X-Git-Url: https://git.donarmstrong.com/?a=blobdiff_plain;f=src%2FModules%2Finsult.pl;h=57acc2de8aebf453ae7d234f9c20da19c4f9c7f7;hb=cb81fea9939f349b36e3b5a0cdc0343a6b781da1;hp=e13979113f198db4b650ea3b45ec399c88cb9d63;hpb=0aa3bd828d0482ad2bd15ef94ce88bf52fb68849;p=infobot.git

diff --git a/src/Modules/insult.pl b/src/Modules/insult.pl
index e139791..57acc2d 100644
--- a/src/Modules/insult.pl
+++ b/src/Modules/insult.pl
@@ -1,28 +1,96 @@
 #
 # insult.pl: insult engine
-#      TODO: move this code out to a common file like I did with DNS.
-#	     => use the command hooks system aswell
 #
-
-use strict;
+# 2004.10.21  Tim Riker <Tim@Rikers.org>
+# colorado server is dead. pull in the words and do it ourself
+#
 
 package Insult;
 
+use strict;
+
 sub Insult {
     my ($insultwho) = @_;
-    return unless &::loadPerlModule("Net::Telnet");
-
-    my $t = new Net::Telnet(Timeout => 3);
-    $t->Net::Telnet::open(Host => "insulthost.colorado.edu", Port => "1695");
-    my $line = $t->Net::Telnet::getline(Timeout => 4);
-
-    $line = "No luck, $::who" unless (defined $line);
-
-    if ($insultwho ne $::who) { 
-	$line =~ s/^\s*You are/$insultwho is/i;
+    my @adjs;
+    my @amts;
+    my @nouns;
+    &::DEBUG('Reading insult data');
+    while (<DATA>) {
+	chomp;
+	push(@adjs, split(' ', $1)) if /^adj\s*(.*)/;
+	push(@amts, split(' ', $1)) if /^amt\s*(.*)/;
+	push(@nouns, split(' ', $1)) if /^noun\s*(.*)/;
     }
+    grep(s/\|/ /g, @adjs);
+    grep(s/\|/ /g, @amts);
+    grep(s/\|/ /g, @nouns);
+    srand(); # fork seems to not change rand. force it here
+    my $adj = @adjs[rand(@adjs)];
+    my $n;
+    $n = 'n' if $adj =~ /^[aeiouih]/;
+    my $amt = @amts[rand(@amts)];
+    my $adj2 = @adjs[rand(@adjs)];
+    my $noun = @nouns[rand(@nouns)];
+    my $whois = "$insultwho is";
+    $whois = 'You are' if ($insultwho eq $::who or $insultwho eq 'me');
 
-    &::pSReply($line);
+    &::performStrictReply("$whois nothing but a$n $adj $amt of $adj2 $noun");
 }
 
 1;
+
+# vim:ts=4:sw=4:expandtab:tw=80
+
+__DATA__
+#
+# configuration file for colorado insult server
+#
+# Use the '|' character to include a space in the middle of a noun, adjective
+# or amount (it'll get transmogrified into a space.  No, really!).
+#
+# Mon Mar 16 10:49:53 MST 1992 garnett added more colorful insults
+# Fri Dec  6 10:48:43 MST 1991 garnett
+#
+
+##
+# Adjectives
+##
+adj acidic antique contemptible culturally-unsound despicable evil fermented
+adj festering foul fulminating humid impure inept inferior industrial
+adj left-over low-quality malodorous off-color penguin-molesting
+adj petrified pointy-nosed salty sausage-snorfling tastless tempestuous
+adj tepid tofu-nibbling unintelligent unoriginal uninspiring weasel-smelling
+adj wretched spam-sucking egg-sucking decayed halfbaked infected squishy
+adj porous pickled coughed-up thick vapid hacked-up
+adj unmuzzled bawdy vain lumpish churlish fobbing rank craven puking
+adj jarring fly-bitten pox-marked fen-sucked spongy droning gleeking warped
+adj currish milk-livered surly mammering ill-borne beef-witted tickle-brained
+adj half-faced headless wayward rump-fed onion-eyed beslubbering villainous
+adj lewd-minded cockered full-gorged rude-snouted crook-pated pribbling
+adj dread-bolted fool-born puny fawning sheep-biting dankish goatish
+adj weather-bitten knotty-pated malt-wormy saucyspleened motley-mind
+adj it-fowling vassal-willed loggerheaded clapper-clawed frothy ruttish
+adj clouted common-kissing pignutted folly-fallen plume-plucked flap-mouthed
+adj swag-bellied dizzy-eyed gorbellied weedy reeky measled spur-galled mangled
+adj impertinent bootless toad-spotted hasty-witted horn-beat yeasty
+adj imp-bladdereddle-headed boil-brained tottering hedge-born hugger-muggered
+adj elf-skinned
+
+##
+# Amounts
+##
+amt accumulation bucket coagulation enema-bucketful gob half-mouthful
+amt heap mass mound petrification pile puddle stack thimbleful tongueful
+amt ooze quart bag plate ass-full assload
+
+##
+# Objects
+##
+noun bat|toenails bug|spit cat|hair chicken|piss dog|vomit dung
+noun fat-woman's|stomach-bile fish|heads guano gunk pond|scum rat|retch
+noun red|dye|number-9 Sun|IPC|manuals waffle-house|grits yoo-hoo
+noun dog|balls seagull|puke cat|bladders pus urine|samples
+noun squirrel|guts snake|assholes snake|bait buzzard|gizzards
+noun cat-hair-balls rat-farts pods armadillo|snouts entrails
+noun snake|snot eel|ooze slurpee-backwash toxic|waste Stimpy-drool
+noun poopy poop craptacular|carpet|droppings jizzum cold|sores anal|warts