+++ /dev/null
-<per_verso> do you know how to solve a fucking error with fam and gnome2?
-<dmp> fucking error, hey? Have you tried viagra?
-%
-<caphuso> gelileo: read the fucking exim docs
-* dondelelcaro didn't know that exim's docs contained the kamasutra as well...
-%
-<HoserHead> I saw a squirrel the other day which was the size of a small cat
-<HoserHead> I think I'll contract it out as a mercenary
-%
-"Impotent?" the radio said. "Unable to achieve an orgasm? Hardovax
-will turn disappointment into joy." Another voice, then, that of a
-miserable male. "Gosh, Sally, I don't know what's been the matter with
-me. I know you've notied that I'm completely flaccid of late. Gosh
-everyone's noticed." A female voice, then. "Henry, what you need is a
-simple pill called hardovax. And in days you'll be a real man."
-"Hardovax?" Henry echoed. "Gosh, maybe I should try it."
- -- Phillip K. Dick _Intergalactic Pot-Healer_
-%
-[As] a fun trick [He] might instantly create the world with trillions of
-fossils and fill outer space with countless photons all hinting that the
-universe is old and higher life evolved from lower life, then reserve the
-actual truth to a 20th-generation copy of one particular enigmatic book out
-of a selection of dozens of similar but false enigmatic books. If that's the
-case, then reality is so bizarre that there's no use arguing; clearly the
-world would be a minefield of false evidence and logical traps.
- -- Anonymous Coward /. CID: #10686935
-%
-"Bus signs stopped me from fucking children"
-
-From http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,65772,00.html
-
- The panelists all agreed that the government should fund health
- campaigns to educate the public about the dangers of
- pornography. The campaign should combat the messages of pornography
- by putting signs on buses saying sex with children is not OK, said
- Layden.
-
-"I was gonna go fuck the neighbor boy, but the bus sign reminded me
-not to," testified recovering child fucker N. Curable Sicko. "Until
-now, nothing had been able to stop me from having my way with them,
-not even the prospect of being sent to prison where I'd be raped
-constantly. Now, with the bus signs, I'm able to control my urges."
-
- -- Alter Relationship <andy@petdance.com> /. CID: #10872139
-%
-"This serenely beautiful young lady [...] was scented with some
-perfume which may have been named Spring Breezes but should have been
-called Justifiable Rape and sold only under doctor's prescription."
- -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough for Love_ p 214
-%
-When the strain becomes TOO MUCH it's because Hitrip of California
-bred it to have less stalk per ounce, more clean-queen leaf. Ask "The
-Man who's Married to Mary Jane"!
- -- John Brunner _Stand on Zanzibar_ p. 3
-%
-Do your slax sufficiently convey your natural power--at a glance? If
-you're wearing MasQ-Lines, the answer's yes. Tired of half measures,
-we at MasQ-Line Crop. have put the codpiece back where it belongs, to
-say to the shiggies not kidder but codder.
- -- John Brunner _Stand on Zanzibar_ p. 4
-%
-This is the fundamental difference between Democrats and Republicans:
-Democrats believe that the answer to a problem is to decry it as a
-social wrong and then waste money on easily exploited governmental
-programs. Republicans believe that the answer to a problem is to
-declare war on it and waste money on specific contractors in the
-military industrial complex.
- -- Adapted from Anonymous Coward on /. CID: #13639761
-%
-Who Would Jesus Do?
-%
-Channel 9 had on the Dead Baby Hour. That's what I call it. I'ts an
-infomercialthat shows pictures of dead babies in buckets while the
-narrator talks about liberal homosexual baby killers. It's so gross
-but you keep watching it because you can't believe how disgusting it
-is.
- -- Lola Hart in Jack Womak's _Random Acts of Senseless Violence_
-%
-squid make poor wives
-all those arms are good for cuddling
-but no one wants
-a beak job
- -- http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_may19_2006.htm
-%
-the best time to skinny dip alone is dusk
-your breasts and hips lolling in the water, waiting
-to be the next Loch Ness monster sighting
- -- http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_may12_2006.htm
-%
-when my mother died
-we flew her home
-where there's no law
-against animatronic
-taxidermy
- -- http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_aug26_2005.htm
-%
-when we kiss I can hear your thoughts
-so I would rather we didn't
- -- http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_jul22_2005.htm
-%
-We bet him five dolars that he would drown.
-A bittersweet victory.
- -- http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_jul9_2004.htm
-%
-I told everyone I built my robot wife for sex
-but late at night when we're alone
-we mostly play battleship.
- -- http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_may21_2004.htm
-%
-"...Yet terrible as UNIX addiction is, there are worse fates. If UNIX
-is the heroin of operating systems, then VMS is barbiturate addiction, the
-Mac is MDMA, and MS-DOS is sniffing glue. (Windows is filling your sinuses
-with lucite and letting it set.) You owe the Oracle a twelve-step program."
- --The Usenet Oracle
-%
-I wish seeing you naked
-was as good
-as wishing I could see you naked
- -- a softer world #502
- http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=502
-%
-In the group was a man who sought carnal knowledge of blimps. He had
-been arrested three times for trying to fuck the Goodyear dirigible.
-Even among his own kind he was looked on with distaste; unable to find
-the species of sex partners his pathology demanded, he had grown
-steadily more perverted and had taken to attacking helicopters; the
-mere mention of an autogyro gave him a noticeable erection.
- -- Harlan Ellison "Neon" (_Deathbird Stories_ p65)
-%
-Your village called.
-They want their idiot back.
- -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/c23.html
projects / lib.git / commitdiff