are persona au gratin.
+Dyslexics have more fnu.
+Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
+EMS: Enhanced Money Scam
+ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
+EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.
+Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!
+Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.
+Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...
+Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
+Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
+Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
+Ego Gratification through Violence
+Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
+Email me the rules, please!
+Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
+Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.
+Enough research will tend to support your theory.
+Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim!
+Enter that again, just a little slower.
+Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
+Eschew obfuscation!
+Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock
+Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
+Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the middle of the desert
+Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
+Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
+Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
+Every man's work is a portrait of himself.
+Every purchase has its price.
+Every why hath a wherefore.
+Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
+Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
+Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film!
+Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
+Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
+Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
+Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend
+Everything bows to success, even grammar.
+Everything in our favor was against us.
+Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
+Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
+Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID!
+Exceeding the legal fun limit on a regular basis
+Excellent time to become a missing person.
+Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair
+Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.
+Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high...
+Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
+Exploding piglets!!! My gosh, it's raining bacon!
+Exxon Suxx.
+F.A.R.T....Fathers Against Radical Teenagers
+FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue...
+FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
+FILE COPIED. I THINK?
+FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.
+FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
+FORD: The Heartbreak of today's Chevrolet!
+Fact is solidified opinion
+Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress.
+Facts are stubborn things.
+Fad: In one era and out the other
+Familiarity breeds attempt
+Familiarity breeds children.
+Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.
+Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
+Famous last words - You and what army?
+Faster than a speeding ticket!
+Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You.
+Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever
+Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.
+Features should be discovered, not documented.
+Feel lucky???? Update your software!
+Felines... nothing more than felines...
+Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.
+Fife. n. Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
+Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
+File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
+Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition
+First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers
+Fish and visitors stink in three days.
+Flames to /dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue.
+Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs
+Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.
+Floggings will continue until morale improves.
+Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
+Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do
+Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares
+Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
+Fools rush in where Fools have been before!
+Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold
+For Sale: Slightly used message. Enquire within.
+For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country.
+For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
+For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
+For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord!
+For sale, Toilet-seat cover. Barely used.
+For the finest in brain candy.
+Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS!
+Forget the computer! Where's my abacus??
+Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram.
+Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
+Four minus two is one and the same.
+Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with '1-900'
+Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last!
+Free advice is worth what you pay for it
+Free your mind ... the rest will follow!
+Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
+Friction can be a drag sometimes.
+Friendly fire - ISN'T !
+Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate!
+Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
+Friends don't let friends drive naked.
+Friends encourage friends to use Windows - under Linux!
+Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
+Frost
+Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
+GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.
+Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
+Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks.
+Geez if you belive in honkus.
+Genealogy = A DNA square-dance in the Thighlight Zone
+General Failure reading John Dvorak
+General stupidity error reading drive C:
+Geoff, Brett and Todd...the BO-DYNASTY!!!
+George Orwell was an optimist.
+Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.
+Get the facts first - you can distort them later!
+Get your filthy hands off my dessert!
+Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly.
+Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
+Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
+Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
+Go Lemmings, Go!!!
+Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
+God created cats so that men could learn to understand women
+God does not play dice.
+God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
+Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
+Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
+Good day to let down old friends who need help.
+Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!
+Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.....
+Gotta love me!
+Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME!
+Graduate Of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling
+Gravity brings me down
+Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks.
+Great minds travel in the same sewers.
+Greed is good! Greed is right! Greed works!
+Grow your own dope... plant a man
+Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
+Grub first, then ethics.
+Gun control is being able to hit your target!
+Guns don't kill people... death does.
+Guns don't kill people..., I kill people!
+H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
+HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE!
+Hackito ergo sum.
+Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
+Hand me that crowbar... I must pry out this bullet.
+Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.
+Happiness is a warm gun.
+Happiness is a warm modem
+Happiness is finding special characters \ 1\ 2\ 1\ 2
+Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip.
+Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
+Happiness is...receiving YOUR posts!!!!
+Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
+Hard work must have killed someone!
+Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
+Hasta la vista, Baby!
+Have Tardis, will travel.
+Have an adequate day.
+Have cursor, will curse.
+Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing.
+Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?
+Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!
+Having Windows problems? Dial 1-800-3-IBM-OS2 for fast relief!
+Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate.
+He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
+He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
+He who Laughs, Lasts.
+He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
+He who asks timidly makes denial easy.
+He who dies with the most access, wins.
+He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD!
+He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
+He who hesitates is constipated.
+He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.
+He who laughs last probably made a backup.
+He who lives by the sword laughs last.
+He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
+He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
+He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
+He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
+He's dim, Jed
+He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
+Heads I win... DITTO tails
+Health food makes me sick.
+Heisenberg slept here, I think.
+Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative.
+Help fight continental drift.
+Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!
+Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
+Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.
+Help! I've been stuck in here for years and years...
+Help! Police! That guy stole my .sig! STOP!!! THIEF!!!
+Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!!
+Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone!
+Here today, gaunt tomorrow.
+Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
+Hey! This is a morgue, not an amusement park!
+Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!
+Hey, CServe/Unisys! Stick it where the sun don't shine!
+Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?
+Hi! I can't remember your name either.
+Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you.
+Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening.
+High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9.
+Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good.
+Hindsight is always 20:20.
+Hindsight is an exact science.
+Hm..what's this red button fo:=/07<NO CARRIER
+Hmm...Nice tagline. <SWIPE!> SUCKER!!! AH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
+Hollow chocolate has no calories
+Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
+Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER
+Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
+Honeymoon: time between 'I do' and 'you'd better'
+Honk if you love cheeses.
+Honk if you love peace and quiet.
+Honk, if you have slept with Clinton.
+Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
+Housework done properly, can kill you
+Houston! do you read.
+How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star?
+How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
+How come wrong numbers are never busy?
+How do I set my laser printer for stun?
+How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm!
+How do you make Windows faster ? Throw it harder
+How do you pronounce my name? With reverence.
+How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
+How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
+How does one expect the unexpected?
+How long is a short story?
+How long will a floating point operation float?
+How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin?
+How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
+How many weeks are there in a light year?
+How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
+How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
+Humpty dumpty was pushed.
+Hydrate or Die.
+Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
+I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together!
+I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
+I Cayman went.
+I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse!
+I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.
+I Still miss my ex-wife.....BUT, My aim is improving!
+I Think....therefore I'm OVER QUALIFIED!!!!!!!!!
+I love it when a plan comes together!
+I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical.
+I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
+I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
+I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated.
+I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!!
+I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
+I am both of us & so are you.
+I am built for comfort, not speed!
+I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
+I am functioning within established parameters.
+I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
+I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal.
+I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
+I am sweet and lovable at all times.
+I am the girl-next-door's imaginary boyfriend.
+I am what I am and that's all that I am.
+I am. Therefore, I think. I think.
+I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles.
+I bet you I could stop gambling.
+I bought a cordless extension cord.
+I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
+I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!
+I came... I saw... I stole your tagline.
+I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries
+I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!
+I can resist anything but temptation.
+I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
+I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
+I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!
+I can't believe my computer's on fire.
+I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear.
+I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
+I could be arguing in my spare time.
+I could have stuck with DOS, but NO.
+I couldn't care less about apathy.
+I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!
+I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
+I distinctly remember forgetting that.
+I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
+I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.
+I don't care if I'm apathetic.
+I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!
+I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
+I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food!
+I don't hate Windows - it runs great under Linux!
+I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
+I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
+I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.
+I don't think, therefore I am not.
+I don't want the world, I just want your half.
+I drink to make other people interesting.
+I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.
+I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
+I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late
+I feel the need......the need for speed!
+I finally washed the mud off of mud.
+I find myself beside a stream of empty thought
+I float like an anchor and sting like a moth.
+I get mail........ I exist.
+I give advice worth the price....free!
+I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
+I guess a cynic smells different.
+I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
+I had amnesia once or twice.
+I had my coat hangers spayed.
+I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
+I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
+I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers
+I have a rock garden. 3 of them died last week.
+I have a speech impediment... my foot.
+I have already not made that point
+I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!
+I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
+I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A' in astronomy
+I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
+I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
+I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
+I is a college student.
+I is knot dain bramaged!
+I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
+I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
+I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words
+I know everything about everything, except that.
+I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
+I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!
+I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
+I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
+I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
+I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.
+I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
+I lost a button hole today.
+I lost my knickers at Niagara.
+I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!
+I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
+I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up
+I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me.
+I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
+I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
+I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
+I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
+I never met a chocolate I didn't like!
+I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!!
+I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
+I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!
+I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
+I post.......... I am
+I promise results, not promises.
+I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
+I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars.
+I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.
+I smashed a Window and saw... Linux!
+I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone.
+I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!
+I think, therefore I am. I think.
+I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
+I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.
+I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.
+I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.
+I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
+I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
+I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
+I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.
+I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
+I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
+I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
+I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.
+I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem.
+I wake near the end of the day.
+I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option.
+I warn you not to underestimate my powers.
+I was arrested for selling illegal sized paper.
+I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
+I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off....
+I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days!
+I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
+I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.
+I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!
+I wrote a few children's books, but not on purpose.
+I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
+I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous
+I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
+I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back..
+I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.
+I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.
+I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore
+I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.
+I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Phillip.
+I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.
+I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.
+I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.
+I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
+I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
+I'd love to, but none of my socks match.
+I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
+I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.
+I'd rather be bicycling!
+I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!
+I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!
+I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit!
+I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.
+I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead!
+I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.
+I'm Serfectly Pober.
+I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum!
+I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride!
+I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay!
+I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
+I'm an Debian developer...I don't NEED a life!
+I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate.
+I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!
+I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.
+I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.
+I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
+I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
+I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
+I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown!
+I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.
+I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it?
+I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
+I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.
+I'm new and what's all this then?
+I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met...
+I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
+I'm not as dumb as you look.
+I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.
+I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged.
+I'm not even going to ignore that.
+I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.
+I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished
+I'm not lost, I'm 'locationally challenged.'
+I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
+I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right!
+I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
+I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.
+I'm not rude, I'm 'attitudinally challenged'.
+I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me!
+I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
+I'm on the crest of a slump.
+I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
+I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
+I'm schizophrenic, What are you?
+I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.
+I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
+I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's
+I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere...
+I'm the person your mother warned you about.
+I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head.
+I'm turning you in to the SPCA!
+I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
+I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine.
+I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
+I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
+I've had fun before. This isn't it.
+I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.
+I've seen the future. I can't afford it.
+IBM: I've Been Misled
+IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
+IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more
+IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
+INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.
+Ideas are not responsible for their followers!
+If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs...
+If Clinton's the answer, it must have been a really stupid question.
+If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.
+If I can't win, I don't wanna play!
+If I had anything witty to say, I wouldn't put it here.
+If I had been using Windoze, I'd still be writing this.
+If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
+If I save time, when do I get it back ?
+If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
+If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
+If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
+If I were you, who'd be me?
+If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
+If The Shoe Fits - The Sock Fits !
+If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
+If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound?
+If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
+If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
+If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
+If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!
+If at first you don't succeed, hide your astonishment.
+If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test.
+If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
+If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
+If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
+If at first you don't succeed, you must be using Windows.
+If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!
+If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.
+If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
+If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
+If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
+If it glows don't touch it!
+If it has feelings, its not cooked enough!
+If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
+If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
+If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO !!
+If it works, tear it apart and find out why!
+If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it.
+If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
+If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
+If it's not worth doing well, it's not worth doing.
+If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid
+If it's too loud, you're too old.
+If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
+If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
+If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
+If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
+If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
+If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
+If speed scares you, try Windows...
+If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth.
+If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
+If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
+If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
+If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
+If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
+If winning isn't important then why keep score?
+If you associate with the wise, you will become wise.
+If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
+If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
+If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
+If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
+If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
+If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
+If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
+If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
+If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
+If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
+If you hear an onion ring please answer it.
+If you mess with something long enough it'll break.
+If you must drink and drive, drive a Yugo!
+If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
+If you say nothing, no one will repeat it.
+If you see an onion ring, ANSWER IT!
+If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
+If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
+If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
+If you wish work poorly done, pay in advance.
+If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
+If you're not the solution, you're the precipitate.
+If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush..
+If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
+Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines!
+Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
+Illiterate? Write for free help.
+Imagery is All In The Mind.
+Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality
+Impropriety is the soul of wit.
+In God we trust, all others pay cash.
+In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
+In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death
+In case of fire, yell 'FIRE!'
+In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
+In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.
+In war there is no substitute for victory.
+Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
+Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
+Individualists of the world, UNITE!
+Inertia makes the world go round.
+Inferiority complex: conviction by a jury of your fears.
+Innovate or Die.
+Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
+Insanity is just a state of mind.
+Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
+Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.
+Interchangeable parts won't.
+Internal combustion engines are the dinosaurs' revenge
+International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves.
+Interstellar Matter is a Gas
+Invisible Systems, Inc. If you don't see it, we made it.
+Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
+Is 'tired old cliche' one?
+Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
+Is it in my head...or in my heart?
+Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
+Is it possible to feel gruntled?
+Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
+Is there life before coffee?
+Is this a machine? I don't talk to machines! [Click]
+Is this the right room for an argument?
+It all looks the same if you're not the lead dog.
+It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES!
+It compiled, first screen came up?? Ship it! --Bill Gates
+It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
+It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
+It has many other uses as well. Allow me. - Worf
+It is always better to sacrifice your opponent's men
+It is bad luck to be superstitious.
+It is better to be brief than boring.
+It is better to wear out than to rust out.
+It is broke. It will not work. It does not go.
+It is fatal to live too long.
+It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
+It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
+It is much easier to be critical than to be correct
+It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
+It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time.
+It really bothers me when people cut me o...
+It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit!
+It works better if you plug it in.
+It's 10:00 PM...do YOU know where YOUR tagline is?
+It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim.
+It's a Tough Job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
+It's a fine line between fishing & standing still
+It's a fine night to have an evening.
+It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
+It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
+It's an ill wind that gathers no moss.
+It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
+It's bad luck to be superstitious.
+It's been a business doing pleasure with you.
+It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
+It's best to leave quickly when you make noises like that...
+It's better to burn out than to fade away.
+It's clever, but is it art?
+It's de\ 2ja\ 5 vu all over again.
+It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
+It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.
+It's easy to apply yourself, just use crazy glue!
+It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.
+It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
+It's hard to be serious when you're naked.
+It's life Jim, but not as we know it.
+It's like Deja Vu all over again...
+It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
+It's more than a reader. It's a message base manager!
+It's never too late to have a happy childhood
+It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi
+It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere!
+It's not in the manual!
+It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession!
+It's not pretty being easy.
+It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.
+It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
+It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money
+It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?
+It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only
+It's only ones and zeros.
+It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim.
+It's smart to pick your friends, but not your nose.
+It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC !
+It's true, forgiveness IS easier to get than permission
+Its a JOKE, like the funny kind but different.
+Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
+JFK: I need this motorcade like a hole in my head!
+James Bond rules. 00K.
+Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
+Jet Engine Theory -Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!
+Join the Group Mind - become a Borg
+Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
+Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron.
+Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
+Just because you're STUPID ain't no excuse.
+Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me!
+Just do it.
+Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here
+Just how much leg have I got
+Just my 78,000 lira worth.
+Just what part of 'NO' didn't you understand...?
+Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.
+Justice is incidental to law and order.
+Justice: A decision in your favor.
+Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Experienced only need apply.
+Keep America beautiful.. properly dispose of your lawyer.
+Keep a clear head and always carry a lightbulb.
+Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
+Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue
+Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.
+Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
+Kill them all! .... Let God sort them out.
+Killer Rabbit's Motto: 'Lettuce Prey.'
+Kilroy occupied these coordinates.
+Kleptomania: take something for it
+Know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions!
+Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.
+LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
+LISTEN HERE! I HAVE FIRST AMENDENT RIGH(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER
+LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
+Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that?
+Land of the Single Entendre...
+Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
+Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
+Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.
+Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
+Lesser artists borrow. Great artists steal.
+Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!
+Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
+Let's split up, we can do more damage that way.
+Liberal - a power worshiper without power.
+Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.
+Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
+Life can be great if you live it to the fullest!
+Life is a sandwich, and it's always lunchtime
+Life is a series of very rude awakenings.
+Life is like a Car-wash and I'm on a bicycle.
+Life is only as long as you live it.
+Life is serious, but ART is fun!
+Life is tough. It's tougher when you're stupid.
+Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
+Life sucks, but Death swallows!
+Life would be easier if I had the source code.
+Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
+Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
+Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
+Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
+Likes and dislikes are among my favorites
+Linux, the choice of a GNU generation.
+Liposuction will destroy your FAT
+Lisp programmers have to stop and collect garbage.
+Live before you die.
+Living poor is best left to those with no money.
+Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
+Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
+Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
+Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
+M.A.D.D.: Midgets Against Desk Drawers.
+MOPAR = Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly!
+MS Windows -- From the people who brought you EDLIN!
+MS-DOS: celebrating ten years of obsolescence
+Macho does not prove Mucho.
+Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
+Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
+Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
+Make it do ... Or do without.
+Make like a Tom and Cruise.
+Make like a baby and head out.
+Make like a banana and split.
+Make like a drum and beat it!
+Make like a tree and leave.
+Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
+Make up a language and ask people for directions.
+Man has his will. Woman has her won't!
+Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.
+Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling
+Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself
+Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
+Man who run behind car get exhausted.
+Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon
+Marching to a different kettle of fish.
+Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
+Math is the language God used to write the universe.
+May I please be excused? My Brain is full.
+May the Porsche be with you.
+May you live in interesting times.
+May your life be filled with experiences.
+Me know gammar. Me cood use it gud.
+Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve it's dignity
+Meditation is not what you Think.
+Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss...
+Megabyte: A nine course dinner.
+Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves!
+Memory is a thing we forget with.
+Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
+Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence
+Microfiche: Sardines.
+Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
+Microsoft gives you Windows... Linux gives you the whole house.
+Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties
+Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
+Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
+Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting!
+Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
+Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.
+Money is the root of all wealth.
+Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
+Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition.
+Most of us have been at work for several hours now.
+Mother is the invention of necessity.
+Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!
+Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
+Murphy is out there... waiting...
+Murphy was an optimist.
+Murphy's law needs to be repealed.
+Must Go - My Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.
+My *taglines* are original. *I* am a copy.
+My RAM's not what it used to be, so don't quote me.
+My attention isn't hard to get. It IS hard to keep...
+My best friend is a social worker.
+My computer has a terminal illness
+My computer's sick, I think my modem's a carrier
+My couch potato routine honed to perfection
+My fallacies are more logical than your fallacies.
+My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
+My hat covers my head... Just like hair used to!
+My haystack had no needle!
+My head is sore, and there's a hole in the brick wall!
+My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.
+My karma ran over your dogma.
+My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring
+My message above. Your response here ____________.
+My other computer is a Cray Y/MP-4!
+My other computer is a HAL 9000.
+My other computer is an abacus.
+My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
+My reality check just bounced.
+My tagline can beat up your tagline!
+My weight is perfect for my height... which varies.
+NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
+NETWORK: What fishermen do when not fishing.
+NEWS! Drunk gets nine months in violin case
+NEWS! Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
+NEWS! Iraqi head seeks arms
+NEWS! Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
+NEWS! Stolen painting found by tree
+NEWS! Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
+NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company!
+NUMBER CRUNCHING: Jumping on a Computer.
+Naaah, real men don't read docs.
+Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.
+Neil Armstrong tripped.
+Neither rain, nor snow, nor l?ne n*oi*se
+Neurotic: Self-taut person.
+Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.
+Never assume. It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'.
+Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
+Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you
+Never eat anything bigger than your head.
+Never eat more than you can lift.
+Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
+Never go with the odds
+Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
+Never judge a man by his taglines.
+Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.
+Never mind the facts - I know what I know.
+Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone.
+Never say, 'Oops!'; always say, 'Ah, interesting!'
+Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
+Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers
+Never trust a skinny cook.
+Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
+Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
+New Highway gets Railroaded.
+Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
+Nihilism should commence with oneself.
+Ninety per cent of everything is crap.
+Nitpicking: Not just a hobby, it's a way of life!
+Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
+No .sig is a good .sig
+No free lunch in an ecosystem.
+No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!!
+No one ever said 'if I'd only spent more time in the office'
+No radio. Already stolen.
+No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
+No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
+No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space.
+Nobody roots for Goliath.
+Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
+Nodding the head does not row the boat.
+None of you exist, my Sysop types all this in.
+Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
+Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie.
+Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
+Not many people realize just how well known I am.
+Not now, John, we gotta get on with the game show...
+Not quite human any longer.
+Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
+Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come
+Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
+Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
+Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason
+Nothing recedes like success.
+Nothing succeeds like excess.
+Now entering Iowa. Please set your clocks back 20 years.
+Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
+Now is not a good time to annoy me
+Now is the time for all good men to come to.
+Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
+Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?
+O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
+OK Scotty, detonate and energize NOW! No, wait, I mean.......
+OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
+OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
+OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
+Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: 'Use the FORKS, Luke!'
+Objection, your Honor! My client is an idiot!
+Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder
+Objects in taglines are closer than they appear.
+Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them
+Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
+Of course I'm running Windows[kVxB NO CARRIER
+Oh goody! Another Muranium Explosive Space Modulator!
+Oh no you don't! You're not stealing this one!
+Oh no, not another learning experience!
+Oh, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works!
+Ok, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going?
+Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC
+Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O
+Old age is better than the alternative.
+On a clear disk you can seek forever.
+On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
+On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts
+One atom bomb can really ruin your day.
+One good turn gets most of the blanket.
+One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines.
+One man's Windows are another man's walls...
+One man's upload is another man's download
+One night I came home very late. It was the next night
+One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day.
+One way to better your lot is to do a lot better...
+One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
+Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
+Only cosmetologists give make-up exams.
+Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
+Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Chew Carefully.
+Optimization hinders evolution.
+Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
+Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
+Our necessities are few but our wants are endless...
+Out here in the fields...I fight for my meals...!
+Out of Memory!? But I fed you 6 Megs this morning!
+Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
+Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees!
+Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.
+Oxymoron - Definite possibility
+Oxymoron - Military Intelligence
+Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire
+Oxymoron: Soviet Union.
+PC! Politically Correct (or) Pure Crap!
+PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
+PI seconds is a nanocentury. - Tom Duff, Bell Labs
+PKZip - it's not just for downloads anymore
+Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
+Palindrome isn't one.
+Pandemonium doesn't reign here... It pours!
+Paranoia is heightened awareness.
+Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
+Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload.
+Pascal: What's it Wirth?
+Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
+Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!
+Pay your electric bill in pennies.
+Peace through superior firepower.
+People are always available for work in the past tense.
+People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
+People who live in glass houses shouldn't!
+People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
+Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Millionaire, Skipper & Gilligan.
+Pet Store: 'Buy one, get one flea.'
+Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.
+Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
+Pizza IS the four food groups!
+Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
+Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.
+Plankton lobbyist: 'NUKE THE WHALES!'
+Plasma is another matter.
+Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
+Please call the windows police. I've caught another gpf.
+Please don't drink and post.
+Please don't take my sunshine away.
+Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough.
+Pobody's Nerfect!
+Poets go from bad to verse
+Point not found. A)bort, R)eread, I)gnore.
+Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
+Political panjandrums prologize pedantic paronomasia.
+Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
+Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
+Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
+Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
+Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
+Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
+Predestination was doomed from the start.
+Predicting the future of technology is fraud with peril!
+Prejudice is the reason of fools. - Voltaire.
+Preserve wildlife... pickle a rat.
+Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue...
+Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
+Press any key...NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT ONE!!!!!!
+Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.
+Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.
+Program too small to fit into memory.
+Programming is an art form that fights back.
+Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
+Prosecutors will be violated
+Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
+Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
+Push the limit, and the limit will move away!
+Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something.
+Put people on hold when possible.
+Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
+Quasimodo is a dead ringer.
+Question Authority, ask me anything
+RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!
+Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.
+Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
+Random order = oxymoron
+Rap music = oxymoron
+Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages.
+Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
+Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
+Real men don't set for stun.
+Real men write self-modifying code.
+Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle buttons
+Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
+Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
+Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
+Really ?? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
+Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
+Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
+Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing
+Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.
+Refuse Novocain...Transcend Dental Medication!
+Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
+Remember, If you're not in bed by 10:30..... go home!
+Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS.
+Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
+Resistance Is Useless! (If < 1 ohm)
+Return((usBirdInHand = 2 * InTheBush()));
+Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
+Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
+Road Kill Cafe: You kill 'em, we grill 'em.
+Roses are red, Violet's are blue, And mine are white.
+Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens
+Round up the usual suspects!
+Rubber bands have snappy endings!
+Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
+S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . .
+SCUD : Sure Could Use Directions
+STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.
+STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere!
+SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!
+SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue...
+Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
+Sarcasm: barbed ire.
+Save California; when you leave take someone with you.
+Save energy: be apathetic.
+Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
+Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
+Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!
+Say yer prayers, y' flea-bitten' varmint.
+Schizophrenia beats being alone.
+Science asks why. I ask why not.
+Science: preconception meeting verification.
+Scientists discover life causes cancer.
+Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*z~% NO CARRIER
+Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.
+See how you can be?
+Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.
+Send lawyers, guns, & money...
+Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious!
+Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
+Serving the scum of Paris for over 300 years
+Set mode=Extremely verbose
+Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!
+Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home!
+ShelfDoze is a registered Trademark of M$.
+Shell to DOS... come in DOS... Do you copy?
+Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors!
+Shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark..
+Shoot your program and put it out of its memory!
+Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol
+Short people are vertically challenged.
+Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!
+Should I weed the lawn or say it's a garden?
+Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you.
+Sign here please:_______________________Thanks
+Sign on Closed Nuclear Power Plant... 'Gone Fission'
+Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
+Signito ergo sum - I sign therefore I am.
+Simon says: don't be so suggestible.
+Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
+Six of one, 110 (base 2) of another.
+Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.
+Slower Traffic Keep Right - Is that so difficult?
+Slug Sautee: a hors of a different d'oeuvre.
+Small changes pick up the reins from nowhere.
+Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
+Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
+Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
+Smiley faces were meant to be annoying.
+Smokey the Bear says, 'Strip mining prevents forest fires!'
+Smoking cures weight problems...eventually.
+Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
+Smurf exterminator.
+So many bytes, so few cps.
+So many lawyers, so few bullets.
+So many pedestrians, so little time.
+So many toys, so little time...
+So much time, and so little to do.
+Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
+Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.
+Software means never having to say you're finished
+Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't.
+Some People....
+Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
+Some days, nothing goes left.
+Some little dipstick stole all my good taglines...
+Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under...
+Some people are so nice to be nasty to.
+Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane.
+Some things have got to be believed to be seen.
+Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
+Something is rotten in the state of confusion.
+Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
+Sorry about your Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
+Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
+Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
+Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope)
+Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.
+Space is big. Really big.
+Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer!
+Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.
+Spell chequers dew knot work write.
+Spice is the variety of life.
+Stamp out philately!
+Standing there making a sitting target of himself.
+Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive.
+Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!
+Sterility is hereditary.
+Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline ©
+Strike any user when ready.
+Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
+Subvert the dominant paradigm!
+Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
+Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.
+Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius
+Supernovae are a Blast
+Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
+Support the helpless victims of computers.
+Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
+Swish, two, three, four! Swish, two, three, four!
+Sylvester Stallone: father of the RISC concept.
+THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules
+TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
+Tact: knowing how far to go too far.
+Tact: making a point without making an enemy.
+Tagline Lotto: 2222222222<- Scratch here for prize.
+Tagline theft is a compliment.
+Taglines \'tag-l\ 4inz \ The bumperstickers of the internet
+Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS!
+Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
+Take two crows and caw me in the morning
+Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.
+Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
+Teamwork is essential. It gives them another target.
+Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
+Thank you very little.
+That ain't so good English!
+That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
+That that is is not that that is not.
+That was ZEN -- this is TAO
+That'll be $67.50 CCCHHHHHIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!
+That's inches away from being millimeter perfect.
+The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt!
+The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.
+The French defense isn't...
+The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
+The Lab called,..... Your brain is ready!
+The Magic of Windows: Turns a 486 back into a PC/XT.
+The Microsoft Motto: 'We're the leaders, wait for us!'
+The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL...
+The Tour de France!
+The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain
+The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
+The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave Rome without it.
+The backup's not over 'til the FAT table sings!
+The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
+The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
+The best defense against logic is stupidity.
+The best defense is to stay out of range.
+The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
+The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.
+The best way to win an argument is to be right.
+The buck doesn't even slow down here!
+The cause of problems are solutions!
+The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!
+The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
+The cream rises to the top. So does the scum...
+The days of the digital watch are numbered
+The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
+The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
+The evidence before the court is...INCONTROVERTIBLE!
+The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
+The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it
+The first myth of management is that it exists.
+The first rule of intelligent tinkering is save all parts!
+The fish that escaped is the big one.
+The further I go, the behinder I get.
+The future isn't what it used to be.
+The game's a little bit wide open again.
+The gene pool has no lifeguard.
+The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
+The hangman let us down.
+The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
+The heart is wiser than the intellect...
+The irony of life is that no one gets out alive...
+The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
+The little engineer that could
+The longer the title, the less important the job.
+The man who begins many things finishes few.
+The margin is very marginal.
+The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's OK with you
+The mind is like a parachute - it works only when open.
+The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on...
+The next thing to do is hang all the consultants.
+The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.
+The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER
+The pen is mightier than the pencil.
+The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.
+The pendulum has gone full circle.
+The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
+The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
+The road to success is always under construction.
+The score didn't really reflect the outcome.
+The secret of the universe is~~*#~** FF * NO CARRIER
+The shortest distance between two points is off the wall
+The simple explanation always follows the complex solution
+The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
+The soul would have no heart had the eyes no tears...
+The superfluous is very necessary.
+The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby
+The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter...
+The unnatural, that too is natural.
+The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
+The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
+The whole world is about three drinks behind
+The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
+The worst thing about censorship is **************************.
+The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
+Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream....
+There are 2 ways to handle women and I know neither.
+There are many things I could say...
+There are no atheists in the foxholes.
+There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
+There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
+There is much Obiwan did not tell you.
+There is no dark side of the moon. Really.
+There is no finish line.
+There is no remedy for fun but more fun!
+There is no vaccine against stupidity.
+There is something to be said about me: 'Wow!!'
+There will be no last bus tonight.
+There's a hot place with pitchforks waiting.
+There's no future in time travel
+There's no such thing as a free lunch, but you can always find someone willing to treat.
+There's one in every car... You'll see.
+There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
+There's safety in numbers/When you learn to divide.
+Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
+They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!
+Things are not what they seem.
+Think 'HONK' if you're a telepath.
+Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
+This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man.
+This Country Needs Group Therapy.
+This ain't no party...this ain't no disco...
+This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
+This is a Tagline mirror ][ rorrim enilgaT a si sihT
+This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
+This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is.
+This is not a fairing, it's a force field.
+This is only a test.
+This is our only tag line.
+This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
+This line intentionally left unjustified.
+This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88
+This message has been UNIXized for your protection.
+This message is SHAREWARE! To Register, send $5.
+This message was typed on recycled phosphorous.
+This mind intentionally left blank.
+This program makes me look like a genius.
+This sentence is false.
+This tagline does not require Micro$oft Windows.
+This tagline intentionally left blank.
+This tagline is umop apisdn
+This tagline only to be removed by the consumer.
+This tagline was created from many little letters.
+This tagline was reclaimed and is not yet stolen.
+This tagline was written before a live studio audience.
+Those who can't write, write manuals.
+Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
+Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise!
+Those who live by the nit, die by the nit
+Those without heads do not need hats.
+Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
+Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!
+Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
+Time flies like an arrow - Fruit flies like a banana
+Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
+Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
+Tis better to be hunter than hunted.
+Tis better to have loved a short than to never have loved a tall.
+Tis better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
+To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
+To boldly go and watch Star Trek re-runs.
+To do nothing is also a good remedy.
+To eat is human, to digest, divine.
+To err is human, to eat Jello, is messy.
+To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
+To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer.
+To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
+To err is human. To moo bovine
+To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
+To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
+To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
+To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
+To me personally, it's nothing personal to me.
+To shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
+Today is Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday.
+Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
+Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
+Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
+Todays subliminal message is ' '
+Tolkien is hobbit-forming.
+Tongue tied & twisted, just an earthbound misfit I.
+Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
+Too much is never enough.
+Too much month at the end of the money.
+Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
+Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
+Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.
+Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.
+Trees hit cars only in self-defence.
+Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
+Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
+Trig..a..name...o...tree!!!
+Truck Pulls: for people who cannot understand the WWF
+Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.
+Truth is just another misconception.
+Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
+Try to get back on topic, he said moderately.
+Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo
+Try? Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
+Trying to think of a good tagline...
+Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
+Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right!
+Turning floppies into hard drives.
+Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
+Two heads are more numerous than one.
+Two most common elements: hydrogen, stupidity.
+Tyre Shop sign - We Skid You Not.
+UART what UEAT!
+UNNAMED LAW: If it happens, it must be possible.
+Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!
+Ultimate Question Research Team
+Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
+Unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.
+Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
+Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
+Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
+Until people grow up, they have no idea what's cool
+Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa bill.
+Users, losers -- what's the difference?
+Using yesterday's technology to solve today's problems, tomorrow
+VLSI: 'Getting High On Low Voltage'
+Vampires Against Mundane Poetry.
+Variables won't; constants aren't.
+Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
+Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
+Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.
+Vote Democratic... It's easier than getting a job.
+Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
+Vulcans have less fun.
+Vultures only fly with carrion luggage.
+W.A.R.P.: We Are Real Programmers.
+WAITER! there's soup in my fly!
+WARNING ... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!
+WARNING: my messages are offensive to morons!
+WINDOWS ERROR #004: Operator fell asleep while waiting.
+WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
+WYGIWYD -What you got is what you deserved.
+WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get.
+Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit
+Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
+Walls impede my progress
+Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!
+Want a LAUGH run a spell check on DSZ docs.
+Want a jelly baby?
+Want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!
+Wanted: Volcano. Average size. Must be active.
+War News: Saddam's army blown away by Thai hookers.
+Warning: Whimsical when bored
+Warning: Politicians can damage your wealth.
+Warranty void if tagline removed.
+Was today really Necessary?
+Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
+Wasting time is an important part of living.
+We all live in a yellow subroutine.
+We are not a clone.
+We are the people our parents warned us about
+We don't care. We don't have to. We're Telecom...
+We have here the latest in primitive technology.
+We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here
+We should limit congressmen to two terms: one in Congress, one in prison
+We take drugs very seriously at my house...
+We were unanimous - in fact everyone was unanimous.
+We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force
+We're as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.
+We're lost, but we're making good time.
+We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
+Weeping, I wake; waking, I weep, I weep.
+Welcome to Texas, now go home.
+Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray
+Well cover me in egg & flour and bake me for 14 minutes
+What are you doing?!? The message is over,GO AWAY!
+What can you do for me?
+What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
+What could possibly go wrong.
+What do batteries run on?
+What do you mean that 2 years have passed??
+What do you think?
+What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
+What does ignorant mean?
+What does this red button do?
+What else can you do at 3:00 am?
+What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
+What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
+What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.
+What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.
+What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture.
+What's another word for 'thesaurus?'
+What's brown and sticky? A stick!
+When 911 won't work .357 will!
+When in doubt, think.
+When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect 'Hungry'
+When your opponent is down, kick him.
+Where does weight go when you lose it?
+Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
+Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
+Who cares who's on board?
+Who glued the cup to the table?
+Who is 'they' anyway?
+Whosoever diggeth a pit shall falleth therein.
+Why am I asking all these things?
+Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
+Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
+Why are you wasting time reading taglines?
+Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?
+Why can't we just spell it orderves?
+Why did you read this?
+Why do people cry when they're sad?
+Why do they tell us to watch 'The Today Show' tomorrow?
+Why do we elect people and then become afraid of them?
+Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
+Why do you think they call it 'find'?
+Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
+Why does the beginning of your sentence end up in the middle of mine?
+Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
+Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
+Why get even, when you can get odd?
+Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
+Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled 'palindromeemordnilap'?
+Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
+Will the sound of one hand clapping still turn off my TV?
+Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat
+Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue...
+Windows N'T: as in Wouldn't, Couldn't, and Didn't.
+Windows NT: Only 16 megs needed to play Minesweeper!
+Windows NT: The world's only 80 megabyte Solitaire game!
+Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
+Windows error 000 : No errors found! [CLOSE]
+Windows is *NOT* a virus. Viruses *DO* something!
+Windows is for fun, Linux is for getting things done.
+Windows is the best GUI - It always sticks!
+Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's 'Functionally Challenged'.
+Windows only crashes itself under Linux. Not the whole machine.
+Windows would look better with curtains.
+Windows: The answer to a question nobody has ever asked.
+Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
+WindowsNT: From the makers of Doublespace
+Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
+Wit is cultured insolence.
+Without Time, everything would happen at once.
+Without music, life would be a mistake.
+Women - can't live with 'em and no resale value...
+Women do come with instructions; ask them.
+Women get minks the same way minks get minks.
+Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
+Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.
+Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy
+World ends today at 9:30 pm! Film at 11:00...
+Worry : The interest paid on trouble before it's due
+Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe
+Would I ask you a rhetorical question?
+Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
+You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
+You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.
+You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish.
+You can't have everything...where would you put it?
+You hit the nail right between the eyes.
+You're it.
+You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to.
+Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
+Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage!
+Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
+Yuk, what kind of dumb menu system is that? Oh, so that is Windows!
+Zen T-Shirt: Enlightenment Available - Enquire Within
+[DISCLAIMER: my fingers are epileptic]
+[If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses]
+hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
+Serenity through viciousness.
+FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!
+Include me out.
+YOW!! I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!
+'That boy's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver' -- Foghorn Leghorn
+Pardon me while I laugh.
+Vegeterians beware! You are what you eat.
+Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
+'From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.' -- Dr. Seuss
+You'll be sorry...
+The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
+UH-OH!! We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS!
+I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.
+Paranoia is heightened awareness.
+The things that interest people most are usually none of their business.
+++ /dev/null
-#v1: blootbot -- infobot -- written Sat Jan 21 06:17:24 2006
-
-#botpark
- -OnJoin
- +RootWarn
- +autojoin
-
-#debian-bots
- +News
- +RootWarn
- +chanlimitcheck
- chanlimitcheckInterval 10
- chanlimitcheckPlus 10
- factoidDeleteDelay 7
- ircTextCounters heh hah :) ? hi lol
- +joinfloodCheck
- limitcheckInterval 10
- limitcheckPlus 10
- newsDefaultExpire 7
- +newsKeepRead
- +newsNotifyAll
- rootWarnMode aggressive
-
-_default
- +BZFlag
- +Debian
- +DebianExtra
- +Dict
- +Exchange
- +Factoids
- +HTTPDtype
- +Kernel
- +Math
- +OnJoin
- +Plug
- +Quote
- +Rss
- +Search
- +Topic
- +Units
- +UserInfo
- +W3Search
- +Weather
- +Zippy
- addressCharacter ~
- +allowConv
- +allowTelling
- +babelfish
- +botmail
- +case
- +cookie
- +countdown
- debianRefreshInterval 7
- +dice
- +dns
- +factoidArguments
- factoidSearch $chan _default
- floodMessages 10:30
- floodRepeat 2:10
- +freshmeat
- freshmeatRefreshInterval 24
- +insult
- +karma
- +lart
- +limitcheck
- +log
- maxListReplyCount 15
- maxListReplyLength 400
- +md5
- minVolunteerLength 50
- +nickometer
- +pager
- +piglatin
- randomFactoidInterval 60
- randomQuoteInterval 60
- +reverse
- +scramble
- +sed
- +seen
- seenFlushInterval 60
- seenMaxDays 90
- +seenStats
- +seenStoreAll
- sendNoticeLimitBytes 1000
- sendNoticeLimitLines 3
- sendPrivateLimitBytes 1000
- sendPrivateLimitLines 3
- sendPublicLimitBytes 1000
- sendPublicLimitLines 3
- +slashdot
- +spell
- +tell
- +wtf
- +zfi
- +zsi
-
+++ /dev/null
-# blootbot configuration file, modify it to your own taste. blootbot reads
-# this file from files/blootbot.config so it should be moved there.
-
-#####
-# Basic IRC info
-#####
-set ircNick blootbot
-set ircUser blootbot
-set ircName blootbot experimental bot
-# if your irc network requires a password to get on the servers
-#set ircPasswd SomePassword
-set ircUMode +iw
-
-# if not using a virtualhost set to 0.0.0.0
-# otherwise IRC::Connection might try localhost which will NOT work
-###set ircHost vh.virtualhost.org
-set ircHost 0.0.0.0
-
-set owner OWNER
-
-# nickserv/chanserv support.
-###set nickServ_pass PASSWORD
-###set chanServ_ops #chan1 #chan2
-
-# default quit message.
-set quitMsg adios amigos
-
-# path to a temporary directory which blootbot can use.
-set tempDir /tmp
-
-#####
-# Factoid database configuration
-#####
-
-# [str] Ability to remember/tell factoids
-# none -- disable.
-# mysql -- ...
-# SQLite -- SQLite (libdbd-sqlite-perl) (might be version 2 or 3)
-# SQLite2 -- SQLite (libdbd-sqlite-perl) (force version 2)
-# pgsql -- postgresql (SUPPORTED and TESTED!!!)
-### REQUIRED by factoids,freshmeat,karma,seen,...
-set DBType mysql
-
-# [str] SQLite filename prefix // MYSQL/PGSQL database.
-# eg: blootbot-factoids, blootbot-seen
-# eg: /var/db/mysql/blootbot/factoids.*
-set DBName blootbot
-
-# [str] Hostname of database server (unset for SQLite)
-set SQLHost localhost
-
-# [str] SQL user allowed to insert,update,delete stuff from tables. (unset for SQLite)
-set SQLUser blootbot
-
-# [str] SQL password. (unset for SQLite)
-set SQLPass PASSWORD
-
-# [str] SQL debug file. "-" for stdout may work on some platforms
-###set SQLDebug SQL_debug.log
-
-#####
-# Logfile configuration
-#####
-
-# [file] where to put logging info. comment out to disable.
-#set logfile log/$ircUser.log
-set logfile log/
-
-# [str] Type of logging.
-# DAILY -- Create a new log each day.
-# DEFAULT -- One continuous log file.
-set logType DAILY
-
-# [int] Maximum log size, if logfile is defined, in bytes.
-set maxLogSize 10000000
-
-#####
-# Factoid-related configuration
-#####
-
-# [bool] Factoid support.
-set factoids true
-
-# [days] if not 0, number of days until factoid is deleted for good.
-set factoidDeleteDelay 0
-
-# [int] maximum length of factoid key.
-set maxKeySize 32
-
-# [int] maximum length of factoid value.
-set maxDataSize 450
-
-# [str] when should the bot bother learning new factoids.
-# ADDRESSED -- only learn when addressed.
-# HUNGRY -- learn irrelevent of addressing. this will catch
-# _everything_, use at your own risk.
-set learn ADDRESSED
-
-# [str] different behaviour with URLs.
-# REQUIRE -- means it will need to be a url type (e.g. file:, http:)
-# OPTIONAL -- will take anything
-# REJECT -- will not accept any urls. this makes it easy to
-# run 2 with different nicks and styles.
-# ^^^ what's the point of this???
-set acceptUrl OPTIONAL
-
-# [bool] profanity checking.
-set profanityCheck false
-
-# [0/1] tell so-and-so about such-and-such of a factoid.
-set allowTelling 1
-
-# [str] other bots to ask for factoids which they may have.
-#set friendlyBots url purl script mrapi
-
-#####
-# Factoid related and unrelated features, mainly Extras.
-#####
-
-# [str] addressing is when you name the bot. FIXME:
-# REQUIRE -- the bot only does something if addressed.
-# OPTIONAL -- the bot responds (does not learn) irrelevent of
-# addressing.
-set addressing REQUIRE
-
-# [str] how the bot should send messages.
-# PRIVATE -- reply to private messages only, rejecting public msgs.
-# DEFAULT -- reply to public _and_ private queries.
-set talkMethod DEFAULT
-
-# [str] how long the output string should be before it is changed from
-# public to private.
-# "+" before bot commands overrides this option temporarily.
-###set minLengthBeforePrivate 192
-
-# [0/1] allow people outside any channels the bot is on to use the bot
-# for factoids and commands.
-set disallowOutsiders 1
-
-# [int] Amount of time for auto-ignore (flooding) to expire.
-set ignoreAutoExpire 5
-
-# [int] Amount of time for forced-online ignore to expire. minutes.
-set ignoreTempExpire 60
-
-#####
-# Internal (simple) bot commands
-#####
-
-# [0/1] Forking... disable for non-nix OS or to reduce mem usage.
-# Disabling should make the bot work on Win32 and MacOS.
-set forking 1
-
-# [int] Backlog... ideal to see what happened to the bot on console.
-# maximum number of lines to backlog.
-set backlog 24
-
-#####
-# Extra features
-#####
-
-# [str] anything which requires LWP + http proxy.
-###set httpProxy http://HOSTNAME:PORT/
-
-# [0/1] countdown to specific dates
-set countdown true
-
-# [0/1] Debian file and package search.
-# FIXME: should be a channel option
-set Debian true
-
-# [0/1] Freshmeat
-set freshmeat false
-# [int] how often to update the freshmeat table, in hours.
-set freshmeatRefreshInterval 24
-
-# [bool] if factoid does not exist, check freshmeat for it.
-set freshmeatForFactoid false
-
-# [0/1] Uptime logs
-set Uptime true
-
-#####
-# Miscellaneous configuration options
-#####
-
-# [int] Display a bit too much info about stuff.
-# 0 -- disable.
-# 1 -- standard.
-# 2 -- extra.
-set VERBOSITY 1
-
-# [0/1] Warn messages.
-set WARN 1
-
-# [0/1] Debugging messages.
-set DEBUG 0
-
-# [0/1] Work In Progress...
-set WIP 0
-
-# strict perl?
-set useStrict 1
-
-# debugging...
-###set DumpVars 1
-###set dumpvarsAtExit 1
-# log to specific file or global log file.
-###set dumpvarsLogFile dumpvars.log
-# more debugging
-###set DumpVars2 1
-###set symdumpLogFile log/dumpvars2.log
-
-# [str] Interface: [IRC/CLI]
-# IRC -- Internet Relay Chat
-# CLI -- Command Line Interface
-set Interface IRC
-
-# [0/1] Show topic author (troubled)
-# If 1, topics managed with !topic add foo will show the nick in ()'s
-# If 0, the nick of the creator will be recorded for !topic list, but not shown in the topic itself
-set topicAuthor 1
-
-####
-# Now modify blootbot.chan for per-channel specific configuration see
-# sample.chans for info.
-####
+++ /dev/null
-# countdown file.
-20001225 christmas Christmas
-20000914 olympics Opening ceremony of Olympics in Sydney, Australia
-20000704 america Independence Day
-20000501 potato Proposed release of Debian GNU/Linux Potato 2.2
-20000420 2.4 Hopeful debut of 2.4.0 kernel
-20000315 xfree4.0 XFree86 4.0 core release
-20000217 win2k Evil Empire's Release of deadly OS
-20000126 australia Australia Day
-20000119 crusoe Transmeta comes out of hiding
-20000115 freeze Debian (GNU/Linux) Potato version 2.2 stabilization begins
-20000101 y2k Year 2000
+++ /dev/null
-###
-# blootbot.servers: line separated list of servers to connect to
-###
-
-irc.freenode.net
-irc.home.org
-irc.linux.com
+++ /dev/null
-#v1: blootbot -- blootbot -- written Mon Feb 28 23:46:48 2005
-
-_default
---FLAGS amrt
---HOSTS *!*@*
-
-local
---FLAGS Aemnorst
---HOSTS local!local@local
---PASS xxfxfIfoJHdYg
-
-timriker
---FLAGS Aemnorst
---HOSTS *!~timr@TimRiker.active.supporter.pdpc
---PASS xxfxfIfoJHdYg
-
-xk
---FLAGS emnorst
---HOSTS *!xk@example.com
---HOSTS *!xk@superbox.home.org
---PASS 5K/rmJPzwxJhU
-
--- /dev/null
+#v1.5.0: infobot
+
+#botpark
+ -OnJoin
+ +RootWarn
+ +autojoin
+
+#debian-bots
+ +News
+ +RootWarn
+ +chanlimitcheck
+ chanlimitcheckInterval 10
+ chanlimitcheckPlus 10
+ factoidDeleteDelay 7
+ ircTextCounters heh hah :) ? hi lol
+ +joinfloodCheck
+ limitcheckInterval 10
+ limitcheckPlus 10
+ newsDefaultExpire 7
+ +newsKeepRead
+ +newsNotifyAll
+ rootWarnMode aggressive
+
+_default
+ +BZFlag
+ +Debian
+ +DebianExtra
+ +Dict
+ +Exchange
+ +Factoids
+ +HTTPDtype
+ +Kernel
+ +Math
+ +OnJoin
+ +Plug
+ +Quote
+ +Rss
+ +Search
+ +Topic
+ +Units
+ +UserInfo
+ +W3Search
+ +Weather
+ +Zippy
+ addressCharacter ~
+ +allowConv
+ +allowTelling
+ +babelfish
+ +botmail
+ +case
+ +cookie
+ +countdown
+ debianRefreshInterval 7
+ +dice
+ +dns
+ +factoidArguments
+ factoidSearch $chan _default
+ floodMessages 10:30
+ floodRepeat 2:10
+ +freshmeat
+ freshmeatRefreshInterval 24
+ +insult
+ +karma
+ +lart
+ +limitcheck
+ +log
+ maxListReplyCount 15
+ maxListReplyLength 400
+ +md5
+ minVolunteerLength 50
+ +nickometer
+ +pager
+ +piglatin
+ randomFactoidInterval 60
+ randomQuoteInterval 60
+ +reverse
+ +scramble
+ +sed
+ +seen
+ seenFlushInterval 60
+ seenMaxDays 90
+ +seenStats
+ +seenStoreAll
+ sendNoticeLimitBytes 1000
+ sendNoticeLimitLines 3
+ sendPrivateLimitBytes 1000
+ sendPrivateLimitLines 3
+ sendPublicLimitBytes 1000
+ sendPublicLimitLines 3
+ +slashdot
+ +spell
+ +tell
+ +wtf
+ +zfi
+ +zsi
--- /dev/null
+# infobot configuration file, modify it to your own taste. infobot reads
+# this file from files/infobot.config so it should be moved there.
+
+#####
+# Basic IRC info
+#####
+set ircNick infobot
+set ircUser infobot
+set ircName infobot experimental bot
+# if your irc network requires a password to get on the servers
+#set ircPasswd SomePassword
+set ircUMode +iw
+
+# if not using a virtualhost set to 0.0.0.0
+# otherwise IRC::Connection might try localhost which will NOT work
+###set ircHost vh.virtualhost.org
+set ircHost 0.0.0.0
+
+set owner OWNER
+
+# nickserv/chanserv support.
+###set nickServ_pass PASSWORD
+###set chanServ_ops #chan1 #chan2
+
+# default quit message.
+set quitMsg adios amigos
+
+# path to a temporary directory which infobot can use.
+set tempDir /tmp
+
+#####
+# Factoid database configuration
+#####
+
+# [str] Ability to remember/tell factoids
+# none -- disable.
+# mysql -- ...
+# SQLite -- SQLite (libdbd-sqlite-perl) (might be version 2 or 3)
+# SQLite2 -- SQLite (libdbd-sqlite-perl) (force version 2)
+# pgsql -- postgresql (SUPPORTED and TESTED!!!)
+### REQUIRED by factoids,freshmeat,karma,seen,...
+set DBType mysql
+
+# [str] SQLite filename prefix // MYSQL/PGSQL database.
+# eg: infobot-factoids, infobot-seen
+# eg: /var/db/mysql/infobot/factoids.*
+set DBName infobot
+
+# [str] Hostname of database server (unset for SQLite)
+set SQLHost localhost
+
+# [str] SQL user allowed to insert,update,delete stuff from tables. (unset for SQLite)
+set SQLUser infobot
+
+# [str] SQL password. (unset for SQLite)
+set SQLPass PASSWORD
+
+# [str] SQL debug file. "-" for stdout may work on some platforms
+###set SQLDebug SQL_debug.log
+
+#####
+# Logfile configuration
+#####
+
+# [file] where to put logging info. comment out to disable.
+#set logfile log/$ircUser.log
+set logfile log/
+
+# [str] Type of logging.
+# DAILY -- Create a new log each day.
+# DEFAULT -- One continuous log file.
+set logType DAILY
+
+# [int] Maximum log size, if logfile is defined, in bytes.
+set maxLogSize 10000000
+
+#####
+# Factoid-related configuration
+#####
+
+# [bool] Factoid support.
+set factoids true
+
+# [days] if not 0, number of days until factoid is deleted for good.
+set factoidDeleteDelay 0
+
+# [int] maximum length of factoid key.
+set maxKeySize 32
+
+# [int] maximum length of factoid value.
+set maxDataSize 450
+
+# [str] when should the bot bother learning new factoids.
+# ADDRESSED -- only learn when addressed.
+# HUNGRY -- learn irrelevent of addressing. this will catch
+# _everything_, use at your own risk.
+set learn ADDRESSED
+
+# [str] different behaviour with URLs.
+# REQUIRE -- means it will need to be a url type (e.g. file:, http:)
+# OPTIONAL -- will take anything
+# REJECT -- will not accept any urls. this makes it easy to
+# run 2 with different nicks and styles.
+# ^^^ what's the point of this???
+set acceptUrl OPTIONAL
+
+# [bool] profanity checking.
+set profanityCheck false
+
+# [0/1] tell so-and-so about such-and-such of a factoid.
+set allowTelling 1
+
+# [str] other bots to ask for factoids which they may have.
+#set friendlyBots url purl script mrapi
+
+#####
+# Factoid related and unrelated features, mainly Extras.
+#####
+
+# [str] addressing is when you name the bot. FIXME:
+# REQUIRE -- the bot only does something if addressed.
+# OPTIONAL -- the bot responds (does not learn) irrelevent of
+# addressing.
+set addressing REQUIRE
+
+# [str] how the bot should send messages.
+# PRIVATE -- reply to private messages only, rejecting public msgs.
+# DEFAULT -- reply to public _and_ private queries.
+set talkMethod DEFAULT
+
+# [str] how long the output string should be before it is changed from
+# public to private.
+# "+" before bot commands overrides this option temporarily.
+###set minLengthBeforePrivate 192
+
+# [0/1] allow people outside any channels the bot is on to use the bot
+# for factoids and commands.
+set disallowOutsiders 1
+
+# [int] Amount of time for auto-ignore (flooding) to expire.
+set ignoreAutoExpire 5
+
+# [int] Amount of time for forced-online ignore to expire. minutes.
+set ignoreTempExpire 60
+
+#####
+# Internal (simple) bot commands
+#####
+
+# [0/1] Forking... disable for non-nix OS or to reduce mem usage.
+# Disabling should make the bot work on Win32 and MacOS.
+set forking 1
+
+# [int] Backlog... ideal to see what happened to the bot on console.
+# maximum number of lines to backlog.
+set backlog 24
+
+#####
+# Extra features
+#####
+
+# [str] anything which requires LWP + http proxy.
+###set httpProxy http://HOSTNAME:PORT/
+
+# [0/1] countdown to specific dates
+set countdown true
+
+# [0/1] Debian file and package search.
+# FIXME: should be a channel option
+set Debian true
+
+# [0/1] Freshmeat
+set freshmeat false
+# [int] how often to update the freshmeat table, in hours.
+set freshmeatRefreshInterval 24
+
+# [bool] if factoid does not exist, check freshmeat for it.
+set freshmeatForFactoid false
+
+# [0/1] Uptime logs
+set Uptime true
+
+#####
+# Miscellaneous configuration options
+#####
+
+# [int] Display a bit too much info about stuff.
+# 0 -- disable.
+# 1 -- standard.
+# 2 -- extra.
+set VERBOSITY 1
+
+# [0/1] Warn messages.
+set WARN 1
+
+# [0/1] Debugging messages.
+set DEBUG 0
+
+# [0/1] Work In Progress...
+set WIP 0
+
+# strict perl?
+set useStrict 1
+
+# debugging...
+###set DumpVars 1
+###set dumpvarsAtExit 1
+# log to specific file or global log file.
+###set dumpvarsLogFile dumpvars.log
+# more debugging
+###set DumpVars2 1
+###set symdumpLogFile log/dumpvars2.log
+
+# [str] Interface: [IRC/CLI]
+# IRC -- Internet Relay Chat
+# CLI -- Command Line Interface
+set Interface IRC
+
+# [0/1] Show topic author (troubled)
+# If 1, topics managed with !topic add foo will show the nick in ()'s
+# If 0, the nick of the creator will be recorded for !topic list, but not shown in the topic itself
+set topicAuthor 1
+
+####
+# Now modify infobot.chan for per-channel specific configuration see
+# sample.chans for info.
+####
--- /dev/null
+# countdown file.
+20001225 christmas Christmas
+20000914 olympics Opening ceremony of Olympics in Sydney, Australia
+20000704 america Independence Day
+20000501 potato Proposed release of Debian GNU/Linux Potato 2.2
+20000420 2.4 Hopeful debut of 2.4.0 kernel
+20000315 xfree4.0 XFree86 4.0 core release
+20000217 win2k Evil Empire's Release of deadly OS
+20000126 australia Australia Day
+20000119 crusoe Transmeta comes out of hiding
+20000115 freeze Debian (GNU/Linux) Potato version 2.2 stabilization begins
+20000101 y2k Year 2000
--- /dev/null
+###
+# infobot.servers: line separated list of servers to connect to
+###
+
+irc.freenode.net
+irc.home.org
+irc.linux.com
--- /dev/null
+#v1.5.0: infobot -- written Mon Feb 28 23:46:48 2005
+# Please edit to your needs.
+# "local" is used for CLI mode
+# Passwords can be generated with mkpasswd in linux
+
+_default
+--FLAGS amrt
+--HOSTS *!*@*
+
+local
+--FLAGS Aemnorst
+--HOSTS local!local@local
+--PASS xxfxfIfoJHdYg
+
+timriker
+--FLAGS Aemnorst
+--HOSTS *!~timr@TimRiker.active.supporter.pdpc
+--PASS xxfxfIfoJHdYg
+
+xk
+--FLAGS emnorst
+--HOSTS *!xk@example.com
+--HOSTS *!xk@superbox.home.org
+--PASS 5K/rmJPzwxJhU
+
projects / infobot.git / commitdiff