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[infobot.git] / files / infobot.lart

diff --git a/files/infobot.lart b/files/infobot.lart
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 #
 
 --purges WHO
 #
 
 --purges WHO

+accelerates a free AOL cd to 50,000 rpm and lets WHO feel it
+acting on orders from an unspecified client drags WHO into court suing for $200 million
+beats the living hamstercrap out of WHO
+beats WHO into protomatter with the andromeda galaxy
+beats WHO over the head with a microkernel

 beats WHO senseless with a 50lb Unix manual
 beats WHO senseless with a 50lb Unix manual

+beats WHO severely about the head and shoulders with a rubber chicken
+beats WHO to within 2.54cm of his life
+blames WHO for all the evil in the world
+blasts WHO to oblivion with a kamehameha wave
+blasts WHO with a huge firehose then strangles WHO with it
+brandishes Excalibur! "With this sword, I vanquish thee, WHO!" and lops off WHO's head
+breaks out the Hoover and sucks up WHO
+burns WHO to a crisp with a laser
+calls WHO on the phone ... the lights are on but nobody's home

 cats /dev/urandom into WHO's ear
 cats /dev/urandom into WHO's ear

+changes WHO's permissions to 0777 and tells the world

 chops WHO in half with a free AOL CD
 chops WHO in half with a free Solaris 7 CD
 chops WHO in half with a free AOL CD
 chops WHO in half with a free Solaris 7 CD

+crushes WHO with a full height scsi disk
+cuts off WHO's head with a halberd that could have been a little bit sharper
+cuts WHO into thin stripes

 decapitates WHO conan the destroyer style
 decapitates WHO conan the destroyer style

+declares WHO a moron
+does a little 'dpkg -P WHO' action

 does a little 'renice 20 -u WHO'
 does a little 'renice 20 -u WHO'

+DoSes WHO
+drops a baby grand on WHO
+drops a humongous exploding nuke on WHO

 drops a truckload of VAXen on WHO
 duct-tapes WHO to the floor and drools on him
 drops a truckload of VAXen on WHO
 duct-tapes WHO to the floor and drools on him

+dumps 42 tons of dirt, manure, and fish heads on WHO
+eats WHO and falls over dead
+eats WHO's liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti
+executes killall -HUP WHO
+executes killall -KILL WHO
+executes killall -TERM WHO
+explains, ever so gently, that if WHO doesn't give the channel more information, they can't help
+farts in WHO's general direction
+flings poo at WHO
+follow's WHO with a gauntlet and ... scratch ... HUMILIATION
+forces WHO to use Outlook Express

 frags WHO with his BFG9000
 frags WHO with his BFG9000

+gets a hotmal account and SPAMs WHO
+gives WHO a "free" copy of Windows and then charges double for "Upgrades"
+gives WHO a good seeing to
+gives WHO an extra strength ACME sleeping pill, sending WHO to sleep for 150 years, and awakening to seven strange dwarfs and a large apple
+grabs a large, mis-shapened log, with squirrels, and beats WHO until only the nuts remain ... which the squirrels run off with
+hauls WHO up by the scruff of the neck and spanks him until he waddles
+hereby declares WHO a troll
+hits WHO with an anvil and laughs with a contralto voice ... Haha Ha HA Ha

 holds WHO to the floor and spanks him with a cat-o-nine-tails
 holds WHO to the floor and spanks him with a cat-o-nine-tails

+hooks into a hydrant and hoses WHO down
+hurls dozens of incontinent, insomniac, hungry kittens with tiny little razor-sharp claws and a wide variety of contagious intestinal parasites at WHO
+installs a bad bootloader on WHO and turns WHO into a brick
+installs PocketPC on WHO's PDA

 judo chops WHO
 judo chops WHO

+keeps mailing WHO free America Online CDs until he drowns
+lowers WHO's priority
+makes a balloon animal out of WHO
+moos at WHO
+nabs the moon and broadsides WHO with the sea of tranquility
+nukes WHO with a single large nuke
+offers WHO some herring
+overclocks WHO until WHO burns out
+plops WHO into a giant vat of herring
+pours gasoline all over WHO, ignites the fire, and then enjoys some toasty marshmallows with the glorious blaze

 pours hot grits down the front of WHO's pants
 pours hot grits down the front of WHO's pants

+pries WHO's back open with a screwdriver and flashes a new bootldr to WHO
+pulls out a ClueBat (tm) and thwaps WHO

 pulls out his louisville slugger and uses WHO's head to break the homerun record
 pushes the wall down onto WHO whilst whistling innocently
 pulls out his louisville slugger and uses WHO's head to break the homerun record
 pushes the wall down onto WHO whilst whistling innocently

+puts on a hockey mask and jumps out at WHO
+puts on some milking gloves.  "All right, now, WHO, this won't hurt a bit...."
+puts WHO into a headlock and administers a mighty noogie, rubbing half of WHO's hair of
+puts WHO through a wood chipper
+raises middle finger to WHO
+readies the nuke launcher and fires some rounds at WHO

 resizes WHO's terminal to 40x24
 rm -rf's WHO
 resizes WHO's terminal to 40x24
 rm -rf's WHO

+runs at WHO with an origami Swiss Army knife, and inflicts a nasty paper cut
+says "boot to the head" and knocks WHO over
+send killer squirrels to attack WHO
+sends a legion of lawyers after WHO's head
+shoots WHO in his sleep
+shoots WHO in the head
+shoves a crumpet down WHO's throat, happy now?! Huh? Want some JAM with that?
+slams WHO against a large cement Tux
+slaps a compatible dib on WHO's head
+slaps WHO around with a large trout
+slaps WHO upside and over the head with one freakishly huge killer whale named hugh
+slaps WHO upside the head with a wet fish
+smacks WHO up side the head with a clue-by-4
+squeezes WHO till WHO turns blue like papa smurf
+squishes WHO like a bug

 stabs WHO
 stabs WHO

+stamps WHO on the forehead with the official Troll marker

 steals WHO's mojo
 steals WHO's mojo

+strangles WHO with a 9-pole serial cable

 strangles WHO with a doohicky mouse cord
 strangles WHO with a doohicky mouse cord

+stuffs WHO into a shiny new tin can and vacuum seals it
+takes a big bite out of WHO's jugular vein
+takes a large goose feather pillow and swings it wildly in WHO's direction, hitting WHO and sending WHO flying into the closet
+takes a rusty axe and swings it violently, taking WHO's head off
+takes large quantities of Krispy Kream donuts and stuffs them one after another down WHO's throat until WHO puts on 150lbs
+takes out a cattle prod and gives WHO a good jolt
+takes out a seltzer bottle and sprays WHO in the face. You know, one of those old-school seltzer bottles clowns have? Yeah those. Anyway, consider yourself spritzed
+takes out WHO with the trash
+takes WHO to the vet for a "special" visit
+teaches WHO that M$ Access is a database. No, really, a database. A real live multi-user... well, ok, not multi-user, but a database. Yeah, that sounds right.
+teaches WHO the basics, including how to RTM
+throws a AN/M-8 smoke grenade at WHO
+throws WHO's poor little doggy off a cliff
+tries to shut WHO up
+turns WHO into a lifesized tux doll

 urinates on WHO
 urinates on WHO

+wallops WHO with a main rotation server that needs rehubbing.  It won't take long
+whacks WHO upside the head
+whacks WHO with a giant beaver's tail

 whacks WHO with the cluebat
 whacks WHO with the cluebat

+whips out a hot clue gun and makes sure that WHO is stuck to the floor
+whips out a shotgun, trudges over to WHO, and goes postal

 whips out a sword and chops WHO in half
 whips out a sword and chops WHO in half

-whips out his power stapler and staples WHO's genitalia to the ground
+whips out his power stapler and staples WHO's foot to the floor
+whips WHO with a wet and grimy noodle just because