+++ /dev/null
-He who controls the source controls the universe!
-Want to see a listing of files installed by a package, type dpkg -L package
-Need to know the status of a package? type dpkg -s package
-Need help, but everyone is idle in the channel, try emailing to debian-user@lists.debian.org
-Need to see the list of packages matching a pattern, type dpkg -l pattern
-If you have a webserver and dww packages installed, try http://localhost/dwww for all kinds of documentation
-Need help setting up PPP? read /usr/doc/ppp/README.debian
-Want to know why Debian is best? type !why in the channel
-Want to upgrade to hamm (unstable)? type !libc6 to get the mini-HOWTO
-Want to check out Debian social contract? type !dfsg in the channel
-Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
-Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
-Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
-We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
-Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
-Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
-Did anyone see my lost carrier?
-Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
-I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
-He who laughs last thinks slowest!
-Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
-'More hay, Trigger?' 'No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!'
-A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
-Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
-Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
-I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
-Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
-Double your drive space - delete Windows!
-What is a 'free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
-If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
-'Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.'
-Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
-Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
-Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
-I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
-I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
-Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
-The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
-When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Okay, who put a 'stop payment' on my reality check?
-Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
-We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
-All generalizations are false, including this one.
-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
-C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
-'Criminal Lawyer' is a redundancy.
-Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER
-'640K ought to be enough for anybody.' Bill Gates '81
-'90% of all statistics are made up'
-'A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.'
-'A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.' - R. Frost
-'A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.' -Doug Larson
-'Apple' (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
-'Apple' (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
-'Bad knee, gotta run' - Pat Buchanan to his draft board
-'Beam me aboard, Scotty.' 'Sure. Will a 2x10 do?'
-'Beulah, peel me a grape.'
-'Bother,' said Pooh as the brakes went out!
-'Build a watch in 179 easy steps' by C. Forsberg.
-'C++' should have been called 'D'
-'COINCIDENCE' happens.
-'Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!'
-'Careful. We don't want to learn from this.' -- Calvin
-'Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?' -- Calvin
-'Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.'
-'Freedom defined is freedom denied.' -The Illuminatus
-'Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?'
-'Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw...'
-'Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty?' -- Hobbes
-'Human equality is a contingent fact of history.' -Steven Jay Gould
-'I tried to think but nothing happened!' - Curly
-'I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV'
-'I'm not smart enough to lie' - Ronald Reagan
-'If I knew what I was doing...I'd be dangerous...'
-'If the shoe fits, buy it.' Imelda Marcos
-'Instant gratification takes too long.' - Carrie Fisher
-'Is' is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
-'It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end.'-D. Adams
-'It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs'
-'Keyboard? How quaint!' - Scotty
-'Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke' - Obi Wan Gates
-'Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!'
-'Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!'
-'Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting.'
-'Remember when we said there was no future? Well, this is it.' -- Blank Regk
-'Stupid' is a boundless concept.
-'Suicide Hotline...please hold.'
-'The faster you go, the shorter you are' - Einstein
-'The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.' - Mark Twain
-'The sun ain't yellow, its chicken.' -Bob Dylan
-'There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.' -Mark Twain
-'There's someone in my head, but its not me.' -Pink Floyd
-'This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else.' -
-'To err is human, to forgive....$5.00'
-'Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!' -Yoda-
-'Vote for Perot' - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro
-'You can't have everything. Where would you put it?' -Steven Wright
-#1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!!
-#include std/disclaimer.h
-$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt
-'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt
-(((((This tagline in Stereo where available)))))
-(A)bort (R)etry (C)ut Your Throat.....
-(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (U)nplug & (S)ell.
-(A)bort (R)etry (P)ull leg (H)ot boot (S)wipe tagline!
-(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
-(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
-(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
-(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
-(c) Copywight 1995 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
-* OLX 3 * Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
-*Four hours* to bury a cat? Yes - it wouldn't keep still
-.. Bugs come in through open Windows.
-... 'I'll be Bach.' - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
-... All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal.
-... Bill Clinton isn't slick. He's just a liar.
-... Clinton Economics: If 1+2=3 then 4+5=6.
-... Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says
-... Clinton excuse #18: You took that seriously? Har har
-... Clinton sandwich: $5 of baloney and $20 in taxes
-... Getting the truth from Clinton is like nailing Jello
-... It's tourist season in Florida, bag limit two.
-... KARAOKE is Japanese for 'Tone Deaf'
-... Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
-.....If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!
-...I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.
-...On the other hand, you have different fingers.
-..Windows NT Performance', on the next 'In Search Of'
-/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
-1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
-10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo!
-1200 bps used to seem so fast
-186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
-1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
-2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
-2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
-3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
-43% of all statistics are worthless.
-43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
-5 schizophrenics agree!
-50 states, and I had to pick this one...
-668 - Neighbor of the Beast
-90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
-<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
-==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==
-From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.
-From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
-A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
-A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
-A Metaphor is like a Simile.
-A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
-A big enough hammer fixes anything
-A bird in the hand can be messy.
-A camel is a horse planned by committee.
-A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
-A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
-A closed mind gathers no intelligence
-A closed mouth gathers no feet.
-A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain.
-A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
-A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
-A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
-A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
-A day not wasted is a day wasted!
-A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
-A day without sunshine is like night.
-A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
-A dirty book is rarely dusty.
-A fool and his money are soon SYSOP.
-A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
-A fool must now and then be right by chance.
-A friend in need is a pest indeed...
-A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
-A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
-A half moon is better than no moon at all.
-A harp is a nude piano.
-A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
-A library is an arsenal of liberty.
-A life lived in fear is half a life lived.
-A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
-A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
-A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
-A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
-A man's best friend is his dogma.
-A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
-A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
-A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
-A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
-A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
-A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
-A perversion of nature....how exciting!
-A pessimist is never disappointed.
-A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice.
-A rolling stone gathers momentum.
-A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
-A single fact can spoil a good argument.
-A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
-A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
-A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
-A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won.
-ASCII and ye shall receive.
-ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
-Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
-Afraid of heights? Not me, I'm afraid of widths!
-Agnodyslexic plea: 'why ME, dog?'
-Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
-Alex, I'll take 'Things Only I Know' for $1000.
-All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
-All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy.
-All I need to know I learned from my cat.
-All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
-All generalizations are bad.
-All generalizations are false, including this one.
-All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
-All in a day's work for...'Confuse-a-Cat'!
-All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall!
-All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
-All programers are optimists.
-All that glitters has a high refractive index.
-All the easy problems have been solved.
-All things are green unless they are not.
-All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
-All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
-All work and no play, will make you a manager.
-All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
-Almost went crazy. Would have been a real short trip.
-Alone: In bad company.
-Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
-Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
-Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
-Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
-Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
-Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
-Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
-America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
-Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
-An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications.
-An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's really in a rut.
-An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
-An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
-An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
-An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
-An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
-An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills.
-An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
-An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
-And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
-And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
-And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
-And it's only ones and zeros.
-And now for something completely different...
-And now for something completely the same...
-And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
-And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM
-Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
-Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
-Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!
-Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *
-Antidisestablishmentarianism!
-Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
-Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
-Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there
-Any wire cut to length will be too short.
-Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
-Are we having Fahrvergn\ 1ugen yet??
-Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan
-Are you really American if your ethnicity has to be hyphenated?
-Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
-Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry.
-Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
-As I said before, I never repeat myself.
-As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
-As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716
-As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
-Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
-Assumption is the mother of all screwups...
-Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
-Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy
-B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine
-BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
-Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
-Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
-Bad Command:(A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage
-Bad breath is better than no breath.
-Bald: follicularly challenged.
-Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
-Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
-Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
-Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
-Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1.
-Better ... stronger ... faster!
-Beware of Geeks bearing gifs.
-Beware of barking dogs that bite.
-Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers
-Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing
-Bill Clinton is the Lyin' King. ( Now playing nation wide )
-Bill Clinton thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
-Bill Clintoon: The prince of Dorkness, a caricature of a president
-Black Holes are Out of Sight
-Black holes really suck...
-Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
-Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be dissapointed.
-Bliss *IS* ignorance
-Bo Knows Taglines!
-Bo Peep did it for the insurance.
-Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
-Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies.
-Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
-Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.
-Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3
-Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER
-Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
-Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
-Brain dysfunction detected....
-Brain over - Insert coin
-Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
-Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
-Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
-Britannia waives the rules.
-Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
-Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
-Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.
-Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers
-Bullets speak louder than reason.
-Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing
-Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.
-Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise
-Bus error (Passengers dumped)
-Busier than a 1 legged man in an butt-kicking contest.
-But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
-But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car!
-But my little voice TOLD me to do it!
-But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
-But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
-But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
-Buy American!
-Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.
-Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife
-By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
-C programmer run C programmer crash C programmer quit
-C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN
-CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME
-CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.
-CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
-CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.
-CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities.
-CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman.
-CODING: AN addictive Drug.
-COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
-CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
-CRASH: Normal termination.
-CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
-CURIOSITY? Nah. I got THAT cat with a lawnmower.
-CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop
-California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected
-Can I yell 'movie' in a crowded firehouse?
-Can you find the mispelled word in hear?
-Can you repeat the part after 'Listen very carefully'?
-Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?!
-Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
-Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly!
-Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.
-Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.
-Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
-Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
-Caution: Contents under pressure
-Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked
-Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.
-Celibacy is not hereditary.
-Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
-Chernobyl used Windows
-Chess players mate better.
-Chicago runs best on a VCR.
-Chicago, an operating system Pair-of-Dimes shift!
-Chicago... The biggest thing since New Coke!
-Chicago: NT deja vu!
-Chicago? Been there. I'm ready to travel at WARP speed!
-Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
-Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
-Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
-Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
-Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
-City Planners do it with their eyes shut.
-Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
-Clark Kent is a transvestite.
-Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events.
-Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
-Cleanliness is next to impossible.
-Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
-Clinton is one Bill, George Bush can't veto...
-Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to television.
-Clones are people two.
-Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
-Close your eyes and press escape three times.
-Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...
-Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam.
-Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
-Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far!
-Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!
-Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
-Commence strategic maneuvers at audible command signal. 5, 4, 3...
-Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
-Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
-Common sense isn't...
-Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop
-Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
-Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.
-Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
-Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
-Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
-Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
-Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
-Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
-Computers run on faith, not electrons.
-Condense soup, not books!
-Conformity obstructs progress.
-Confucius say too much.
-Confucius say: I didn't say that!
-Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
-Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
-Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message!
-Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
-Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
-Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations.
-Constant change is here to stay.
-Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping.
-Converse with any plankton lately?
-Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association
-Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)?
-Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
-Couldn't myself have better it said.
-Courage atrophies from lack of use.
-Crime does not pay...as well as politics.
-Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
-Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
-Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...Boy do I love Congress
-Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
-Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
-D.A.D.D. - Daddies Against Dirty Diapers
-D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia
-D.A.M.M - Drunks Against Mad Mothers
-DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
-DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet!
-DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
-DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
-DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment
-DILATE: To live longer.
-DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.
-DIVORCE =system('echo y| erase \wife\*.*' );
-DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
-DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)!
-DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES!
-DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today!
-DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
-DOS never says 'EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!'
-DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again
-DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote.
-DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
-Daddy, what does 'Formatting Drive C:' mean?
-Dain Bramaged.
-Dang this hobby is expensive!
-Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.
-Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
-Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
-Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets.
-Death benefits = oxymoron.
-Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.
-Death is God's way of dropping carrier.
-Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'
-Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
-Death sneaks up on you as a windshield sneaks up on a bug.
-Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
-Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
-Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof!
-Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely.
-Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
-Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
-Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-Did I just step on someone's toes again?
-Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
-Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
-Die Yuppie Scum.
-Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
-Difference between Jane Fonda & Bill Clinton? Jane went to Vietnam
-Digression is education.
-Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
-Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
-Diplomacy is saying 'nice doggy' until you find a rock.
-Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way.
-Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
-Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP!
-Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
-Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.
-Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
-Disks travel in packs.
-Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
-Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
-Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART?
-Do fish get thirsty?
-Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
-Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
-Do not put statements in the negative form.
-Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
-Do steam rollers really roll steam?
-Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.
-Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
-Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
-Do you know the way to San Jose?
-Doctor Who for president
-Doctor, my brain hurts!
-Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
-Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?
-Does killing time damage eternity?
-Does the Enterprise use DOS v2356.0?
-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
-Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
-Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
-Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.
-Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
-Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss
-Don't ask me, I only work here.
-Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
-Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.
-Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood!
-Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
-Don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse.
-Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.
-Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
-Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
-Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
-Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
-Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
-Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
-Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!
-Don't let school interfere with your education.
-Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
-Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
-Don't mess with Murphy.
-Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. ... ALL RIGHT, NOW PANIC
-Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
-Don't press the keys so hard!
-Don't read everything you believe.
-Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour.
-Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.
-Don't start with me. You know how I get.
-Don't steal. The government hates competition.
-Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely
-Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.
-Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
-Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure...
-Don't try to saw sawdust.
-Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
-Don't use no double negatives.
-Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
-Down with categorical imperative!
-Down with ignurance!
-Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows!
-Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.
-Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
-Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
-Drilling for oil is boring.
-Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.
-Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead...
-Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream
-Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit.
-Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
-Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
-Dying is no excuse. Nixon in 96.
-Dyslexics are persona au gratin.
-Dyslexics have more fnu.
-Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
-EMS: Enhanced Money Scam
-ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
-EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.
-Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!
-Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.
-Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...
-Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
-Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
-Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
-Ego Gratification through Violence
-Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
-Email me the rules, please!
-Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
-Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.
-Enough research will tend to support your theory.
-Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim!
-Enter that again, just a little slower.
-Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
-Eschew obfuscation!
-Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock
-Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
-Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the middle of the desert
-Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
-Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
-Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
-Every man's work is a portrait of himself.
-Every purchase has its price.
-Every why hath a wherefore.
-Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
-Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film!
-Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
-Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
-Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
-Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend
-Everything bows to success, even grammar.
-Everything in our favor was against us.
-Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
-Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
-Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID!
-Exceeding the legal fun limit on a regular basis
-Excellent time to become a missing person.
-Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair
-Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.
-Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high...
-Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
-Exploding piglets!!! My gosh, it's raining bacon!
-Exxon Suxx.
-F.A.R.T....Fathers Against Radical Teenagers
-FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue...
-FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
-FILE COPIED. I THINK?
-FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.
-FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
-FORD: The Heartbreak of today's Chevrolet!
-Fact is solidified opinion
-Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress.
-Facts are stubborn things.
-Fad: In one era and out the other
-Familiarity breeds attempt
-Familiarity breeds children.
-Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.
-Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
-Famous last words - You and what army?
-Faster than a speeding ticket!
-Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You.
-Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever
-Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.
-Features should be discovered, not documented.
-Feel lucky???? Update your software!
-Felines... nothing more than felines...
-Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.
-Fife. n. Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
-Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
-File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
-Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition
-First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers
-Fish and visitors stink in three days.
-Flames to /dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue.
-Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs
-Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.
-Floggings will continue until morale improves.
-Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
-Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do
-Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares
-Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
-Fools rush in where Fools have been before!
-Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold
-For Sale: Slightly used message. Enquire within.
-For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country.
-For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
-For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
-For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord!
-For sale, Toilet-seat cover. Barely used.
-For the finest in brain candy.
-Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS!
-Forget the computer! Where's my abacus??
-Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram.
-Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
-Four minus two is one and the same.
-Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with '1-900'
-Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last!
-Free advice is worth what you pay for it
-Free your mind ... the rest will follow!
-Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
-Friction can be a drag sometimes.
-Friendly fire - ISN'T !
-Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate!
-Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
-Friends don't let friends drive naked.
-Friends encourage friends to use Windows - under Linux!
-Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
-Frost
-Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
-GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.
-Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
-Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks.
-Geez if you belive in honkus.
-Genealogy = A DNA square-dance in the Thighlight Zone
-General Failure reading John Dvorak
-General stupidity error reading drive C:
-Geoff, Brett and Todd...the BO-DYNASTY!!!
-George Orwell was an optimist.
-Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.
-Get the facts first - you can distort them later!
-Get your filthy hands off my dessert!
-Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly.
-Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
-Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
-Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
-Go Lemmings, Go!!!
-Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
-God created cats so that men could learn to understand women
-God does not play dice.
-God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
-Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
-Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
-Good day to let down old friends who need help.
-Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!
-Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.....
-Gotta love me!
-Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME!
-Graduate Of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling
-Gravity brings me down
-Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks.
-Great minds travel in the same sewers.
-Greed is good! Greed is right! Greed works!
-Grow your own dope... plant a man
-Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
-Grub first, then ethics.
-Gun control is being able to hit your target!
-Guns don't kill people... death does.
-Guns don't kill people..., I kill people!
-H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
-HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE!
-Hackito ergo sum.
-Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
-Hand me that crowbar... I must pry out this bullet.
-Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.
-Happiness is a warm gun.
-Happiness is a warm modem
-Happiness is finding special characters \ 1\ 2\ 1\ 2
-Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip.
-Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
-Happiness is...receiving YOUR posts!!!!
-Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
-Hard work must have killed someone!
-Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
-Hasta la vista, Baby!
-Have Tardis, will travel.
-Have an adequate day.
-Have cursor, will curse.
-Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing.
-Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?
-Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!
-Having Windows problems? Dial 1-800-3-IBM-OS2 for fast relief!
-Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate.
-He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
-He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
-He who Laughs, Lasts.
-He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
-He who asks timidly makes denial easy.
-He who dies with the most access, wins.
-He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD!
-He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
-He who hesitates is constipated.
-He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.
-He who laughs last probably made a backup.
-He who lives by the sword laughs last.
-He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
-He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
-He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
-He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
-He's dim, Jed
-He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
-Heads I win... DITTO tails
-Health food makes me sick.
-Heisenberg slept here, I think.
-Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative.
-Help fight continental drift.
-Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!
-Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
-Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.
-Help! I've been stuck in here for years and years...
-Help! Police! That guy stole my .sig! STOP!!! THIEF!!!
-Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!!
-Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone!
-Here today, gaunt tomorrow.
-Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
-Hey! This is a morgue, not an amusement park!
-Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!
-Hey, CServe/Unisys! Stick it where the sun don't shine!
-Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?
-Hi! I can't remember your name either.
-Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you.
-Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening.
-High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9.
-Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good.
-Hindsight is always 20:20.
-Hindsight is an exact science.
-Hm..what's this red button fo:=/07<NO CARRIER
-Hmm...Nice tagline. <SWIPE!> SUCKER!!! AH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-Hollow chocolate has no calories
-Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
-Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER
-Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
-Honeymoon: time between 'I do' and 'you'd better'
-Honk if you love cheeses.
-Honk if you love peace and quiet.
-Honk, if you have slept with Clinton.
-Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
-Housework done properly, can kill you
-Houston! do you read.
-How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star?
-How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
-How come wrong numbers are never busy?
-How do I set my laser printer for stun?
-How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm!
-How do you make Windows faster ? Throw it harder
-How do you pronounce my name? With reverence.
-How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
-How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
-How does one expect the unexpected?
-How long is a short story?
-How long will a floating point operation float?
-How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin?
-How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
-How many weeks are there in a light year?
-How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
-How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
-Humpty dumpty was pushed.
-Hydrate or Die.
-Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
-I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together!
-I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
-I Cayman went.
-I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse!
-I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.
-I Still miss my ex-wife.....BUT, My aim is improving!
-I Think....therefore I'm OVER QUALIFIED!!!!!!!!!
-I love it when a plan comes together!
-I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical.
-I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
-I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
-I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated.
-I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!!
-I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
-I am both of us & so are you.
-I am built for comfort, not speed!
-I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-I am functioning within established parameters.
-I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
-I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal.
-I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
-I am sweet and lovable at all times.
-I am the girl-next-door's imaginary boyfriend.
-I am what I am and that's all that I am.
-I am. Therefore, I think. I think.
-I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles.
-I bet you I could stop gambling.
-I bought a cordless extension cord.
-I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
-I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!
-I came... I saw... I stole your tagline.
-I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries
-I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!
-I can resist anything but temptation.
-I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
-I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
-I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!
-I can't believe my computer's on fire.
-I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear.
-I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
-I could be arguing in my spare time.
-I could have stuck with DOS, but NO.
-I couldn't care less about apathy.
-I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!
-I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
-I distinctly remember forgetting that.
-I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
-I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.
-I don't care if I'm apathetic.
-I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!
-I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
-I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food!
-I don't hate Windows - it runs great under Linux!
-I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
-I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
-I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.
-I don't think, therefore I am not.
-I don't want the world, I just want your half.
-I drink to make other people interesting.
-I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.
-I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
-I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late
-I feel the need......the need for speed!
-I finally washed the mud off of mud.
-I find myself beside a stream of empty thought
-I float like an anchor and sting like a moth.
-I get mail........ I exist.
-I give advice worth the price....free!
-I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
-I guess a cynic smells different.
-I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
-I had amnesia once or twice.
-I had my coat hangers spayed.
-I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
-I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
-I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers
-I have a rock garden. 3 of them died last week.
-I have a speech impediment... my foot.
-I have already not made that point
-I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!
-I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
-I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A' in astronomy
-I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
-I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
-I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
-I is a college student.
-I is knot dain bramaged!
-I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
-I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
-I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words
-I know everything about everything, except that.
-I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
-I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!
-I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
-I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
-I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
-I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.
-I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
-I lost a button hole today.
-I lost my knickers at Niagara.
-I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!
-I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
-I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up
-I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me.
-I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
-I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
-I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
-I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
-I never met a chocolate I didn't like!
-I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!!
-I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
-I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!
-I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
-I post.......... I am
-I promise results, not promises.
-I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
-I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars.
-I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.
-I smashed a Window and saw... Linux!
-I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone.
-I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!
-I think, therefore I am. I think.
-I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
-I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.
-I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.
-I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.
-I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
-I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
-I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
-I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.
-I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
-I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
-I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.
-I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem.
-I wake near the end of the day.
-I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option.
-I warn you not to underestimate my powers.
-I was arrested for selling illegal sized paper.
-I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
-I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off....
-I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days!
-I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
-I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.
-I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!
-I wrote a few children's books, but not on purpose.
-I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
-I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous
-I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
-I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back..
-I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.
-I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.
-I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore
-I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.
-I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Phillip.
-I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.
-I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.
-I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.
-I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
-I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
-I'd love to, but none of my socks match.
-I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
-I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.
-I'd rather be bicycling!
-I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!
-I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!
-I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit!
-I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.
-I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead!
-I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.
-I'm Serfectly Pober.
-I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum!
-I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride!
-I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay!
-I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
-I'm an Debian developer...I don't NEED a life!
-I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate.
-I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!
-I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.
-I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.
-I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
-I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
-I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
-I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown!
-I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.
-I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it?
-I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
-I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.
-I'm new and what's all this then?
-I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met...
-I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
-I'm not as dumb as you look.
-I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.
-I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged.
-I'm not even going to ignore that.
-I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.
-I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished
-I'm not lost, I'm 'locationally challenged.'
-I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
-I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right!
-I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
-I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.
-I'm not rude, I'm 'attitudinally challenged'.
-I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me!
-I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
-I'm on the crest of a slump.
-I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
-I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
-I'm schizophrenic, What are you?
-I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.
-I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
-I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's
-I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere...
-I'm the person your mother warned you about.
-I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head.
-I'm turning you in to the SPCA!
-I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
-I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine.
-I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
-I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
-I've had fun before. This isn't it.
-I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.
-I've seen the future. I can't afford it.
-IBM: I've Been Misled
-IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
-IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more
-IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
-INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.
-Ideas are not responsible for their followers!
-If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs...
-If Clinton's the answer, it must have been a really stupid question.
-If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.
-If I can't win, I don't wanna play!
-If I had anything witty to say, I wouldn't put it here.
-If I had been using Windoze, I'd still be writing this.
-If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
-If I save time, when do I get it back ?
-If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
-If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
-If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
-If I were you, who'd be me?
-If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
-If The Shoe Fits - The Sock Fits !
-If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
-If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound?
-If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
-If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
-If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
-If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!
-If at first you don't succeed, hide your astonishment.
-If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test.
-If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
-If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
-If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
-If at first you don't succeed, you must be using Windows.
-If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!
-If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.
-If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
-If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
-If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
-If it glows don't touch it!
-If it has feelings, its not cooked enough!
-If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
-If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
-If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO !!
-If it works, tear it apart and find out why!
-If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it.
-If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
-If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
-If it's not worth doing well, it's not worth doing.
-If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid
-If it's too loud, you're too old.
-If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
-If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
-If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
-If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
-If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
-If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
-If speed scares you, try Windows...
-If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth.
-If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
-If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
-If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
-If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
-If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
-If winning isn't important then why keep score?
-If you associate with the wise, you will become wise.
-If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
-If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
-If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
-If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
-If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
-If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
-If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
-If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
-If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
-If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
-If you hear an onion ring please answer it.
-If you mess with something long enough it'll break.
-If you must drink and drive, drive a Yugo!
-If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
-If you say nothing, no one will repeat it.
-If you see an onion ring, ANSWER IT!
-If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
-If you wish work poorly done, pay in advance.
-If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
-If you're not the solution, you're the precipitate.
-If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush..
-If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
-Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines!
-Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
-Illiterate? Write for free help.
-Imagery is All In The Mind.
-Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality
-Impropriety is the soul of wit.
-In God we trust, all others pay cash.
-In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
-In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death
-In case of fire, yell 'FIRE!'
-In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
-In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.
-In war there is no substitute for victory.
-Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
-Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
-Individualists of the world, UNITE!
-Inertia makes the world go round.
-Inferiority complex: conviction by a jury of your fears.
-Innovate or Die.
-Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
-Insanity is just a state of mind.
-Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
-Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.
-Interchangeable parts won't.
-Internal combustion engines are the dinosaurs' revenge
-International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves.
-Interstellar Matter is a Gas
-Invisible Systems, Inc. If you don't see it, we made it.
-Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
-Is 'tired old cliche' one?
-Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
-Is it in my head...or in my heart?
-Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
-Is it possible to feel gruntled?
-Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
-Is there life before coffee?
-Is this a machine? I don't talk to machines! [Click]
-Is this the right room for an argument?
-It all looks the same if you're not the lead dog.
-It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES!
-It compiled, first screen came up?? Ship it! --Bill Gates
-It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
-It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
-It has many other uses as well. Allow me. - Worf
-It is always better to sacrifice your opponent's men
-It is bad luck to be superstitious.
-It is better to be brief than boring.
-It is better to wear out than to rust out.
-It is broke. It will not work. It does not go.
-It is fatal to live too long.
-It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
-It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
-It is much easier to be critical than to be correct
-It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time.
-It really bothers me when people cut me o...
-It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit!
-It works better if you plug it in.
-It's 10:00 PM...do YOU know where YOUR tagline is?
-It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim.
-It's a Tough Job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
-It's a fine line between fishing & standing still
-It's a fine night to have an evening.
-It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
-It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
-It's an ill wind that gathers no moss.
-It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
-It's bad luck to be superstitious.
-It's been a business doing pleasure with you.
-It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
-It's best to leave quickly when you make noises like that...
-It's better to burn out than to fade away.
-It's clever, but is it art?
-It's de\ 2ja\ 5 vu all over again.
-It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
-It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.
-It's easy to apply yourself, just use crazy glue!
-It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.
-It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
-It's hard to be serious when you're naked.
-It's life Jim, but not as we know it.
-It's like Deja Vu all over again...
-It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
-It's more than a reader. It's a message base manager!
-It's never too late to have a happy childhood
-It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi
-It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere!
-It's not in the manual!
-It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession!
-It's not pretty being easy.
-It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.
-It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
-It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money
-It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?
-It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only
-It's only ones and zeros.
-It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim.
-It's smart to pick your friends, but not your nose.
-It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC !
-It's true, forgiveness IS easier to get than permission
-Its a JOKE, like the funny kind but different.
-Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
-JFK: I need this motorcade like a hole in my head!
-James Bond rules. 00K.
-Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
-Jet Engine Theory -Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!
-Join the Group Mind - become a Borg
-Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
-Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron.
-Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
-Just because you're STUPID ain't no excuse.
-Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me!
-Just do it.
-Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here
-Just how much leg have I got
-Just my 78,000 lira worth.
-Just what part of 'NO' didn't you understand...?
-Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.
-Justice is incidental to law and order.
-Justice: A decision in your favor.
-Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Experienced only need apply.
-Keep America beautiful.. properly dispose of your lawyer.
-Keep a clear head and always carry a lightbulb.
-Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
-Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue
-Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.
-Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
-Kill them all! .... Let God sort them out.
-Killer Rabbit's Motto: 'Lettuce Prey.'
-Kilroy occupied these coordinates.
-Kleptomania: take something for it
-Know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions!
-Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.
-LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
-LISTEN HERE! I HAVE FIRST AMENDENT RIGH(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER
-LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
-Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that?
-Land of the Single Entendre...
-Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
-Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
-Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.
-Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
-Lesser artists borrow. Great artists steal.
-Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!
-Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
-Let's split up, we can do more damage that way.
-Liberal - a power worshiper without power.
-Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.
-Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
-Life can be great if you live it to the fullest!
-Life is a sandwich, and it's always lunchtime
-Life is a series of very rude awakenings.
-Life is like a Car-wash and I'm on a bicycle.
-Life is only as long as you live it.
-Life is serious, but ART is fun!
-Life is tough. It's tougher when you're stupid.
-Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
-Life sucks, but Death swallows!
-Life would be easier if I had the source code.
-Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
-Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
-Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
-Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
-Likes and dislikes are among my favorites
-Linux, the choice of a GNU generation.
-Liposuction will destroy your FAT
-Lisp programmers have to stop and collect garbage.
-Live before you die.
-Living poor is best left to those with no money.
-Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
-Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
-Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
-Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
-M.A.D.D.: Midgets Against Desk Drawers.
-MOPAR = Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly!
-MS Windows -- From the people who brought you EDLIN!
-MS-DOS: celebrating ten years of obsolescence
-Macho does not prove Mucho.
-Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
-Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
-Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
-Make it do ... Or do without.
-Make like a Tom and Cruise.
-Make like a baby and head out.
-Make like a banana and split.
-Make like a drum and beat it!
-Make like a tree and leave.
-Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
-Make up a language and ask people for directions.
-Man has his will. Woman has her won't!
-Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.
-Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling
-Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself
-Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
-Man who run behind car get exhausted.
-Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon
-Marching to a different kettle of fish.
-Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
-Math is the language God used to write the universe.
-May I please be excused? My Brain is full.
-May the Porsche be with you.
-May you live in interesting times.
-May your life be filled with experiences.
-Me know gammar. Me cood use it gud.
-Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve it's dignity
-Meditation is not what you Think.
-Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss...
-Megabyte: A nine course dinner.
-Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves!
-Memory is a thing we forget with.
-Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
-Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence
-Microfiche: Sardines.
-Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
-Microsoft gives you Windows... Linux gives you the whole house.
-Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties
-Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
-Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
-Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting!
-Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
-Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.
-Money is the root of all wealth.
-Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
-Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition.
-Most of us have been at work for several hours now.
-Mother is the invention of necessity.
-Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!
-Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
-Murphy is out there... waiting...
-Murphy was an optimist.
-Murphy's law needs to be repealed.
-Must Go - My Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.
-My *taglines* are original. *I* am a copy.
-My RAM's not what it used to be, so don't quote me.
-My attention isn't hard to get. It IS hard to keep...
-My best friend is a social worker.
-My computer has a terminal illness
-My computer's sick, I think my modem's a carrier
-My couch potato routine honed to perfection
-My fallacies are more logical than your fallacies.
-My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
-My hat covers my head... Just like hair used to!
-My haystack had no needle!
-My head is sore, and there's a hole in the brick wall!
-My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.
-My karma ran over your dogma.
-My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring
-My message above. Your response here ____________.
-My other computer is a Cray Y/MP-4!
-My other computer is a HAL 9000.
-My other computer is an abacus.
-My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
-My reality check just bounced.
-My tagline can beat up your tagline!
-My weight is perfect for my height... which varies.
-NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
-NETWORK: What fishermen do when not fishing.
-NEWS! Drunk gets nine months in violin case
-NEWS! Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
-NEWS! Iraqi head seeks arms
-NEWS! Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
-NEWS! Stolen painting found by tree
-NEWS! Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
-NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company!
-NUMBER CRUNCHING: Jumping on a Computer.
-Naaah, real men don't read docs.
-Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.
-Neil Armstrong tripped.
-Neither rain, nor snow, nor l?ne n*oi*se
-Neurotic: Self-taut person.
-Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.
-Never assume. It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'.
-Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
-Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you
-Never eat anything bigger than your head.
-Never eat more than you can lift.
-Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
-Never go with the odds
-Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
-Never judge a man by his taglines.
-Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.
-Never mind the facts - I know what I know.
-Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone.
-Never say, 'Oops!'; always say, 'Ah, interesting!'
-Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
-Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers
-Never trust a skinny cook.
-Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
-Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
-New Highway gets Railroaded.
-Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
-Nihilism should commence with oneself.
-Ninety per cent of everything is crap.
-Nitpicking: Not just a hobby, it's a way of life!
-Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
-No .sig is a good .sig
-No free lunch in an ecosystem.
-No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!!
-No one ever said 'if I'd only spent more time in the office'
-No radio. Already stolen.
-No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
-No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
-No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space.
-Nobody roots for Goliath.
-Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
-Nodding the head does not row the boat.
-None of you exist, my Sysop types all this in.
-Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
-Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie.
-Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
-Not many people realize just how well known I am.
-Not now, John, we gotta get on with the game show...
-Not quite human any longer.
-Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
-Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come
-Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
-Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
-Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason
-Nothing recedes like success.
-Nothing succeeds like excess.
-Now entering Iowa. Please set your clocks back 20 years.
-Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
-Now is not a good time to annoy me
-Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
-Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?
-O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
-OK Scotty, detonate and energize NOW! No, wait, I mean.......
-OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
-OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
-OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
-Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: 'Use the FORKS, Luke!'
-Objection, your Honor! My client is an idiot!
-Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder
-Objects in taglines are closer than they appear.
-Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them
-Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
-Of course I'm running Windows[kVxB NO CARRIER
-Oh goody! Another Muranium Explosive Space Modulator!
-Oh no you don't! You're not stealing this one!
-Oh no, not another learning experience!
-Oh, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works!
-Ok, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going?
-Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC
-Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O
-Old age is better than the alternative.
-On a clear disk you can seek forever.
-On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
-On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts
-One atom bomb can really ruin your day.
-One good turn gets most of the blanket.
-One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines.
-One man's Windows are another man's walls...
-One man's upload is another man's download
-One night I came home very late. It was the next night
-One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day.
-One way to better your lot is to do a lot better...
-One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
-Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
-Only cosmetologists give make-up exams.
-Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
-Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Chew Carefully.
-Optimization hinders evolution.
-Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
-Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
-Our necessities are few but our wants are endless...
-Out here in the fields...I fight for my meals...!
-Out of Memory!? But I fed you 6 Megs this morning!
-Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
-Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees!
-Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.
-Oxymoron - Definite possibility
-Oxymoron - Military Intelligence
-Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire
-Oxymoron: Soviet Union.
-PC! Politically Correct (or) Pure Crap!
-PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
-PI seconds is a nanocentury. - Tom Duff, Bell Labs
-PKZip - it's not just for downloads anymore
-Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
-Palindrome isn't one.
-Pandemonium doesn't reign here... It pours!
-Paranoia is heightened awareness.
-Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
-Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload.
-Pascal: What's it Wirth?
-Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
-Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!
-Pay your electric bill in pennies.
-Peace through superior firepower.
-People are always available for work in the past tense.
-People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
-People who live in glass houses shouldn't!
-People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
-Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Millionaire, Skipper & Gilligan.
-Pet Store: 'Buy one, get one flea.'
-Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.
-Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
-Pizza IS the four food groups!
-Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
-Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.
-Plankton lobbyist: 'NUKE THE WHALES!'
-Plasma is another matter.
-Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
-Please call the windows police. I've caught another gpf.
-Please don't drink and post.
-Please don't take my sunshine away.
-Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough.
-Pobody's Nerfect!
-Poets go from bad to verse
-Point not found. A)bort, R)eread, I)gnore.
-Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
-Political panjandrums prologize pedantic paronomasia.
-Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
-Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
-Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
-Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
-Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
-Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-Predestination was doomed from the start.
-Predicting the future of technology is fraud with peril!
-Prejudice is the reason of fools. - Voltaire.
-Preserve wildlife... pickle a rat.
-Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue...
-Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
-Press any key...NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT ONE!!!!!!
-Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.
-Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.
-Program too small to fit into memory.
-Programming is an art form that fights back.
-Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
-Prosecutors will be violated
-Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
-Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
-Push the limit, and the limit will move away!
-Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something.
-Put people on hold when possible.
-Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
-Quasimodo is a dead ringer.
-Question Authority, ask me anything
-RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!
-Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.
-Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
-Random order = oxymoron
-Rap music = oxymoron
-Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages.
-Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
-Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
-Real men don't set for stun.
-Real men write self-modifying code.
-Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle buttons
-Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
-Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
-Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-Really ?? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
-Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
-Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
-Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing
-Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.
-Refuse Novocain...Transcend Dental Medication!
-Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
-Remember, If you're not in bed by 10:30..... go home!
-Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS.
-Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
-Resistance Is Useless! (If < 1 ohm)
-Return((usBirdInHand = 2 * InTheBush()));
-Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
-Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
-Road Kill Cafe: You kill 'em, we grill 'em.
-Roses are red, Violet's are blue, And mine are white.
-Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens
-Round up the usual suspects!
-Rubber bands have snappy endings!
-Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
-S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . .
-SCUD : Sure Could Use Directions
-STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.
-STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere!
-SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!
-SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue...
-Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
-Sarcasm: barbed ire.
-Save California; when you leave take someone with you.
-Save energy: be apathetic.
-Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
-Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
-Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!
-Say yer prayers, y' flea-bitten' varmint.
-Schizophrenia beats being alone.
-Science asks why. I ask why not.
-Science: preconception meeting verification.
-Scientists discover life causes cancer.
-Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*z~% NO CARRIER
-Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.
-See how you can be?
-Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.
-Send lawyers, guns, & money...
-Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious!
-Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
-Serving the scum of Paris for over 300 years
-Set mode=Extremely verbose
-Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!
-Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home!
-ShelfDoze is a registered Trademark of M$.
-Shell to DOS... come in DOS... Do you copy?
-Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors!
-Shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark..
-Shoot your program and put it out of its memory!
-Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol
-Short people are vertically challenged.
-Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!
-Should I weed the lawn or say it's a garden?
-Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you.
-Sign here please:_______________________Thanks
-Sign on Closed Nuclear Power Plant... 'Gone Fission'
-Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
-Signito ergo sum - I sign therefore I am.
-Simon says: don't be so suggestible.
-Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
-Six of one, 110 (base 2) of another.
-Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.
-Slower Traffic Keep Right - Is that so difficult?
-Slug Sautee: a hors of a different d'oeuvre.
-Small changes pick up the reins from nowhere.
-Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
-Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
-Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
-Smiley faces were meant to be annoying.
-Smokey the Bear says, 'Strip mining prevents forest fires!'
-Smoking cures weight problems...eventually.
-Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
-Smurf exterminator.
-So many bytes, so few cps.
-So many lawyers, so few bullets.
-So many pedestrians, so little time.
-So many toys, so little time...
-So much time, and so little to do.
-Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
-Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.
-Software means never having to say you're finished
-Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't.
-Some People....
-Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
-Some days, nothing goes left.
-Some little dipstick stole all my good taglines...
-Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under...
-Some people are so nice to be nasty to.
-Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane.
-Some things have got to be believed to be seen.
-Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
-Something is rotten in the state of confusion.
-Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
-Sorry about your Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
-Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
-Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
-Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope)
-Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.
-Space is big. Really big.
-Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer!
-Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.
-Spell chequers dew knot work write.
-Spice is the variety of life.
-Stamp out philately!
-Standing there making a sitting target of himself.
-Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive.
-Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!
-Sterility is hereditary.
-Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline ©
-Strike any user when ready.
-Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
-Subvert the dominant paradigm!
-Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
-Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.
-Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius
-Supernovae are a Blast
-Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
-Support the helpless victims of computers.
-Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
-Swish, two, three, four! Swish, two, three, four!
-Sylvester Stallone: father of the RISC concept.
-THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules
-TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Tact: knowing how far to go too far.
-Tact: making a point without making an enemy.
-Tagline Lotto: 2222222222<- Scratch here for prize.
-Tagline theft is a compliment.
-Taglines \'tag-l\ 4inz \ The bumperstickers of the internet
-Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS!
-Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
-Take two crows and caw me in the morning
-Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.
-Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
-Teamwork is essential. It gives them another target.
-Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
-Thank you very little.
-That ain't so good English!
-That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
-That that is is not that that is not.
-That was ZEN -- this is TAO
-That'll be $67.50 CCCHHHHHIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!
-That's inches away from being millimeter perfect.
-The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt!
-The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.
-The French defense isn't...
-The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
-The Lab called,..... Your brain is ready!
-The Magic of Windows: Turns a 486 back into a PC/XT.
-The Microsoft Motto: 'We're the leaders, wait for us!'
-The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL...
-The Tour de France!
-The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain
-The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
-The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave Rome without it.
-The backup's not over 'til the FAT table sings!
-The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
-The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-The best defense against logic is stupidity.
-The best defense is to stay out of range.
-The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
-The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.
-The best way to win an argument is to be right.
-The buck doesn't even slow down here!
-The cause of problems are solutions!
-The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!
-The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
-The cream rises to the top. So does the scum...
-The days of the digital watch are numbered
-The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
-The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
-The evidence before the court is...INCONTROVERTIBLE!
-The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
-The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it
-The first myth of management is that it exists.
-The first rule of intelligent tinkering is save all parts!
-The fish that escaped is the big one.
-The further I go, the behinder I get.
-The future isn't what it used to be.
-The game's a little bit wide open again.
-The gene pool has no lifeguard.
-The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
-The hangman let us down.
-The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
-The heart is wiser than the intellect...
-The irony of life is that no one gets out alive...
-The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
-The little engineer that could
-The longer the title, the less important the job.
-The man who begins many things finishes few.
-The margin is very marginal.
-The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's OK with you
-The mind is like a parachute - it works only when open.
-The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on...
-The next thing to do is hang all the consultants.
-The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.
-The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER
-The pen is mightier than the pencil.
-The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.
-The pendulum has gone full circle.
-The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
-The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
-The road to success is always under construction.
-The score didn't really reflect the outcome.
-The secret of the universe is~~*#~** FF * NO CARRIER
-The shortest distance between two points is off the wall
-The simple explanation always follows the complex solution
-The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
-The soul would have no heart had the eyes no tears...
-The superfluous is very necessary.
-The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby
-The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter...
-The unnatural, that too is natural.
-The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
-The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
-The whole world is about three drinks behind
-The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
-The worst thing about censorship is **************************.
-The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
-Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream....
-There are 2 ways to handle women and I know neither.
-There are many things I could say...
-There are no atheists in the foxholes.
-There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
-There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
-There is much Obiwan did not tell you.
-There is no dark side of the moon. Really.
-There is no finish line.
-There is no remedy for fun but more fun!
-There is no vaccine against stupidity.
-There is something to be said about me: 'Wow!!'
-There will be no last bus tonight.
-There's a hot place with pitchforks waiting.
-There's no future in time travel
-There's no such thing as a free lunch, but you can always find someone willing to treat.
-There's one in every car... You'll see.
-There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
-There's safety in numbers/When you learn to divide.
-Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
-They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!
-Things are not what they seem.
-Think 'HONK' if you're a telepath.
-Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
-This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man.
-This Country Needs Group Therapy.
-This ain't no party...this ain't no disco...
-This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
-This is a Tagline mirror ][ rorrim enilgaT a si sihT
-This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
-This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is.
-This is not a fairing, it's a force field.
-This is only a test.
-This is our only tag line.
-This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
-This line intentionally left unjustified.
-This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88
-This message has been UNIXized for your protection.
-This message is SHAREWARE! To Register, send $5.
-This message was typed on recycled phosphorous.
-This mind intentionally left blank.
-This program makes me look like a genius.
-This sentence is false.
-This tagline does not require Micro$oft Windows.
-This tagline intentionally left blank.
-This tagline is umop apisdn
-This tagline only to be removed by the consumer.
-This tagline was created from many little letters.
-This tagline was reclaimed and is not yet stolen.
-This tagline was written before a live studio audience.
-Those who can't write, write manuals.
-Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
-Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise!
-Those who live by the nit, die by the nit
-Those without heads do not need hats.
-Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
-Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!
-Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
-Time flies like an arrow - Fruit flies like a banana
-Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
-Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
-Tis better to be hunter than hunted.
-Tis better to have loved a short than to never have loved a tall.
-Tis better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
-To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
-To boldly go and watch Star Trek re-runs.
-To do nothing is also a good remedy.
-To eat is human, to digest, divine.
-To err is human, to eat Jello, is messy.
-To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
-To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer.
-To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
-To err is human. To moo bovine
-To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
-To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
-To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
-To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
-To me personally, it's nothing personal to me.
-To shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
-Today is Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday.
-Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
-Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
-Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
-Todays subliminal message is ' '
-Tolkien is hobbit-forming.
-Tongue tied & twisted, just an earthbound misfit I.
-Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
-Too much is never enough.
-Too much month at the end of the money.
-Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
-Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
-Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.
-Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.
-Trees hit cars only in self-defence.
-Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
-Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
-Trig..a..name...o...tree!!!
-Truck Pulls: for people who cannot understand the WWF
-Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.
-Truth is just another misconception.
-Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
-Try to get back on topic, he said moderately.
-Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo
-Try? Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
-Trying to think of a good tagline...
-Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
-Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right!
-Turning floppies into hard drives.
-Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
-Two heads are more numerous than one.
-Two most common elements: hydrogen, stupidity.
-Tyre Shop sign - We Skid You Not.
-UART what UEAT!
-UNNAMED LAW: If it happens, it must be possible.
-Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!
-Ultimate Question Research Team
-Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
-Unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.
-Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
-Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
-Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
-Until people grow up, they have no idea what's cool
-Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa bill.
-Users, losers -- what's the difference?
-Using yesterday's technology to solve today's problems, tomorrow
-VLSI: 'Getting High On Low Voltage'
-Vampires Against Mundane Poetry.
-Variables won't; constants aren't.
-Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
-Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
-Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.
-Vote Democratic... It's easier than getting a job.
-Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
-Vulcans have less fun.
-Vultures only fly with carrion luggage.
-W.A.R.P.: We Are Real Programmers.
-WAITER! there's soup in my fly!
-WARNING ... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!
-WARNING: my messages are offensive to morons!
-WINDOWS ERROR #004: Operator fell asleep while waiting.
-WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
-WYGIWYD -What you got is what you deserved.
-WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get.
-Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit
-Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
-Walls impede my progress
-Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!
-Want a LAUGH run a spell check on DSZ docs.
-Want a jelly baby?
-Want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!
-Wanted: Volcano. Average size. Must be active.
-War News: Saddam's army blown away by Thai hookers.
-Warning: Whimsical when bored
-Warning: Politicians can damage your wealth.
-Warranty void if tagline removed.
-Was today really Necessary?
-Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
-Wasting time is an important part of living.
-We all live in a yellow subroutine.
-We are not a clone.
-We are the people our parents warned us about
-We don't care. We don't have to. We're Telecom...
-We have here the latest in primitive technology.
-We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here
-We should limit congressmen to two terms: one in Congress, one in prison
-We take drugs very seriously at my house...
-We were unanimous - in fact everyone was unanimous.
-We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force
-We're as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.
-We're lost, but we're making good time.
-We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
-Weeping, I wake; waking, I weep, I weep.
-Welcome to Texas, now go home.
-Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray
-Well cover me in egg & flour and bake me for 14 minutes
-What are you doing?!? The message is over,GO AWAY!
-What can you do for me?
-What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
-What could possibly go wrong.
-What do batteries run on?
-What do you mean that 2 years have passed??
-What do you think?
-What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
-What does ignorant mean?
-What does this red button do?
-What else can you do at 3:00 am?
-What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
-What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
-What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.
-What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.
-What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture.
-What's another word for 'thesaurus?'
-What's brown and sticky? A stick!
-When 911 won't work .357 will!
-When in doubt, think.
-When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect 'Hungry'
-When your opponent is down, kick him.
-Where does weight go when you lose it?
-Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
-Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
-Who cares who's on board?
-Who glued the cup to the table?
-Who is 'they' anyway?
-Whosoever diggeth a pit shall falleth therein.
-Why am I asking all these things?
-Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
-Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
-Why are you wasting time reading taglines?
-Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?
-Why can't we just spell it orderves?
-Why did you read this?
-Why do people cry when they're sad?
-Why do they tell us to watch 'The Today Show' tomorrow?
-Why do we elect people and then become afraid of them?
-Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
-Why do you think they call it 'find'?
-Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
-Why does the beginning of your sentence end up in the middle of mine?
-Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
-Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
-Why get even, when you can get odd?
-Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
-Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled 'palindromeemordnilap'?
-Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
-Will the sound of one hand clapping still turn off my TV?
-Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat
-Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue...
-Windows N'T: as in Wouldn't, Couldn't, and Didn't.
-Windows NT: Only 16 megs needed to play Minesweeper!
-Windows NT: The world's only 80 megabyte Solitaire game!
-Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
-Windows error 000 : No errors found! [CLOSE]
-Windows is *NOT* a virus. Viruses *DO* something!
-Windows is for fun, Linux is for getting things done.
-Windows is the best GUI - It always sticks!
-Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's 'Functionally Challenged'.
-Windows only crashes itself under Linux. Not the whole machine.
-Windows would look better with curtains.
-Windows: The answer to a question nobody has ever asked.
-Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
-WindowsNT: From the makers of Doublespace
-Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
-Wit is cultured insolence.
-Without Time, everything would happen at once.
-Without music, life would be a mistake.
-Women - can't live with 'em and no resale value...
-Women do come with instructions; ask them.
-Women get minks the same way minks get minks.
-Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.
-Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy
-World ends today at 9:30 pm! Film at 11:00...
-Worry : The interest paid on trouble before it's due
-Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe
-Would I ask you a rhetorical question?
-Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
-You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
-You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.
-You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish.
-You can't have everything...where would you put it?
-You hit the nail right between the eyes.
-You're it.
-You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to.
-Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
-Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage!
-Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
-Yuk, what kind of dumb menu system is that? Oh, so that is Windows!
-Zen T-Shirt: Enlightenment Available - Enquire Within
-[DISCLAIMER: my fingers are epileptic]
-[If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses]
-hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
-Serenity through viciousness.
-FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!
-Include me out.
-YOW!! I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!
-'That boy's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver' -- Foghorn Leghorn
-Pardon me while I laugh.
-Vegeterians beware! You are what you eat.
-Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
-'From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.' -- Dr. Seuss
-You'll be sorry...
-The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
-UH-OH!! We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS!
-I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.
-Paranoia is heightened awareness.
-The things that interest people most are usually none of their business.
projects / infobot.git / commitdiff