X-Git-Url: https://git.donarmstrong.com/?a=blobdiff_plain;f=signature_stuff%2Fquote_misc.txt;h=d41c2e4f9d05c120ad2603d8ba2cca1173b42801;hb=72f81743a4a798e3e84892631aa08229e74de27c;hp=1423e08a87382db95af3931eb3732ccb2c4c37c9;hpb=c3e80d16f264b88116983f35c89877f8be288a2e;p=lib.git diff --git a/signature_stuff/quote_misc.txt b/signature_stuff/quote_misc.txt index 1423e08..d41c2e4 100644 --- a/signature_stuff/quote_misc.txt +++ b/signature_stuff/quote_misc.txt @@ -2,3 +2,458 @@ With that he haled me before the wali and I tasted an artistic meal of stick, till I fell in a faint. -- The Thousand Nights And One Night (The Tale of Ghānim Ibn Ayyūr) [v1 p324] +% + EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOMEN +Don't be teased or humiliated. See their look of surprise when you +step right up to a urinal and use it with a smile. Get Dr. Mary Evers' +EQUAL-NOW Adapter (pat. appld. for) -- purse size, fool proof, +sanitary -- comes in nine lovely, feminine, psychedelic patterns -- +requires no fitting, no prescriptions. + -- Robert A Heinlein _I Will Fear No Evil_ p470. +% +She was alot like starbucks. +IE, generic and expensive. + -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/001376.html +% +Guns Don't Kill People. +*I* Kill People. +% +DIE! + -- Maritza Campos http://www.crfh.net/d/20020601.html +% +"I was thinking seven figures," he said, "but I would have taken a +hundred grand. I'm not a greedy person." [All for a moldy bottle of +tropicana.] + -- Sammi Hadzovic [in Andy Newman's 2003/02/14 NYT article.] + http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/14/nyregion/14EYEB.html +% +CNN/Reuters: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US +forces have swooped on an Iraqi Primary School and detained 6th Grade +teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested, +Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and +a calculator. US President George W Bush argued that this was clear +and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of math +instruction. +% +I'd never hurt another living thing. +But if I did... +It would be you. + -- Chris Bishop http://www.chrisbishop.com/her/archives/her69.html +% +[Panama, 1989. The U.S. government called it "Operation Just Cause".] +I think they misspelled this. Shouldn't it be "Operation Just 'Cause"? + -- TekPolitik http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=59669&cid=5664907 +% +Sentenced to two years hard labor (for sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood +handcuffed in driving rain waiting for transport to prison. "If this +is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners," he remarked, "she +doesn't deserve to have any." +% +It has always been Debian's philosophy in the past to stick to what +makes sense, regardless of what crack the rest of the universe is +smoking. + -- Andrew Suffield in 20030403211305.GD29698@doc.ic.ac.uk +% + why the hell does kernel-source-2.6.3 depend on xfree86-common? + It... Doesn't? + good point +% +"Facts" are the refuge of people unwilling to reassess what they hold +to be "True". +% +If you find it impossible to believe that the universe didn't have a +creator, why don't you find it impossible that your creator didn't +have one either? + -- Anonymous Coward http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=167556&cid=13970629 +% +The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of +the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the +benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any +curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation. + -- Adolf Hitler _Mein Kampf_ p403 +% +Tell me something interesting about yourself. +Lie if you have to. + -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/archives/batch20.php +% +We were at a chinese restaurant. +He was yelling at the waitress because there was a typo in his fortune +cookie. + -- hugh http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000321.html +% +Three little words. (In order of importance.) + █████ + █ ▌ ▞▀▖▌ ▌▛▀▘ + █ ▌ ▌ ▌▝▞ ▛▀ you + █ ▀▀▘▝▀ ▘ ▀▀▘ + █████ -- hugh macleod "Three Words" +% +N: Why should I believe that?" +B: Because it's a fact." +N: Fact?" +B: F, A, C, T... fact" +N: So you're saying that I should believe it because it's true. + That's your argument? +B: It IS true. +-- "Ploy" http://www.mediacampaign.org/multimedia/Ploy.MPG +% +UF: What's your favorite coffee blend? +PD: Dark Crude with heavy water. You are understandink? "If geiger + counter does not click, the coffee, she is just not thick." +% +Quite the contrary; they *love* collateral damage. If they can make +you miserable enough, maybe you'll stop using email entirely. Once +enough people do that, then there'll be no legitimate reason left for +anyone to run an SMTP server, and the spam problem will be solved. + -- Craig Dickson in <20020909231134.GA18917@linux700.localnet> +% +It seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong + -- Chris Torek +% +Filing a bug is probably not going to get it fixed any faster. + -- Anthony Towns +% +Build a fire for a man, an he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on +fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. + -- Jules Bean +% +Dropping non-free would set us back at least, what, 300 packages? It'd +take MONTHS to make up the difference, and meanwhile Debian users will +be fleeing to SLACKWARE. + +And what about SHAREHOLDER VALUE? + -- Matt Zimmerman in <20021120225004.GX14809@mizar.alcor.net> +% +"One disk to rule them all, One disk to find them. One disk to bring +them all and in the darkness grind them. In the Land of Redmond +where the shadows lie." -- The Silicon Valley Tarot +% +You could say she lived on the edge... Well, maybe not exactly on the edge, +just close enough to watch other people fall off. + -- hugh macleod http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000309.html +% +Of course Pacman didn't influence us as kids. If it did, we'd be +running around in darkened rooms, popping pills and listening to +repetitive music. +% +"It's not Hollywood. War is real, war is primarily not about defeat or +victory, it is about death. I've seen thousands and thousands of dead +bodies. Do you think I want to have an academic debate on this +subject?" + -- Robert Fisk +% +THERE IS NO GRAVITY THE WORLD SUCKS + -- Vietnam War Penquin Lighter +http://gallery.donarmstrong.com/clippings/vietnam_there_is_no_gravity.jpg +% +Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. + -- Robert Heinlein +% +If you have the slightest bit of intellectual integrity you cannot +support the government. -- anonymous +% +Debian's not really about the users or the software at all. It's a +large flame-generating engine that the cabal uses to heat their coffee + -- Andrew Suffield (#debian-devel Fri, 14 Feb 2003 14:34 -0500) +% +"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. +We don't believe this to be a coincidence." + -- Jeremy S. Anderson +% +"There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user +off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their +REAL earnings to the IRS." + -- The B.O.F.H.. +% +When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I +realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked +Him to forgive me. + -- Emo Philips. +% +"People selling drug paraphernalia ... are as much a part of drug +trafficking as silencers are a part of criminal homicide." + -- John Brown, DEA Chief +% +Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and +the Ugly). + -- Matt Welsh +% +A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but +won't cross the street to vote in a national election. + -- Bill Vaughan +% +I now know how retro SCOs OSes are. Riotous, riotous stuff. How they +had the ya-yas to declare Linux an infant OS in need of their IP is +beyond me. Upcoming features? PAM. files larger than 2 gigs. NFS over +TCP. The 80's called, they want their features back. + -- Compactable Dave http://www3.sympatico.ca/dcarpeneto/sco.html +% +This message brought to you by weapons of mass destruction related +program activities, and the letter G. +% +Frankly, if ignoring inane opinions and noisy people and not flaming +them to crisp is bad behavior, I have not yet achieved a state of +nirvana. + -- Manoj Srivastava in 87n04pzhmh.fsf@glaurung.internal.golden-gryphon.com +% +"For those who understand, no explanation is necessary. + For those who do not, none is possible." +% +Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but +that's not why we do it. + -- Richard Feynman +% +"I'm a rational being--of a sort--rational enough, at least, to see the +symptoms of insanity around me. And I'm human, the same as the people +I think of as victims when my guard drops. It's at least possible I'm +even crazier than my fellows, whom I'm tempted to pity. +"There seems only one thing to do, and that's get drunk" + -- Chad C. Mulligan (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p390) +% +I leave the show floor, but not before a pack of caffeinated Jolt gum +is thrust at me by a hyperactive girl screaming, "Chew more! Do more!" +The American will to consume more and produce more personified in a +stick of gum. I grab it. + -- Chad Dickerson +% +I never until now realized that the primary job of any emoticon is to +say "excuse me, that didn't make any sense." ;-P + -- Cory Doctorow +% +I'd sign up in a hot second for any cellular company whose motto was: +"We're less horrible than a root canal with a cold chisel." + -- Cory Doctorow +% +Miracles had become relative common-places since the advent of +entheogens; it now took very unusual circumstances to attract public +attention to sightings of supernatural entities. The latest miracle +had raised the ante on the supernatural: the Virgin Mary had +manifested herself to two children, a dog, and a Public Telepresence +Point. + -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p228 +% +Junkies were all knitted together in a loose global macrame, the +intercontinental freemasonry of narcotics. + -- Bruce Sterling, _Holy Fire_ p257 +% +America was far better suited to be the World's Movie Star. The +world's tequila-addled pro-league bowler. The world's acerbic bi-polar +stand-up comedian. Anything but a somber and tedious nation of +socially responsible centurions. + -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p122 +% +The attackers hadn't simply robbed the bank. They had carried off +everything portable, including the security cameras, the carpets, the +chairs, and the light and plumbing fixtures. The conspirators had +deliberately punished the bank, for reasons best known to themselves, +or to their unknown controllers. They had superglued doors and +shattered windows, severed power and communications cables, poured +stinking toxins into the wallspaces, and concreted all of the sinks +and drains. In eight minutes, sixty people had ruined the building so +thoroughly that it had to be condemned and later demolished. + -- Bruce Sterling, _Distraction_ p4 +% +"Ban cryptography! Yes. Let's also ban pencils, pens and paper, since +criminals can use them to draw plans of the joint they are casing or +even, god forbid, create one time pads to pass uncrackable codes to +each other. Ban open spaces since criminals could use them to converse +with each other out of earshot of the police. Let's ban flags since +they could be used to pass secret messages in semaphore. In fact let's +just ban all forms of verbal and non-verbal communication -- let's see +those criminals make plans now!" +% +Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on +society. + -- Mark Twain +% +My spelling ability, or rather the lack thereof, is one of the wonders +of the modern world. +% +There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good +sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. + -- Woody Allen +% +Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for +the people. + -- Oscar Wilde +% +I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like +to run their own business. I know men that would make my wife a +better husband than I am; but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to +'em. + -- The Best of Will Rogers +% +More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. +One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. +The other, to total extinction. +Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. + -- Woody Allen +% +"Because," Fee-5 explained patiently, "I was born in the fifth row. +Any fool would understand that, but against stupidity the very Gods +themselves contend in vain." + -- Alfred Bester _The Computer Connection_ p19 +% +The beauty of the DRUNKENNESS subprogram was that you could move your +intoxication level up and down at will, instead of being caught on a +relentless down escalator to bargain basement philosophy and the +parking garage. + -- Rudy von Bitter _Software_ p124 +% +Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you. If you don't +bet, you can't win. + -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p240 +% +An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications. + -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p244 +% +There is no such thing as "social gambling." Either you are there to +cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it--or you're a sucker. If you +don't like this choice--don't gamble. + -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p250 +% +In all matters of government, the correct answer is usually: "Do +nothing" + -- Robert Heinlein _Time Enough For Love_ p428 +% +No amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free +[...] You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him. + -- Robert Heinlein _Revolt in 2010_ p54 +% +LEADERSHIP -- A form of self-preservation exhibited by people with +autodestructive imaginations in order to ensure that when it comes to +the crunch it'll be someone else's bones which go crack and not their +own. + -- The HipCrime Vocab by Chad C. Mulligan + (John Brunner _Stand On Zanzibar_ p256-7) +% +Information wants to be free to kill again. + -- Red Robot http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1372 +% +NASCAR is a Yankee conspiracy to keep you all placated so the South +won't rise again. + -- http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=327 +% +S: Make me a sandwich +B: What? Make it yourself. +S: sudo make me a sandwich +B: Okay. + -- xkcd http://xkcd.com/c149.html +% +Democracy is more dangerous than fire. Fire can't vote itself immune +to water. + -- Michael Z. Williamson +% +A Democracy lead by politicians and political parties, fails. +% +PowerPoint is symptomatic of a certain type of bureaucratic +environment: one typified by interminable presentations with lots of +fussy little bullet-points and flashy dissolves and soundtracks masked +into the background, to try to convince the audience that the goon +behind the computer has something significant to say. + -- Charles Stross _The Jennifer Morgue_ p33 +% +Everyone has to die. And in a hundred years nobody's going to inquire +just how most people died. The best thing is to do it in the way that +strikes your fancy most. + -- Kenzaburō Ōe _Silent Cry_ p5 +% +The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other +invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila + -- Mitch Ratcliffe +% +G: If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do? +EB: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and +scatter oneself over a wide area. + -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4 +% +Religion is religion, however you wrap it, and like Quell says, a +preoccupation with the next world clearly signals an inability to cope +credibly with this one. + -- Richard K. Morgan "Broken Angels" p65 +% +J.W. Grant: "Bastard!" +Rico: "Yes, Sir. In my case, an accident of birth. But you, Sir, +you're a self-made man." + -- Henry "Rico" Fardan in "The Professionals" +% +a friend will help you move +a best friend will help you move bodies +but if you have to move your best friend's body +you're on your own + -- a softer world #242 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=242 +% +The carbon footprint of a single human being is enormous. +If you think about it, your honour, +I'm an environmentalist. + -- a softer world #283 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=283 +% +Where am I? THE VILLAGE. What do you want? INFORMATION. Which side are +you on? THAT WOULD BE TELLING. WE WANT INFORMATION. INFORMATION. +INFORMATION. You won't get it! BY HOOK OR BY CROOK, WE WILL. Who are +you? THE NEW NUMBER 2. Who is Number 1? YOU ARE NUMBER 6. I am not a +number! I am a free man! HAHAHAHAHAHA. + -- Patrick McGoohan as Number 6 with Number 2 in "The Prisoner" +% +Judge if you want. +We are all going to die. +I intend to deserve it. + -- a softer world #421 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=421 +% +Rule 6: "If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to +enough of it." + -- Howard Tayler _Schlock Mercenary_ March 13th, 2005 + http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050313.html +% +listen, what you do in the privacy +of your neighbour's house while they're away +is your own business + -- a softer world #511 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=511 +% +Sometimes I wish I could take back all my mistakes +but then I think +what if my mother could take back hers? + -- a softer world #498 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=498 +% +Clean living is less fun +and you wind up feeling stupid +when you still die. + -- a softer world #489 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=489 +% +If god is always watching over us +who's driving? + -- a softer world #487 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=487 +% +Maybe I did steal your heart +and I am such a perfect criminal +that you never noticed + -- a softer world #481 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=481 +% +Life would be way easier +if I were easier. + -- a softer world #473 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=473 +% +I always thought +violence didn't solve anything +until one day it did. + -- a softer world #470 + http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=470 +% +Given that the odds of a miracle are one in one million, and events +which could be a miracle happen every second, the odds of not seeing a +miracle in a month are less than 8 in 100. Clearly miracles are not +all that miraculous. +% +"Do you think you might be suffering from post-traumatic stress +disorder?" [...] +"Who isn't?" + -- Walter Jon Williams _This Is Not A Game_ p121