2 # insult.pl: insult engine
4 # 2004.10.21 Tim Riker <Tim@Rikers.org>
5 # colorado server is dead. pull in the words and do it ourself
17 &::DEBUG('Reading insult data');
20 push( @adjs, split( ' ', $1 ) ) if /^adj\s*(.*)/;
21 push( @amts, split( ' ', $1 ) ) if /^amt\s*(.*)/;
22 push( @nouns, split( ' ', $1 ) ) if /^noun\s*(.*)/;
24 grep( s/\|/ /g, @adjs );
25 grep( s/\|/ /g, @amts );
26 grep( s/\|/ /g, @nouns );
27 srand(); # fork seems to not change rand. force it here
28 my $adj = @adjs[ rand(@adjs) ];
30 $n = 'n' if $adj =~ /^[aeiouih]/;
31 my $amt = @amts[ rand(@amts) ];
32 my $adj2 = @adjs[ rand(@adjs) ];
33 my $noun = @nouns[ rand(@nouns) ];
34 my $whois = "$insultwho is";
35 $whois = 'You are' if ( $insultwho eq $::who or $insultwho eq 'me' );
37 &::performStrictReply("$whois nothing but a$n $adj $amt of $adj2 $noun");
42 # vim:ts=4:sw=4:expandtab:tw=80
46 # configuration file for colorado insult server
48 # Use the '|' character to include a space in the middle of a noun, adjective
49 # or amount (it'll get transmogrified into a space. No, really!).
51 # Mon Mar 16 10:49:53 MST 1992 garnett added more colorful insults
52 # Fri Dec 6 10:48:43 MST 1991 garnett
58 adj acidic antique contemptible culturally-unsound despicable evil fermented
59 adj festering foul fulminating humid impure inept inferior industrial
60 adj left-over low-quality malodorous off-color penguin-molesting
61 adj petrified pointy-nosed salty sausage-snorfling tastless tempestuous
62 adj tepid tofu-nibbling unintelligent unoriginal uninspiring weasel-smelling
63 adj wretched spam-sucking egg-sucking decayed halfbaked infected squishy
64 adj porous pickled coughed-up thick vapid hacked-up
65 adj unmuzzled bawdy vain lumpish churlish fobbing rank craven puking
66 adj jarring fly-bitten pox-marked fen-sucked spongy droning gleeking warped
67 adj currish milk-livered surly mammering ill-borne beef-witted tickle-brained
68 adj half-faced headless wayward rump-fed onion-eyed beslubbering villainous
69 adj lewd-minded cockered full-gorged rude-snouted crook-pated pribbling
70 adj dread-bolted fool-born puny fawning sheep-biting dankish goatish
71 adj weather-bitten knotty-pated malt-wormy saucyspleened motley-mind
72 adj it-fowling vassal-willed loggerheaded clapper-clawed frothy ruttish
73 adj clouted common-kissing pignutted folly-fallen plume-plucked flap-mouthed
74 adj swag-bellied dizzy-eyed gorbellied weedy reeky measled spur-galled mangled
75 adj impertinent bootless toad-spotted hasty-witted horn-beat yeasty
76 adj imp-bladdereddle-headed boil-brained tottering hedge-born hugger-muggered
82 amt accumulation bucket coagulation enema-bucketful gob half-mouthful
83 amt heap mass mound petrification pile puddle stack thimbleful tongueful
84 amt ooze quart bag plate ass-full assload
89 noun bat|toenails bug|spit cat|hair chicken|piss dog|vomit dung
90 noun fat-woman's|stomach-bile fish|heads guano gunk pond|scum rat|retch
91 noun red|dye|number-9 Sun|IPC|manuals waffle-house|grits yoo-hoo
92 noun dog|balls seagull|puke cat|bladders pus urine|samples
93 noun squirrel|guts snake|assholes snake|bait buzzard|gizzards
94 noun cat-hair-balls rat-farts pods armadillo|snouts entrails
95 noun snake|snot eel|ooze slurpee-backwash toxic|waste Stimpy-drool
96 noun poopy poop craptacular|carpet|droppings jizzum cold|sores anal|warts